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Had an abortion - boyfriend found out! watch

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    Also, a little aside to the people making comparisons between embryos and babies, that's why our current abortion laws and those of most countries reflect viability - by the point a foetus could survive WITHOUT the mother, it is illegal to abort it unless there would be serious health implications for mother or child.
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    (Original post by Rucklo)
    You can do the mature thing of tell him beforehand with someone else in the room for safety and discuss , because shock horror, people change there minds, he might make her realise she wanted it really or the other way around. And then she could make her decision.

    Or she could do the immature thing like she did and then wonder why hes pissed off, which I would be.


    Sorry, I have no idea why you quoted me when you said this. I completely agree.
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    (Original post by happy watermelon)
    I completely agree that the father should - in a normal situation - have a right. If I got pregnant the first thing I would do would be to talk to my boyfriend. However, firstly their relationship was over and secondly he's been violent, controlling and threatening to her.

    Although I think it is important to have the consent of the father when bringing a child into the world - I think it's unacceptable that girls can just go "it's my body, I want this baby so you're just going to have to pay me alimony and/or be a father" - I think it is absolutely ridiculous to even think that the father should have any right to say "you're pregnant with my child and I want it so therefore you have to have it". At the end of the day it's the woman who has to carry it for 9 months, breastfeed afterwards and more often than not bring up the child.

    And I agree with the contraception thing, but mistakes do happen and they're both at fault for it, not just her. If people are having sex, then they should be able to jointly discuss contraception and what to do if a pregnancy does happen really.
    That's what I was trying to say. :yes:

    In this situation the OP should have definately told the boyfriend/ex before - even if they were going to have an abortion. It's only considerate for his feelings.
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    and carry it for 9 months and give birth to it? its not always about looking after it when its born, do you not realise how much of an inconvenience a baby can be even before its born
    You are sick for a few mornings and have a bump on your stomach. Yeah thats good enough reason to not even consider keeping the baby. You aren't seriously trying to defend her. OP is a selfish, inconsiderate, idiot.
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    (Original post by dannylj)
    You are sick for a few mornings and have a bump on your stomach. Yeah thats good enough reason to not even consider keeping the baby. You aren't seriously trying to defend her. OP is a selfish, inconsiderate, idiot.


    and you are a person that has no clue what hes talking about

    'sick a few mornings and bump on stomach' :rofl: if thats all it really was then being pregnant would be a piece of piss for every woman
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    (Original post by ash-corbett-collins)
    His behaviour was understandable in the situation. To him, his child has been murdered. I suppose you would take that news calmly?

    Are you completely deluded? They were NOT in a relationship at the time, and she didn't want to be with him anymore so why did she have to tell him? And judging by his reaction don't you think she was right in not telling him, or do you think he'd be different when she said that he would have made her keep it?
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    FYI i actually dont want a baby that much that im actually not and never planning on having sex so your assumptions about me are way off the mark
    Hang on... you told us earlier you have a boyfriend who you are with ALL THE TIME. Fail.
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    (Original post by SpamBa)
    Hang on... you told us earlier you have a boyfriend who you are with ALL THE TIME. Fail.
    yeah so? how is it a fail

    i have a bf but we dont have sex, problem?
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    (Original post by Shonak)
    Clearly can't spell just fine, despite popular belief. And I don't think bold lettering will make my point any less ridiculous, either.
    Welcome to teh interwebz my friend, the land of typos and irritating people who love to point out typos.
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    FYI i actually dont want a baby that much that im actually not and never planning on having sex so your assumptions about me are way off the mark
    Good luck with that.

    Abstinence and slutty pictures of your ass are not particularly compatible.
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    (Original post by Bslforever)
    Good luck with that.

    Abstinence and slutty pictures of your ass are not particularly compatible.
    i dont need luck lol i made a decision never to have sex and im sticking to it
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    (Original post by Pink Bullets)
    Yeah, always good to consult a violent abusive thug before you do anything they might take issue with. :rolleyes:
    You are a ******* idiot, you know that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so in a situation and I don’t know what to do.

    A couple of months ago I found out I was pregnant and immediately aborted it without a second thought. There is no way I can have a baby at this stage of my life and I never plan to have a baby ever – I’m not a maternal women.

    I didn’t consult the ex as I knew he would force me to keep it (I broke up with him straight after I found out I was pregnant)

    Some history on me and the ex:
    We’ve been on/off for 5 years. He is way more attached to me than I to him. As much as I love him I have problems in holding down a relationship – fears of commitment and abandonment which I can’t be bothered to go in detail – most of all our problems in the relationship stem from me e.g some months I would be ok and things would ok between us then I would leave him out of the blue as I felt I was being smothered and needed space. He is a very loving man and says I am “the one” he will marry and that he wont stop – emotional ******** like that puts me off im not a lovey dovey person - he has on more than one occasion proposed but I always run away as I cant be bothered with all this commitment **** . He’s always complaining that I’m dead and cold-hearted.

    Anyway a couple of days ago I found my ex had broken in to my flat after he found (I still don’t know how – I told no one) out about the abortion. I come home to find him sitting in my living room. He immediately started screaming profanities at me calling me evil for aborting his baby, and what kind of mother I was etc.
    When I tried to argue my case he started punching the walls and smashing everything in the room the TV, the chairs, just everything - I got really frightened so I ran in my bedroom and locked the door.
    I could hear him screaming at me “we could have made it work” “why didn’t you tell me” “you killed my baby”

    After a few hours of him hysterically crying, screaming profanities and trying to break my bedroom door he had calmed down and asked me to open the door so we could talk properly and he would promise not to lose his temper on me – I still was pretty shaken up and was too scared to open the door so I asked him to leave which after a while he did.

    Anyway now I’m really scared as I don’t know what he will do. I know I was wrong not to tell him but I know what he is like and he would’ve forced me to keep it which is a no-no for me. He has a history of doing stupid things as he is (actually we both are) eccentric people e.g at one point he tied me up to the bed post to stop me from leaving him – very stupid very dumb stuff.

    I have heard anything from him for a few days but I have a feeling something will happen in the next few days. What shall I do?
    My ex-fianceé admitted to me that she was not as attached to me as I was to her and that she was no longer "in love". After a few months, our relationship spiralled out of control. I started to analyse every decision she'd make and the decisions she wouldn't make trying to understand her. In some ways she was running away from me and I couldn't cope with it. It deteriorated to a point I had never imagined it would reach - it was really toxic at one point. The main reason for that is that my impression of her was that she was cold hearted, and so I naturally perceived much of her words and acts as such regardless of her intent.

    Point is, I'm not surprised at the reaction of your ex. I think that explosion of anger and tears was the culmination of his frustration and heart break at your difficult to commit or be as devoted to him as he was to you. If he felt anything like I did, the loss of control of the relationship and how every consequent example would be of the extreme is enough to give you sleepless nights for a long time. You don't know if it's "you", or "her" or fate.

    I can't imagine the problems you've been going through and I'm certain the complications of your relationship discouraged you from telling your boyfriend. But by failing to do so, you did something unforgivable. Aside from the actual decision making, you hid it from him. You had no right to do that.

    You must get him some support and help, even professional help.
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    op, u should have told him.. the baby was his too. He such an amazing guy but u..u r such a big slut!
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    (Original post by SuperSam_Fantastiche)
    I'm not violent, abusive or a thug, but if I was a guy and my girlfriend aborted my baby without even telling me she was pregnant I'd go pretty ******* mental tbh.
    +1
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    i dont need luck lol i made a decision never to have sex and im sticking to it
    Pfft.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    op, u should have told him.. the baby was his too. He such an amazing guy but u..u r such a big slut!
    Eh? :lolwut:
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    (Original post by Meus)
    My ex-fianceé admitted to me that she was not as attached to me as I was to her and that she was no longer "in love". After a few months, our relationship spiralled out of control. I started to analyse every decision she'd make and the decisions she wouldn't make trying to understand her. In some ways she was running away from me and I couldn't cope with it. It deteriorated to a point I had never imagined it would reach - it was really toxic at one point. The main reason for that is that my impression of her was that she was cold hearted, and so I naturally perceived much of her words and acts as such regardless of her intent.

    Point is, I'm not surprised at the reaction of your ex. I think that explosion of anger and tears was the culmination of his frustration and heart break at your difficult to commit or be as devoted to him as he was to you. If he felt anything like I did, the loss of control of the relationship and how every consequent example would be of the extreme is enough to give you sleepless nights for a long time. You don't know if it's "you", or "her" or fate.

    I can't imagine the problems you've been going through and I'm certain the complications of your relationship discouraged you from telling your boyfriend. But by failing to do so, you did something unforgivable. Aside from the actual decision making, you hid it from him. You had no right to do that.

    You must get him some support and help, even professional help.
    I get that you empathise with this guy, to an extent I do too, we've all had our hearts broken at some point. But this guy broke into her house and wrecked it, verbally abused her. She had to hide in her room she was so terrified. That is not a lovers tiff, that's a dangerous angry man attacking her. Would you have done this to your ex girlfriend? Would you have tied her up if she tried to leave you? If I knew my ex would react like that, there's no way I'd tell him if I got an abortion, not if he was going to attack and threaten me.
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    Eh? :lolwut:
    Didn't you read the part where he bought her flowers, baked cookies and saved puppy dogs? No? Oh, i guess it was just him then.
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    (Original post by Bslforever)
    Didn't you read the part where he bought her flowers, baked cookies and saved puppy dogs? No? Oh, i guess it was just him then.
    I didn't read the whole thread so I dunno if you're being sarcastic towards me or the person I quoted! :o:
 
 
 
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