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    Ok so I went on a date with this guy I really like the other day and we made plans to meet up again...he's recently got out of a 5 year relationship and his ex is going travelling so no worry there. However, Yesterday he texted me saying he isn't looking for a relationship right now, 5 years was a long time and he wants to be single for a little bit.

    I told him we'd stay friends and he joked about being friends with benefits..I made it QUITE clear I wasn't interested in that! Do you think he was never interested in a relationship in the first place? Or he just got cold feet about it...
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    So I should take it as he won't be interested in a relationship? Guessing he won't have anymore respect for me for refusing to be friends with benefits...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I should take it as he won't be interested in a relationship? Guessing he won't have anymore respect for me for refusing to be friends with benefits...
    I don't think he'd have any respect for you if you accepted to be honest
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    And thats exactly why I didn't! I feel like he panicked, he was fine before and seemed to want to make lots of plans...
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    (Original post by sugar_and_spice)
    I don't think he'd have any respect for you if you accepted to be honest
    How did you work that out?
    If two people want sex but not a relationship that doesn't make the girl a **** and wouldn't make me think any less of her..
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    Show him what he's missing out on and tell him he can't have it, forbidden fruit and such .

    If you want to reel the biggest fish it takes a lot of time and dedication. Wouldn’t you actually be disappointed if he was an easy catch?
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    Bottom line: Don't make assumptions. It was probably a joke.
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    (Original post by bikipip)
    This pretty much answers your question. He wasn't joking, he was testing the water to see if you were interested.

    If he liked you that much he would want to be in a relationship, not friends-with-benefits.
    This.
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    (Original post by bikipip)
    This pretty much answers your question. He wasn't joking, he was testing the water to see if you were interested.

    If he liked you that much he would want to be in a relationship, not friends-with-benefits.
    This.
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    Yeah but he's a guy, and Im assuming that in due time he will infact want a relationship with someone, right?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah but he's a guy, and Im assuming that in due time he will infact want a relationship with someone, right?
    Men need women no more than women need men. He may jump into the bed of the next girl he meets or he may play the field a bit.
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    I'm going to go with he thought he wanted to be in a relationship again, he probably misses his ex, but then when he started doing couply things with you, he probably freaked out and realised that he wasn't over his ex, and only wanted something more casual with you. It's happened to me before, and we're barely friends anymore.
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    Why are you so cut up? He sounds a bit of a jerk if i am honest, giving you all the signs he wanted a relationship, then saying he didn't want a relationship and then asking if you would just have sex with him anyway. Well done you for saying no. If he wants to be friends then that is great but obviously he isn't really over his ex yet.
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    Forget him and he'll see what he's missing out on. But give him some time-5 years is a lonnnnng time.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Why are you so cut up? He sounds a bit of a jerk if i am honest, giving you all the signs he wanted a relationship, then saying he didn't want a relationship and then asking if you would just have sex with him anyway. Well done you for saying no. If he wants to be friends then that is great but obviously he isn't really over his ex yet.
    Simply because I really like him...and it's like people have said, he might have been joking. He has seemed really genuine until that comment.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so I went on a date with this guy I really like the other day and we made plans to meet up again...he's recently got out of a 5 year relationship and his ex is going travelling so no worry there. However, Yesterday he texted me saying he isn't looking for a relationship right now, 5 years was a long time and he wants to be single for a little bit.

    I told him we'd stay friends and he joked about being friends with benefits..I made it QUITE clear I wasn't interested in that! Do you think he was never interested in a relationship in the first place? Or he just got cold feet about it...
    Ok so I waited and about 5 days later he texted me saying "Hi, how are you?" I told him I was confused about the whole situation and it was unlike him and he apologised. I just don't understand why he bothered to get in touch when he doesn't want a relationship and I said no to "Friends with benefits"?!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so I waited and about 5 days later he texted me saying "Hi, how are you?" I told him I was confused about the whole situation and it was unlike him and he apologised. I just don't understand why he bothered to get in touch when he doesn't want a relationship and I said no to "Friends with benefits"?!
    You did the right thing :yep:
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    Yeah but how comes he is still showing some kind of interest? (Still texting) I don't see him very often so it would be easy to stop contacting me.
 
 
 
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