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    Just do whatever feels natural, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry about what people think, they’ve got their own lives to worry about, just go with the flow.
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    Thanks everyone - the general consensus is just to go with it and forget the difference then?
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    I think when the youngest person is over 18 I stop caring about age differences. If other people think it's weird, so what?
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    (Original post by nolongerhearthemusic)
    I think when the youngest person is over 18 I stop caring about age differences. If other people think it's weird, so what?
    You'd think that, but I'd find it weird if an 18 year old went out with a 50 year old for example.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, basically...

    I get on really well with one of the Postgrads at Uni, and we've worked together on extra-curricular stuff.

    The thing is, we're both attracted to each other (as has become pretty evident over the last two months or so) and are flirting quite a lot. He keeps asking me to go for a drink/meal with him, and I'm really tempted to say yes.

    The thing that's worrying me, is what other people would think: there's just over ten years between us. There's the same difference between my Parents, oddly enough. But I'm being really wary not to be used for sex and kind of changing the question to distract him from asking me out. I don't want to get attacked for going for someone so much older, even though he's lovely...

    I really don't know what to do. We're both doing the same course more or less (but his is an MA) and at the same frustrated stage.

    My ex was 2 years older than me but it never caused problems... But I think 10 years might?

    I don't know what to do

    Anon please, as friends are on here.

    SAY YES!

    nothing wrong with it at all!

    okay when you started primary he was prolly shagging the faces off of girls but meh... dont listen to the haterzz :P

    I dont understand why anybody doubts whether or not they should see people who are waaaay older/younger than them. Celebrities seem to have the permission to do it without asking, why shouldn't a TSRian?

    xxx
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    I'm 21 and my boyfriend's 31 and we've been together for nearly 3 years. At first it was a little odd when meeting his friends as they all worked full time and I was just starting uni but once i got to know them it was fine. I say go for it! I completely forget that he's older than me now, its really not an issues unless you make it one
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    when both parties are over 18 anything is game.

    You just have to take responsibility for your actions. It sounds like you understand this so go for it
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    I bet he's a happy guy!
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    Similarly theres a 9 year gap between my boyfriend and I, and I was faced with this same dilemma in Spetember when i decided to make it official. He's in the last year of his phd (26) and I'm starting university next year (18- in may). The annoying thing about our age gap is that I still live at home with my mum and live under her rules to a certain extent, I don't have the freedom he has. (coincidentally she has met him and likes him, but i said he was 22) Our relationship started as what I thought would be a one night stand, so a bit differently to yours. But it turned out to be more and we've been together for 5 months now. I'm mature for my age, he thinks I act in many ways a lot older than he is, and we're going strong. I still find it difficult to integrate him with my friends as he is naturally very critical and finds then 'young and irritating', but makes an effort for me anyway. Also he lives in Birmingham and I live in London, despite the age gap the distance and everything else in our way, we love eachother and it's going very well. Go with your gut instinct don't sacrifice your happiness for what other people will think! Its you in the relationship not anyone else, do it, it worked out for me
    p.s in regards to settling down, dont even think about its far to early to contemplate, dont overthing and complicate it before its even begun!
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    I don't think it's a problem! In fact, any age gap isn't that much of a problem if the youngest person if over 18.

    Just an example, but Lauren Bacall loved and married Humphrey Bogart, and there was a 25 year age gap between them.

    http://i47.tinypic.com/14xi1ir.jpg
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    Personally I think it's too big an age gap. I tend to think of age difference in terms of percentage, as opposed to absolute difference. Let's call the age difference ΔA. As opposed to your age difference being equal to:

    ΔA = 11 years.

    Your percentage age difference is:

    ΔA/your age = 11/19 = 58%! (! not intended to mean factorial, just to emphasize the point)

    I think it becomes acceptable once percentage ΔA drops below 45% (i.e. when you're 25). At that stage you're mature enough to make a decision about someone so much older than you.

    Sorry for the mathematical approach, but I think it's necessary to evaluate it using this methodology.
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    The fact you have anything in common is disturbing. He should be looking for a family & a morgage, you should be going on benders & puking into toilets.
    There's enough time to date 30 year olds when your 30.
    It's creepy and it won't work. Not at your age.
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    glad you've called him, but don't let it just be about sex! be prepared to let it possibly happen, but without being too forward yourself!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and my boyfriend's 31 and we've been together for nearly 3 years. At first it was a little odd when meeting his friends as they all worked full time and I was just starting uni but once i got to know them it was fine. I say go for it! I completely forget that he's older than me now, its really not an issues unless you make it one
    Well it's good to know that it is possible for it to work

    Thanks!
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    It can work!!

    I'm 22 and my "boy"friend is 41.
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    (Original post by VikiB)
    glad you've called him, but don't let it just be about sex! be prepared to let it possibly happen, but without being too forward yourself!
    I haven't - that wasn't me that put that.

    I'm certainly not going to rush into it so that it's all about sex from the start.

    It will be a while, if we do start going out, before I do let him.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    The fact you have anything in common is disturbing. He should be looking for a family & a morgage, you should be going on benders & puking into toilets.
    There's enough time to date 30 year olds when your 30.
    It's creepy and it won't work. Not at your age.
    I'm sorry, but I'm not into going out on benders. I prefer quiet nights in or the odd night down the Pub - It's called maturity!

    We are both studying law and want to succeed in the legal profession - with such an intense degree; we have a lot in common aim-wise and free-time wise.

    And I'm sorry, but he is not creepy. He's funny, smart, and world-wise. Unlike most other guys, he hasn't spent the whole time he's spent with me trying to get into my pants or looking down my top.
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    (Original post by CocoPop)
    Personally I think it's too big an age gap. I tend to think of age difference in terms of percentage, as opposed to absolute difference. Let's call the age difference ΔA. As opposed to your age difference being equal to:

    ΔA = 11 years.

    Your percentage age difference is:

    ΔA/your age = 11/19 = 58%! (! not intended to mean factorial, just to emphasize the point)

    I think it becomes acceptable once percentage ΔA drops below 45% (i.e. when you're 25). At that stage you're mature enough to make a decision about someone so much older than you.

    Sorry for the mathematical approach, but I think it's necessary to evaluate it using this methodology.
    Sorry but I can't quantify the value or potential success of a relationship using a mathematical formula - I'm not a mathematician, and I don't think there's a formula that can tell me whether its "right" or not.

    Social opinions are of greater importance.
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    Seems alright to me. My mum met my dad when she was 19, he was 36. 21 years later and they're still together, so age shouldn't matter too much.
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    (Original post by truthandtragedy)
    Seems alright to me. My mum met my dad when she was 19, he was 36. 21 years later and they're still together, so age shouldn't matter too much.
    That's encouraging
 
 
 
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