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    I basically just need to vent my fury and get some feedback really.

    Me and my friend had sex yesterday, it was my first time and he knew I was still a virgin. He told me he really likes some other girl but this did not stop him from having sex with me; he was the initiator!

    Before we had sex he was always texting me, wanting me to do things with him etc. As soon as we had done it, I instantly felt awful and knew instinctively that something had changed. 2 mins after we'd stopped, he said I should get my clothes on and, "i dont want to sound like i'm kicking you out but i'll walk you back to your car now"!!

    Now, i'm far from stupid and I turn 20 in a matter of weeks. This was something me and him had discussed doing since last June. Yet I feel like a cheap **** right now because he is treating me like one.

    He text me later that night to say 'sorry, I shouldn;t have let that happen. I feel like i took advantage of you. Can we just forget it?'

    This really hurts me as it was my first time and I though I could honestly trust him to be at least a little sensitive!

    Today at uni, he normally stands by the entrance of the lecture room but noticed I was there so stayed the furthest from me he could possibly be and stared out of the window - basically acting like I don't exist!

    My friends say he's not worth even thinking about and should just ignore him! But obviously thats not that easy.

    I would really appreciate some positive advice on how to move on from this/witty comebacks if he approaches me again/ or just a big virtual hug

    xx
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    It happens to all of us *hug*. A similiar incident has happened to me a few months back, but ye, I guess I walked into that one. Chin up girl and trust your gut instinct. It's underrated.
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    Well you were an idiot for sleeping with someone who obviously doesn't care for you in the slightest but meh it happens to all of us. Suck it up and move on, you will meet more men like this but hopefully you'l realised before it's too late.
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    (Original post by lost_puppy)
    It happens to all of us *hug*. A similiar incident has happened to me a few months back, but ye, I guess I walked into that one. Chin up girl and trust your gut instinct. It's underrated.

    I'm sorry it happened to you too! Men are such complete losers! He's on facebook now liking every girl's status! GAH! I totally walked into this too. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing. I guess you need to make a mistake like this to learn and move on though xx
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Well you were an idiot for sleeping with someone who obviously doesn't care for you in the slightest but meh it happens to all of us. Suck it up and move on, you will meet more men like this but hopefully you'l realised before it's too late.
    I know I am an idiot - i'm kicking myself for sleeping with him but I can't live in the past so i'll just have to forget about him! Thanks for your advice xx
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    Sex with a friend is pretty much a recipe for awkwardness, him avoiding you at the moment is more likely because of that than him having used you for what he wanted. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
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    he doesn't sound that bad a guy- he probably feels awkward. you haven't been used for sex. when you've been used, you'll know...
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    (Original post by lauraa1)
    he was the initiator!
    Learn to be the refuser! (If that's even a word)
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    Oh dear lord, I don't know who's more stupid - you or he? No offence OP, but you shouldn't have slept with him, he's a total *******! You are so naive or what? Now you have to just forget about him and deal with this stupid situation somehow.

    Oh, and :jumphug:

    xx
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    (Original post by lauraa1)
    I basically just need to vent my fury and get some feedback really.

    Me and my friend had sex yesterday, it was my first time and he knew I was still a virgin. He told me he really likes some other girl but this did not stop him from having sex with me; he was the initiator!

    Before we had sex he was always texting me, wanting me to do things with him etc. As soon as we had done it, I instantly felt awful and knew instinctively that something had changed. 2 mins after we'd stopped, he said I should get my clothes on and, "i dont want to sound like i'm kicking you out but i'll walk you back to your car now"!!

    Now, i'm far from stupid and I turn 20 in a matter of weeks. This was something me and him had discussed doing since last June. Yet I feel like a cheap **** right now because he is treating me like one.

    He text me later that night to say 'sorry, I shouldn;t have let that happen. I feel like i took advantage of you. Can we just forget it?'

    This really hurts me as it was my first time and I though I could honestly trust him to be at least a little sensitive!

    Today at uni, he normally stands by the entrance of the lecture room but noticed I was there so stayed the furthest from me he could possibly be and stared out of the window - basically acting like I don't exist!

    My friends say he's not worth even thinking about and should just ignore him! But obviously thats not that easy.

    I would really appreciate some positive advice on how to move on from this/witty comebacks if he approaches me again/ or just a big virtual hug

    xx
    aw :hugs: - your friend's right he really isn't worth thinking about, wish i could say something that'd help just be more careful next time - and you'll find someone who'll deserve you
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    It's unfortunate, but you have to go through these things to live and learn
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    This has happened to me once or twice, I'm sorry to hear it happened to you.
    When it happened to me I'd grown attached to people it happened with, I guess it's just human nature, and then for them to brush it off as nothing is horrible =[

    But yes, I learnt from experience, and I now never sleep with anyone when I'm single (makes for no awkward one night stands!) and I'm very picky about who I do sleep with :]

    I hope you learn from this the same way I did, and time will help the feelings :] xx
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    We've all been there with a friend and it's horrible but I really feel for you with him being your first *hugs*

    I know it's hard but move on, put it down to experience and learn from it. We all need to make the mistakes to know not to do it again!

    I told the guy who did it to me exactly how I felt about it and him and then chose to ignore him when he decided things could be 'normal' again. He now works in the shop across the road from uni! Too funny...
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    For revenge, why not spread some "size" rumours... Might make you feel a bit better
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    Ignoring the female angst above, have you considered the possibility that he quickly realised he had made a mistake having sex with you and now feels awkward? Seriously, you are calling him a complete loser because he is using Facebook; do not get so worked up about it! What is more likely: he is being a complete **** or he feels guilty for not being able to reciprocate in the way you want? Even if he was a **** it is far more likely that he would keep sleeping with you, who wouldn't?, rather than sleeping with you once then dropping you.

    In summary: I doubt his behaviour is due to his dislike of you, but rather the way he feels. I would talk to him and say you know he feels uncomfortable but his behaviour is making you feel worse about what has happened too. Who knows you might even get together again; you picked him to lose your virginity to so he obviously means something to you.

    Good luck nevertheless and do not worry!
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    So you consented with him yet he is the one who used you? Right....
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    It's not really used. Did you like him or something?

    Two people can have sex you know without fancying each other.
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    (Original post by evantej)
    Ignoring the female angst above, have you considered the possibility that he quickly realised he had made a mistake having sex with you and now feels awkward? Seriously, you are calling him a complete loser because he is using Facebook; do not get so worked up about it! What is more likely: he is being a complete **** or he feels guilty for not being able to reciprocate in the way you want? Even if he was a **** it is far more likely that he would keep sleeping with you, who wouldn't?, rather than sleeping with you once then dropping you.

    In summary: I doubt his behaviour is due to his dislike of you, but rather the way he feels. I would talk to him and say you know he feels uncomfortable but his behaviour is making you feel worse about what has happened too. Who knows you might even get together again; you picked him to lose your virginity to so he obviously means something to you.

    Good luck nevertheless and do not worry!
    i agree with this tbh. She is exaggerating everything. Having sex once with someone does not mean using them. It's not even like the OP said no or as if the OP was taken advantage of while drunk.
    It's pathetic the amount of people judging the guy in the OP's sistuation. He probably feels awkward about it all unless he would keep on having sex with you.
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    (Original post by n0c0ntr0l)
    It's not really used. Did you like him or something?

    Two people can have sex you know without fancying each other.
    Not really? Not at all!
    She didn't say no and it seems like the boy is having second thoughts. She's going to be real heartbroken in the future if she thinks she's been used for sex in the context mentioned.
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    To me it sounds like he muffed that up. If it was your first time he could at least have been more sensitive about it. Even if he feels like you used you, he could have assumed the pretence that it was a good experience (regardless of how it went) instead of being a ******* and avoiding you like the plague. That way you wouldn't be in such a messed up state right now. Stop feeling bad about yourself OP. Move on.
 
 
 
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