Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Thank you all so much for sharing; it's really helped me and I'm glad it's helped other people too.

    I do feel as though there's a light at the end of the tunnel now; I just need to keep going. I've decided I really need to start a fresh and put everything behind me, but I need to sort myself out like i've been meaning to do for years. I am finally ready now though, but it's just a shame that it's gonna take up even more time. I feel like I've wasted so much already and I don't want to waste anymore, but I guess it's not wasting time if I actually do get through it this time.

    Does anyone else/has anyone else ever been scared that they won't know how to slot back into 'normal life'? i know that sounds silly, but I can't remember what it's like not to be depressed. Ugh, I sound like such an idiot. I'm positive, though.

    Incoming epic wall of text.

    When I was 11 I was bullied by my friends in secondary school. For about a year I put up with it but eventually it all became too much and I refused to go to school. Eventually I was sent to a school for bullied kids and diagnosed with depression. I put on prozac for the first time. In this school I did normal school work and over a couple of years I was eventually reintergrated into school in about year 9 it lasted a couple of weeks but it wasn't long before the bullying started again so I went back to the other school. At about 14 I did try to take my own life but luckily I failed.

    Fast forward another 3 years and while it was really hard for me I came out of the school with 7 B and C GCSES. I was terrified of going to college and had no idea what I wanted to do so I took a one year course of the only thing that I had any interest in at the time - computers. That year was pretty hard for me, I was even terrified of doing simple things like getting a bus to college but I did it.

    Fast forward another year and I'd joined a two year course for Games development and those two years really were the best. I came off the anti depressiants and gained some well needed confidence. Infact I maybe became too cocky.

    Anyhow in 2008 I applied for uni and got in, I went in september 08 but I was way in over my head. So I dropped out and fall back into depression, I was put back on prozac and had to decide what to with my life. I thought that I may want to go to uni the next year in 09. So I had to get my first ever job - I'd put it off before because I was really scared and didn't want to ever get one. However in my gap year I got a job. Yea it was hard and stressful at times but ultimately the job and the prozac put me on the right track and gave me a new outlook on life.I also got a lovely boyfriend (my ex now).

    I started uni again last September and I've never been happier to be honest. I'm still on the anti depressants but I'm coming off them within a few weeks. (I did not want to do it during the winter as the weather seems to affect me a lot). I've had a few ups and downs here but all has worked out well. I also have a wonderful boyfriend who I love dearly.

    In all honestly Depression has affected me on and off for about 8 or 9 years and while I wish it did not I feel I've done okay. When I dropped out at 11 I never thought I was get GCSEs let alone get a degree from a university. In some ways I am annoyed that I let it affect me like I did. I could have done higher papers at GCSEs and got aLevels rather than a BTEC. I was a smart kid and some bullies stopped me going to a better uni etc.

    In ending, you CAN overcome depression it doesn't have to be your live. Grab it and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

    PM if needed. x
    • #5

    About 10 months ago I felt as though I was at a 'point of no return'. I had left school in Year 10 due to stress, anxiety and depression and found no purpose to my life. Part of the reason for this sudden crash in emotion WAS due to me prolonging the idea that I was fine - acting like I was okay to everybody; even my parents. One day it all just came crashing down. I spent about 3 months being angry with myself, the world, anything. Denial was blocking my tunnel of light, and the counselling sessions I took weren't of my own choosing. Nonetheless, the counselling sessions really did help me to overcome my social fears (I've always been socially aware and confident, but I was always quite timid) and just my depression in general. Here I am, 9 months later, at a different school and ploughing on with life. Sure, my education took a hit but you know, so what? I'm fine, and I am more proud of myself every day and what I have achieved so far, and feel that I am in a MUCH better position, socially and in terms of being confident in myself, than I was at my old, high-pressured school.

    My one piece of advice to you is to admit your mistakes and move on. "It's not where you're from, it's where you're at". Only you can make the change. People can help, but you must decide to want to feel better. Good luck!
    • #6

    A few years ago i was properly depressed - i was very ugly, i was gay, i had a guy i'd been in love with for about 2 years who wasn't interested, i had tourettes and i was thick (failed my gcses). I always said that if just 1 of those areas of my life became fine i wouldn't be depressed anymore and that i was only depressed because everything was doomed to failure. I re-sat my gcses and put a proper amount of work in, getting mostly Cs. I then did my AS Levels and got mostly Bs. After getting mostly Bs i was no longer depressed and every so often i get days where i start feeling depressed in the same way over something but it only ever lasts a day - its not constant. And everything else is still the same - i'm still very ugly (moreso, in fact), i'm still gay (thats a given!), i'm still in love with that guy (although i've been slowing down my rate of talking to him over the past few months and its starting to help me in stopping thinking about him all the time) and i still have tourettes, but i no longer think i am thick and i'm confident i can get my place at university. So just having that 1 thing different means that i'm no longer depressed.


    I have never been depressed but I have had down days

    Some things I would suggest would be to

    a) Keep a daily gratitude journal listing everything that you are happy for in your life at that moment in time. The other day I filled mine in and listed "freedom" as something I was grateful for. Some of my entries have included "having little hands" "living in a great neighbourhood" It can range from the downright absurd to funny as it is something that you are personally grateful for
    b) When you wake up in the morning each day before you get out of bed or do anything else list down how you are feeling at that point in time. I do this whether I am happy or sad. If I am feeling sad, angry, tense etc and write this down I automatically get out of bed and act the opposite of what i have written down (sorry if this makes no sense but just try it and you will see what I mean)

    You will be amazed at the power of writing down whatever you feel. It is very cathartic
    • #7

    i've had depression since i was 12 and struggled with it till i was 16, before i even told a sole, literally thought i was crazy, battled with anxiety, paranoia, shaking, bulimia and generally feeling crap, and you know what there isnt even a specific reason why i worry, it just exists in me- took two years of councelling for the doctors to finally realise this, and that councelling was not needed but citralopram for the forseeable future, believe i just have a natural chemical imbalance, after a yr , yes a whole year- not two or three weeks, i broke out of the depression and all the other crap, and now im me again, like i was before it started again, im not just existing anymore but living my life and its awesome, you know what the best thing is, when people ask you how you are- and to be able to say im great- and it not to be a lie,is the best feeling in the world, citralopram all the way, councelling doesnt always work- and for me it was a load of tosh, .
    • #8

    had a friend who spent a few years of her teens diagnosed as depressed and on medication for it. She tried not to bother anyone about it or seek any help but we always helped when we could. about 2 years ago she fell in love with a guy who loves her also and been together with him being ridiculously happy ever since. from clinically depressed to so happy other people get jealous
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 4, 2010
What's the best type of cheese?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.