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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    Oh aye, and I'll certainly concur with that. But I also don't think that divorce (or indeed cohabitation, or other forms of relationship outside of marriage) is necessarily a bad thing, either.

    But yes, I don't think that divorce is always saving the children from some big awful traumatic home life, or that it is always a good thing for the child either.
    :adore:

    maybe i could have made my point clearer initially, or maybe people should stop being so sensitive about it and re-read it

    but yeah, you summed it up perfectly.
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    Often, parents who are unhappy and argue but stay together have a bad effect on their children.
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    (Original post by Spinnerette)
    Don't understand why that deserved a wtf but it is much better when two unhappy people divorce. It's much better sometimes for them split which is why I'm glad mine did I'd have hated it if they'd carried on any longer, just for the pretence of looking like a family.
    right look, re read it. "its not always better for them to divorce", youre talking specifically in cases where children witness the arguments and things that often go along with divorce, im simply stating children dont always witness this, and to call divorce a good thing on the basis that all children see this stuff is simply foolish.
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    (Original post by adamrules247)
    Cheers


    Can I have some rep :awesome:
    You whore!

    Repped you though.
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    People fall out of love all the time. Why should they be forced to stay together when they don't want to. You're presuming a two parent family is automatically 'stable' :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by TurkeyProphet)
    I think society in general needs to 'man up', if you're going to get divorced, fine. Just sort it out like an adult, not like some deranged lunatic that probably shouldn't be allowed children.
    Haha, yes.

    (Original post by tom//)
    :adore:

    maybe i could have made my point clearer initially, or maybe people should stop being so sensitive about it and re-read it

    but yeah, you summed it up perfectly.
    No, I think your point was perfectly clear - divorce is always a difficult issue, because people look at it far too subjectively and use circumstantial evidence. What you said made sense, no worries
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    Well yeah, because marriage for life can mean anywhere up to (and over) 60 years, with the life expectancy being around 75 at the moment - marriage for life used to mean twenty, thirty - perhaps forty years if you're lucky.
    And as I've said before - what's so wrong with people not being stuck in a partnership for life? Humans historically haven't been monogamous, and they don't fit the typical biological structure of monogamous animals, either.
    If we are not naturally monogamous, why do we start relationships at all then? :confused:
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    On another note, it's interesting to see how many people hate their fathers after divorce.

    It wasn't until recently that I started living with my Dad that I found he wasn't as evil as he was made out to be. Equally, more recently I have found out he is a bit of a jerk, but probably no more so than most of us. (okay maybe a little bit).

    But remember kids, half of you is your Dad's! So all the bad, nasty things you think about them, that is what you will grow up to become.
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    I'm a child of divorce, and I agree with the OP.

    Now I know that in many cases divorce does need to happen, and I don't think the OP ever denied that. But in most, parents can at least try to work things out.

    My parents separated when I was 7 but stayed married until they finally finished their divorce when I was 17. I hated them being separated, and I hate it even more now that they're divorced. I didn't like having my hopes built up and then crushed each time they toyed with the idea of getting back together, then falling apart in raging explosions of arguments. I didn't like having part time parents. I didn't like and still don't like having to choose which one I was going to spend a holiday with, and being guilted each time for my choice as the other spent the time alone. I don't like being the middleman or messenger for every single one of their endless financial disputes that are still going on, and being brutally punished if I take the wrong side of it. I don't like having to choose whose house to stay at when I come home from university and being practically banned from seeing the other parent.

    And the funny thing about it was that it didn't even need to happen. The problems they were having were easy fixes, but they let them get out of control. But instead, I truly did have a devastated, broken childhood. It wasn't better for me. And interestingly enough, both of their lives have subsequently gone to crap and they were much happier together.
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    (Original post by Areyoukidding?)
    It seems like every single person I speak to has split parents.

    I'm sick of hearing all this "it's better for the kids if we break up" crap - no it's not you retarded ****. It's better for the kids if you take some responsibility and work out your problems instead of doing the selfish thing and then trying to justify it in the name of your children.
    I won't unconditionally agree with you but there's more than a kernel of truth in what you have said.
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    (Original post by Joseph90)
    If we are not naturally monogamous, why do we start relationships at all then? :confused:
    Reproduction and partnership.
    But the 'parter for life' idea is a social construct (within humans, anyway - I fully accept that there are some animals who do mate for life).
    I'm not talking Mormon-type polygamy, and I don't fully support the Brave New World idea of people going round and mating with everybody; there isn't anything wrong with people forming close relationships that last for a long time, much like friendships but better - but I disagree with the idea that it needs to come from marriage and from a parter for life.
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    Divorce doesn't bother me. Bringing kids into unstable, ****** families does bother me.

    I couldn't give two ***** about childless couples divorcing.
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    tell me about it, my parents split up.
    Man i feel like going out slashing, stabbing and robbing old ladies...
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    Reproduction and partnership.
    But the 'parter for life' idea is a social construct (within humans, anyway - I fully accept that there are some animals who do mate for life).
    I'm not talking Mormon-type polygamy, and I don't fully support the Brave New World idea of people going round and mating with everybody; there isn't anything wrong with people forming close relationships that last for a long time, much like friendships but better - but I disagree with the idea that it needs to come from marriage and from a parter for life.
    i like your logic
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    I'm happy my parents aren't together.
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    (Original post by tom//)
    i agree with op, generally 2 parents are better than 1
    Most cases I know of [at least 9/10] this is true

    Some people are just frankly rather **** at being parents
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    (Original post by O-Ren)
    Well you obviously aren't a child of divorce. It you were you'd know it's MUCH BETTER for them to split and be happy.

    /thread
    This.

    I agree it can **** some kids up. Now, five years on from when my parents initiated separating... I still find myself incapable of letting the pain go. But I know I'd be far more miserable had they stayed together. If you truly love your parents, you'd find it even more painful to watch them be unhappy.

    OP you have the opposite social circle to me. All my friends, close and normal, about 95% have parents who are still together. And I admit I do feel jealous and miserable about it sometimes...
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    some problems cant be worked out though
    When did you have green gems?
    Don't tell me someone liked your ass?
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    (Original post by Joseph90)
    You whore!

    Repped you though.
    Cheers old boy, I havent had any in years.
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    My friends are not working class, and neither am I, so my parents are not divorced.
 
 
 
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