hey mate....2 years is a long time....here is what you do..and I really hope i am not wasting my time typing cos i hope u will follow my advice...afterall u asked for it......I want you to answer the folowing question.....has the 2 years been good?..Have u always been a good boyfriend?...if yes.....then GIVE HER SOME SPACE..no calls, no seeing her....just do your thing....she might think she needs some space but end up missing you......PLS GIVE HER SOME SPACE...both physically and emotionally......try to keep urself busy...hang out with friends, play soccer, or do something(Original post by Anonymous)
Please keep anon.
Ok, me and my girlfriend of 2 years have just broken up (about a week ago). She says "she doesn't feel the same way anymore" and "the things she likes about me don't make her as happy anymore and the things she dislikes about me irritate her more". Basically, I think it has got to the point where she feels fatigued by being in a relationship and found things too "intense" between us. Now, I'm not prepared to give up without a fight even thought she has told me to move on. She says I'm her best friend and doesn't want that to change. She still wants to see me all the time (and she means it - she's doing her best to find any excuse to hang out with me) and has said she wants "emotional space" rather than "physical space". We'd arranged to go travelling together at the end of uni and then live abroad together for an indefinite period of time and she says that she still wants to do that, even though I've told her I'm not sure if we're just friends.
The point: I still have feelings for her and I fail to see how it's possible for them go away if we maintain such a close relationship and the problems that will arise if she wants to start seeing other people (which she has said she doesn't atm). Obviously this isn't a bad thing if we get back together but I'm realistic enough to realise that might not happen.
Any comments or advice? What's the best way to play it? I feel like if I give her space she might realise how much she misses me and want to give things a second go. I want us to remain friends whatever happens but I'm not sure if I can handle that... at least not until I'm 100% over her. What should I do? I miss her so much when we're apart but when I'm hanging out with her, it tears me up that we're no longer a couple and I can't have physical contact with her.
However, if you werent a good boyfriend, then there are two possibilities.....1. you might be loosing her , for real or 2. she is hoping you will probably be a better bf by telling you she doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore..........
I guess it all depends on how the 2 years was...gluck pal...iknow it is hard.....I hate falling in love .....I was once in a 3 yr relationship.....it was crazy ending it...
I guess whatever you do should be based on the past 2 years...has the relationship been good?...then go from there...good luck dude....2 years is a pretty long time...not too long though....but i know it might be hard.....
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Getting her back watch
- 04-02-2010 21:48
- 04-02-2010 23:32
Just give her some space, dude. Sounds like the best idea.
- Thread Starter
(Original post by int_applicant)
- 04-02-2010 23:32
has the 2 years been good?..Have u always been a good boyfriend?
- Thread Starter
- 07-02-2010 20:07
Ok, well I'm meeting up for her a drink on thursday night (hopefully no contact until then). Don't really know what to say but I think we've done more than enough talking about "us" and most of it has been initiated by me. My plan is basically just to go along and act like everything is just fine and see how things go - show her that i'm doing just fine and maybe remind her of what a great guy I am . I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't bring "us" up at all though? She seems to be doing her best to not think about us. Apparantly she's been going out all the time - doing anything and everything not to spend time alone etc.
I don't know what to do. Anybody want to offer anymore advice? I miss her and still want us to give it a second crack but I'm no longer in a ridiculous state of "pining" so I don't think it'll be too hard to hold it together when we meet.
- 11-02-2010 16:32
I'm in a very similar position to you now with my ex, I do all the talking about 'us', he seems to be ignoring the whole situation. Although i find it impossible to do this myself, I would stick to your plan of seeing how things go. Even if she doesn't bring up the topic at the time, afterwards she will be thinking about you as a couple, and will hopefully be reminded why she liked you in the first place. Good luck.
- 11-02-2010 17:20
Ill be blunt, move on or youll mess your head up. Trust me i know