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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    You're obviously not chilled; you majorly overreacted to Double Agent's post, which was a fair comment.
    You say you're not a player, but I would be prepared to bet that there's not that many girls out there that wouldn't regret a ONS unless they are a bit on the ****gish/insecure sides themselves - so there has been potential for you to upset girls in the past if you screw them and leave.
    You come across as really insecure, and a bit of a wuss tbh. Guess what, welcome to real life and actual dating and relationships, where you may get let down after a few texts or after years of being together. Have the confidence and actual relaxed enough attitude to just go with the flow with it all.
    Fair comment? In what way was it fair comment? I've seen him post a few times now and they are all dismissive short posts sometimes just pictures. If you really think that can some up someone's emotions on such a subject I'm sorry but you are deluded.

    I'm not a player as I ask every single woman what they are interested in, I've always been like that and I don't bring any false pretences, also it's not like I'm out all the time trying to get laid.

    You believe you can speak for all women in that if you have a one night stand you should feel ****gish? If two people enjoy an intimate night in each others company whether that be sexual or other but just want it to be that night then where exactly is the "****gish" part in that? I think you are too quick to stereotype people and this is evidenced in your assumptions of me based on a post that a lot of people would and indeed have in this thread read a different way.

    A bit of a wuss? Well that just shows your level of maturity right there. For whatever it matters I do martial arts am let's say quite tall and am constantly told I'm someone people wouldn't want to fight with, but year I'm a bit of a wuss because I'm human and secure enough to air my feelings.

    Welcome to real relationships? Again do you know me? Do you know who I've been with, whether I've been engaged, married? Do you know how serious I have been in any of these relationships?

    Do me a favour, next time you get on your soapbox and try and right the wrongs of everyone but yourself take a look in the mirror, get over yourself and don't judge someone and their whole life up to that point on less than a page of A4, then MAYBE I'll take life advice off you.

    You're 21, believe me you don't have it all sussed yet and if you think you do you're in for a big shock.
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    (Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
    Silly, poetic, pretentious, I know where to come to for my eulogy.
    Blates your intention to be a little bit poet there then...
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    You're obviously not chilled; you majorly overreacted to Double Agent's post, which was a fair comment.
    You say you're not a player, but I would be prepared to bet that there's not that many girls out there that wouldn't regret a ONS unless they are a bit on the ****gish/insecure sides themselves - so there has been potential for you to upset girls in the past if you screw them and leave.
    You come across as really insecure, and a bit of a wuss tbh. Guess what, welcome to real life and actual dating and relationships, where you may get let down after a few texts or after years of being together. Have the confidence and relaxed enough attitude to just go with the flow with it all, because atm you don't seem to have that and that is why you are struggling with the more mature emotional side of being with someone.
    a girl having ONS and not feeling any regrets makes her ****gish or insecure? :facepalm:
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    (Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
    This place has a strange affect in that hearing tales of woe, misery and occasional happiness you feel the need to share your own inane ramblings. So here it goes

    I met a girl last week and spent the night at hers. There was some physical connection as was the plan but the old "I'm on the pill" wasn't enough for mr Idiot and his lost rubbers, so we didn't have intercourse (how hot is that when you are posh about it eh phwoar)

    Anyway I've been with women in the past but usually I'm just about the end game, I put that down to my own insecurities in commitment issues and the fact it's just easier to "love em and leave em", that and I find it hard to make emotional connections with women.

    So in this case I spent the night and when it was time to get lost in the morning I just wanted to stay, so I did and it felt like neither of us wanted to leave the bed, seriously it's a long time since I wanted to just let the world go by and hold someone and it felt so weird to feel like this after one night.

    We've been in contact all week but she seems to be into this texting lark and I can't be assed with it I'd rather talk to her on the phone. Nevertheless given how I feel about her I made the effort and have been texting back all week.

    I've had the drunk messages and the sober ones and we talked that night and there is no way this girl is not as in to me as I am into her by what I've seen, heard and felt. Yet all of a sudden the messages stopped yesterday and I feel like the insecure kid who should have left in the morning before she woke up again even though I don't want to be that person.

    You see what you do to us if we're honest ladies?

    So there it is my tale of slight misery based on opening myself up and feeling vulnerable.

    I reckon she'll text back and we're supposed to be going out this weekend but is it any wonder lads can be the way we can when it's just so much EASIER.

    Then again, when was anything in life worth having ever easy?

    hey..pal...i am not going to be mean and rude like the other replies......here is what you do....dont worry about her....if she stoped texting u, its okay...u dnt want to come across as needy.....maybe she is busy?..look i know it is hard..but dont worry about her texting..and pls DO NOT TEX|T HER EITHER...and even if she sends u a text later, DO NOT REPLY......look it is kinda still early, so if she really likes you, she will chase u.......keep urself occupied so u don't think about her.....the key to getting her is to keep her guessing.....u want to play hard to get at this stage....if she likes you, she will chase you..if she doesn't, then u have to let it go....gluck pal and keep us updated
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    (Original post by int_applicant)
    hey..pal...i am not going to be mean and rude like the other replies......here is what you do....dont worry about her....if she stoped texting u, its okay...u dnt want to come across as needy.....maybe she is busy?..look i know it is hard..but dont worry about her texting..and pls DO NOT TEX|T HER EITHER...and even if she sends u a text later, DO NOT REPLY......look it is kinda still early, so if she really likes you, she will chase u.......keep urself occupied so u don't think about her.....the key to getting her is to keep her guessing.....u want to play hard to get at this stage....if she likes you, she will chase you..if she doesn't, then u have to let it go....gluck pal and keep us updated
    Cheers mate. I had no intention of texting her and didn't and she just text me before. I know what you are saying about playing hard to get but I'm already got in that we are going out again this weekend.

    Now I've just got to decide if we go for a meal before we go to this nice club I know (not really loud, very stylish but not in a ****** way and quite intimate in its setup).

    Thanks for the reply though and getting the spirit in which the thread was intended.
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    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    a girl having ONS and not feeling any regrets makes her ****gish or insecure? :facepalm:
    OMG read my post properly - I said UNLESS they are ****gish/insecure and are wanting that kind of attention, then most girls will feel some regret, even if the most smallest bit. Or maybe that's just me. But I wasn't at all saying any girl who has a ONS is a ****.
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    (Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
    You believe you can speak for all women in that if you have a one night stand you should feel ****gish? I think you are too quick to stereotype people and this is evidenced in your assumptions of me based on a post that a lot of people would and indeed have in this thread read a different way
    I didn't say that at all and I clarified this for you and 9MmBulletz in a reply to him. Read my post properly before saying **** like that yourself.

    (Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
    A bit of a wuss? Well that just shows your level of maturity right there. For whatever it matters I do martial arts am let's say quite tall and am constantly told I'm someone people wouldn't want to fight with, but year I'm a bit of a wuss because I'm human and secure enough to air my feelings.
    Again, totally not getting what I said. Calling a wuss was nothing to do with your supposed physical attributes - it was in reference to the fact that you seemingly can't handle the slightest bit of emotional happenings with this girl.

    Basically, you really need to calm the **** down about all this.
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    (Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
    Cheers mate. I had no intention of texting her and didn't and she just text me before. I know what you are saying about playing hard to get but I'm already got in that we are going out again this weekend.

    Now I've just got to decide if we go for a meal before we go to this nice club I know (not really loud, very stylish but not in a ****** way and quite intimate in its setup).

    Thanks for the reply though and getting the spirit in which the thread was intended.

    hey pal....cancel the date.....this is kinda a risk..but this will let u know if she is really into u...although u will seem like a jerk initially, but in the long run, u will have an idea if she likes u or not...call her and let her know u will not be not be able to make it becos something came up.....if she likes u, then trust me, she is goin to think about u all day and how much of a "jerk" u are....but dnt worry, thats a good thing....that means she probably likes u...then call her later in the week to schedule for another time...if she agrees, then u are in pal.....u got her pal.....for real....cancel the date..........
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    OMG read my post properly - I said UNLESS they are ****gish/insecure and are wanting that kind of attention, then most girls will feel some regret, even if the most smallest bit. Or maybe that's just me. But I wasn't at all saying any girl who has a ONS is a ****.
    but you're implying that not feeling any regret makes you ****gish/insecure?
    how?
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    I didn't say that at all and I clarified this for you and 9MmBulletz in a reply to him. Read my post properly before saying **** like that yourself.

    I don't see any reason for a girl to feel in the slightest bit "****gish" for it, I think that's more about *****y comments from other people but whatever, I'm happy to leave that be given you said that maybe it's just you. Maybe I misread your post as you did mine.



    Again, totally not getting what I said. Calling a wuss was nothing to do with your supposed physical attributes - it was in reference to the fact that you seemingly can't handle the slightest bit of emotional happenings with this girl.

    Is it any wonder that so many young men are on here wondering wtf they are supposed to be doing/saying etc when if you are cool about things you are a player and if you care about things you're a wuss. Maybe the reason I like this girl is because she isn't full of ****, sexually aggressive enough to know what she wants but still want a man to take control but soft and sweet enough to be able to enjoy the emotional connection that comes before and after.

    Basically, you really need to calm the **** down about all this.
    I need to calm down? This is my thread about my feelings, it's you that felt so involved as a need to cross examine me in a supercilious way not vice versa.

    Basically you need to stop giving out advice as if you know it all. If you would care to suggest something in a friendly manner then sound, till then well allow me to come back with the same attitude you are showing towards me.

    Do one.
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    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    but you're implying that not feeling any regret makes you ****gish/insecure?
    how?
    By saying in my post that you obviously haven't read properly - again - 'maybe that's just me'.

    Its my ******* opinion - if you're going to respond read my posts properly. In any case - its not like this is going anywhere, so I'm not wasting my time on this anymore.
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    i agree with the idea of her phone being out of battery, i'm like that, sometimes if my phone's out of battery i just leave it until i can be bothered. sooo many things could have happened along that sort of line, and when you think about it she's probably secretly kicking herself wherever she is.
    although, and don't take this the wrong way at all, she may have panicked that she got so close to you so quickly. in which case it would have very little to do with you, but the fact that she may feel you won't respect her or anything for sleeping with you the night you met. she may also be thinking you're just in it for sex, (i'm not saying you are, but girls sometimes think like this), and she may also just be scared because you guys got close pretty quickly... and already gone all the way, so there's no surprises left really in a way. i dunno, for some girls the chase is the best part, she might want that. and she may feel by blanking you for a bit she's injecting a bit of mystery into it all? i did a **** job of explaining i'm sorry, but don't worry too much about it basically. none of that would have happened if she didn't care, if she was going to bugger off it would have been pretty much the day after when neither of you are drunk and if she was going to be embarrassed by it, it would be at that point when you're next to her in her bed and she's thinking... '*****'
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    (Original post by int_applicant)
    hey pal....cancel the date.....this is kinda a risk..but this will let u know if she is really into u...although u will seem like a jerk initially, but in the long run, u will have an idea if she likes u or not...call her and let her know u will not be not be able to make it becos something came up.....if she likes u, then trust me, she is goin to think about u all day and how much of a "jerk" u are....but dnt worry, thats a good thing....that means she probably likes u...then call her later in the week to schedule for another time...if she agrees, then u are in pal.....u got her pal.....for real....cancel the date..........
    While I understand where you are coming from I really don't want to play games, I just want to be honest about my feelings and see where it goes. So what if it makes me vulnerable and it doesn't work out so be it. I've already had to move the date location and time and she was fine with that but that was due to genuine reasons.
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    (Original post by pheebs101)
    i agree with the idea of her phone being out of battery, i'm like that, sometimes if my phone's out of battery i just leave it until i can be bothered. sooo many things could have happened along that sort of line, and when you think about it she's probably secretly kicking herself wherever she is.
    although, and don't take this the wrong way at all, she may have panicked that she got so close to you so quickly. in which case it would have very little to do with you, but the fact that she may feel you won't respect her or anything for sleeping with you the night you met. she may also be thinking you're just in it for sex, (i'm not saying you are, but girls sometimes think like this), and she may also just be scared because you guys got close pretty quickly... and already gone all the way, so there's no surprises left really in a way. i dunno, for some girls the chase is the best part, she might want that. and she may feel by blanking you for a bit she's injecting a bit of mystery into it all? i did a **** job of explaining i'm sorry, but don't worry too much about it basically. none of that would have happened if she didn't care, if she was going to bugger off it would have been pretty much the day after when neither of you are drunk and if she was going to be embarrassed by it, it would be at that point when you're next to her in her bed and she's thinking... '*****'
    I think you did a better job than you think. Hell even I don't overthink stuff that much. :p:

    As I already said earlier in the post she's got back to me now so it's all good.
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    (Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
    While I understand where you are coming from I really don't want to play games, I just want to be honest about my feelings and see where it goes. So what if it makes me vulnerable and it doesn't work out so be it. I've already had to move the date location and time and she was fine with that but that was due to genuine reasons.

    OK...Ok..OK...well i guess i respect the way you feel.....i really hope this works out well......u seem very much into this girl..pls just dont show it too much and its ok to be vulnerable...but dont be too vulnerable cos it will not work if you are too vulnerable...she might take u for granted......anyways..pls ping me and keep me updated...u sound like a nice guy and i really hope she will not take u for granted....gluck pal....
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    Ppppppppppuuuuuuuuussssssssssyyy yyyyyyyyyy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ppppppppppuuuuuuuuussssssssssyyy yyyyyyyyyy
    dont be rude...he is not a pussy...he just likes her a lot...there is nothing wrong with that...although i am a little worried about OP becoming too vulnerable, but i have to respect his choice.......i just think he is probably coming across as needy.....i really wish he could cancel the date but again..i respect his views........gluck OP
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    By saying in my post that you obviously haven't read properly - again - 'maybe that's just me'.

    Its my ******* opinion - if you're going to respond read my posts properly. In any case - its not like this is going anywhere, so I'm not wasting my time on this anymore.
    fair enough.
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    See you next Tuesday.
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    (Original post by int_applicant)
    hey pal....cancel the date.....this is kinda a risk..but this will let u know if she is really into u...although u will seem like a jerk initially, but in the long run, u will have an idea if she likes u or not...call her and let her know u will not be not be able to make it becos something came up.....if she likes u, then trust me, she is goin to think about u all day and how much of a "jerk" u are....but dnt worry, thats a good thing....that means she probably likes u...then call her later in the week to schedule for another time...if she agrees, then u are in pal.....u got her pal.....for real....cancel the date..........
    Just from a female perspective, from someone in a very similar situation as you...do this kinda thing at your peril! Being messed around is a waste of time and pretty annoying from anyone over the age of 18. Plus if contact is made and a date arranged you can be pretty sure she at least wants to spend more time with you. Just see how things go from there
 
 
 
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