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Socially neglected?

Anon/delete please.

I swear people seem to take a disliking in me as soon as possible. I mean, whenever I meet new people, ofc there are some diff situations, but usually this happens, they don't seem to be interested in me, and i try hard to initiate conversations, etc. I smile alot and try to be friendly all the time, yet people don't seem to want to be friends with me. Am i just not friend material?

I am averge looking I think, i dont feel like i am ignorant or stuck up.... i am friendly to everyone yet i just don't know why i repell people.

Reply 1

YannTouchable

12

LOL you're in London aren't you?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

YannTouchable

LOL you're in London aren't you?

No

monobrow

YannTouchable

LOL you're in London aren't you?

hehe what a stereotype!

Reply 5

elldee

1

I'm sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, only you are not very confident.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

elldee

I'm sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, only you are not very confident.

Why? Do people not want to be friends with someone inconfident? :s-smilie:

Reply 7

+ polarity -

21

Anonymous

Why? Do people not want to be friends with someone inconfident? :s-smilie:

When people see someone who is not confident in themselves, they may sort of gloss over them. I mean, if you don't want to be with yourself (which 'inconfidence' would suggest, sort of :s-smilie:

), why would anyone else?

:wink2:

Reply 8

LittleBill

10

Anonymous

Why? Do people not want to be friends with someone inconfident? :s-smilie:

No. Just generally harder to get to know someone who lacks confidence. Conversation tends to be difficult and can feel uncomfortable, people don't take a shine to that.

Reply 9

Cypriots

12

Don't try to hard to make friends.

Reply 10

alixxxxxx1

1

perhaps its something small like you never smile or something. Typical traits that people tend to like in a person are that they smile a lot, can have a laugh, are quite laid back, can have the piss taken out of them (a bit!) and are just generally fun to be around. I would say think about some of these things and whether you think you do them, maybe you don't so just try being a bit more relaxed. a good idea aswell is to try and talk to people one-on-one aswell rather then just in a group; this way, the individuals may all grow to like you and then the whole group will

Reply 11

elldee

1

Anonymous

Why? Do people not want to be friends with someone inconfident? :s-smilie:

People are a bit crappy like that. If they see that your a little quiet sometimes they'll presume your boring or having nothing to offer as a friend. Just be nice, smile at people and soon enough people will warm to you. Also often people who aren't very confident don't realise it but they can appear self-absorbed and occasionally a bit snooty, when in reality they are just trying to disguise their insecurity. Try and appear more welcoming and happy, you'll reap the benefits soon enough even if it is a pretense for a while.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

elldee

People are a bit crappy like that. If they see that your a little quiet sometimes they'll presume your boring or having nothing to offer as a friend. Just be nice, smile at people and soon enough people will warm to you. Also often people who aren't very confident don't realise it but they can appear self-absorbed and occasionally a bit snooty, when in reality they are just trying to disguise their insecurity. Try and appear more welcoming and happy, you'll reap the benefits soon enough even if it is a pretense for a while.

Thank you, i understand. However i find some confident people are self absorbed too ....

Reply 13

elldee

1

Anonymous

Thank you, i understand. However i find some confident people are self absorbed too ....

Yeah everyone can be a little self absorbed at times the difference between the extroverted confident types is that they will go out and actively speak to people and form new friendships as their self absorbedness manifests itself in confidence and self assurance (might be a huge generalisation but it sort of fits in common sense terms). Whilst the quiet introverted types, their self absorbedness manifests itself in selfconsciousness and self criticism (again, just a presumption, only what empathy and common sense tells me, may not always be the case).

Reply 14

SweelCookie307

1

Don't care for them if they aren't interested in you...maybe you are only in perdufunctory society or you'll have luck in other things in life than in finding "looong" friendships

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 15

Spudgem2061

7

Making friends is difficult I find because a lot of people already have their own routines and groups. You often have to have something with a lot of talking points in common, or be friends of circumstance by work/classes already to build something strong enough to last.

I mainly hang out on Discord in the evenings with my group from college. If you look around on the internet a lot of people have servers people can just join and hang out in, but that's only really if you're in to online games I guess.

My advice really would be not to think to much about it. Don't try too hard, but at the same time don't pass up on little opportunities that come up like sharing lunch or seeing a film.

Socially neglected?

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