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Boyfriend going to Afghanistan, advice? watch

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    I've been in an official relationship with an RAF policeman for only a short time, after seeing each other casually for a while. Today suddenly he was told that he will be going to Afghanistan in March and training starts this weekend...so as you can imagine I was quite shocked!! And pretty upset. As a general rule, I wouldn't date someone in the forces in case they were deployed, but I thought that since he was pretty settled in his job at the base and there aren't a great number of RAF out there anyway, we'd be pretty safe...obviously I was wrong, but it's his job and I respect that.

    I saw him today and asked him if we were going to break up, because 2 months (then another 2 months later in the year) apart from each other, with him under so much stress, isn't a great situation for the start of a relationship. But he said he definitely doesn't want to lose me, wants to be more than friends and wants to know that he has somebody who cares for him back at home. He also told me for the first time that he loves me.

    I'm finding the concept of being without him for so long and him being somewhere so dangerous and so far away really hard to deal with. I'm still in that early honeymoon period with him. Plus he had so little notice! I hope I'm doing the right thing in staying with him, because part of me worries that things would be easier for him if he was unattached when he went away. Also, I want to know how to be the very best girlfriend and be there for him. And for the next month what should we try and do? Allow the relationship to develop or gradually pull away?

    Am I doing the right thing? And how can I support him before and during his time there?
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    fingers crossed, legs closed.
    easy.
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    (Original post by HumorousGent.)
    fingers crossed, legs closed.
    easy.

    This.
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    I feel for you :console: I'm kinda the same, I wouldn't go for a forces guy for that reason, though these things happen.
    It's like my worst nightmare :o:

    Can you send him letters? I'm sure he'd appreciate that :yep:

    Apart from that, 'legs closed' and make some time for him when he gets back. :yep:
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    I can't believe anyone even said legs closed!!
    Obviously!!
    Surely even someone with no morals whatsoever would not cheat on someone in Afghan...eugh.

    So today we found out it's not the end of March...it's the very start of March...so I have less than a month left with him
    Can anyone think of what to buy him for Valentine's Day or things I can buy to take with him?
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    what u mean..."would not cheat on someone in Afghan...eugh."
    have some respect, just cos u dont live in a third world country...doesn't mean u can **** Afghani women off
    loser.
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    (Original post by TheSpecialOne)
    what u mean..."would not cheat on someone in Afghan...eugh."
    have some respect, just cos u dont live in a third world country...doesn't mean u can **** Afghani women off
    loser.
    Cheat on someone when you're at home when they are serving in Afghanistan...I would have thought that was pretty much self explanatory!
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    Wow, yes, that would be very tough. I'd imagine for him it would be too much I think if he really likes you then it's great for him to know there's someone back home who really cares for him (although I'm sure his family and all do care for him etc.). I'd try to stay with him if I were you but obviously it won't be easy and I think only someone who has gone through the same experience can really advise you.

    Good luck though. How long have you two been together though? I'd think maybe a nice picture or album (if possible) would be nice so he could take it with him when he does go.
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    Support your boyfriend when he needs you in the knowledge that he would do the same for you.

    Also, its your patriotic duty anyway.
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    R.I.P, tell him theres no point of going there (Literally) and that its literally of a waste of life and time as nothing productive is going on in afghanistan, even if he does come back, just so you know, the highest suicide rates come from veterans who cannot get over the experiences they had, so i would actually say he's quite stupid unless he changes his mind realises his fault before its too late.
    GL
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been in an official relationship with an RAF policeman for only a short time, after seeing each other casually for a while. Today suddenly he was told that he will be going to Afghanistan in March and training starts this weekend...so as you can imagine I was quite shocked!! And pretty upset. As a general rule, I wouldn't date someone in the forces in case they were deployed, but I thought that since he was pretty settled in his job at the base and there aren't a great number of RAF out there anyway, we'd be pretty safe...obviously I was wrong, but it's his job and I respect that.

    I saw him today and asked him if we were going to break up, because 2 months (then another 2 months later in the year) apart from each other, with him under so much stress, isn't a great situation for the start of a relationship. But he said he definitely doesn't want to lose me, wants to be more than friends and wants to know that he has somebody who cares for him back at home. He also told me for the first time that he loves me.

    I'm finding the concept of being without him for so long and him being somewhere so dangerous and so far away really hard to deal with. I'm still in that early honeymoon period with him. Plus he had so little notice! I hope I'm doing the right thing in staying with him, because part of me worries that things would be easier for him if he was unattached when he went away. Also, I want to know how to be the very best girlfriend and be there for him. And for the next month what should we try and do? Allow the relationship to develop or gradually pull away?

    Am I doing the right thing? And how can I support him before and during his time there?


    2 months isnt that big a-deal.........loads of ppl do it while they're at uni

    i know while ppl are at uni there isnt that relatviely high risk of them dying, but still
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    Hi, my best friend went to afgan last year! it was awful for all his friends and family back home and we worried constantly but the best thing you can do for him, is be at the other end of the phone, send letters and care packages with treats and luxuries in and most important of all be patient with him. he cant ring every day and hes goin to see a lot of crap out there thats guna affect him. We cant imagine what they go through out there

    my friend came back with an 'angry at the world' attitude but we understood and gave hiim time.

    Hope my advice helps.
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    (Original post by najeezy)
    R.I.P, tell him theres no point of going there (Literally) and that its literally of a waste of life and time as nothing productive is going on in afghanistan, even if he does come back, just so you know, the highest suicide rates come from veterans who cannot get over the experiences they had, so i would actually say he's quite stupid unless he changes his mind realises his fault before its too late.
    GL
    Firstly, it's not his choice. He must go where he is told to go by those in charge...he's been in the RAF for 2 years...there is no option to say no.
    Secondly, don't assume that everyone who goes agrees with what is going on. He doesn't believe that our country should be fighting in Afghanistan, but if you're in the forces, you have to do what the forces are doing, it's his job.
    And as for the suicide rate stuff, he's going to be working as security checking bags...I didn't exactly say he was frontline.
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    Tell him he's a Hero.
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    (Original post by bekio)
    Hi, my best friend went to afgan last year! it was awful for all his friends and family back home and we worried constantly but the best thing you can do for him, is be at the other end of the phone, send letters and care packages with treats and luxuries in and most important of all be patient with him. he cant ring every day and hes goin to see a lot of crap out there thats guna affect him. We cant imagine what they go through out there

    my friend came back with an 'angry at the world' attitude but we understood and gave hiim time.

    Hope my advice helps.
    Thank you. I'm going to do my best!!
    May I ask what your friend did there?
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    RAF police never go outside the wire of KAF or Bastion. Hell be fine, its more dangerous in big cities than in KAF or Bastion. The only RAF that are put in any danger in afghan are the aircrew and the RAF regiment, and even then very few of them cop it. Your bf will be fine.
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    abandon all hope of seeing him again.
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    (Original post by almasy)
    abandon all hope of seeing him again.
    LOL!
    how nasty
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. I'm going to do my best!!
    May I ask what your friend did there?
    He was an engineer x
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    I know a girl who slept with someone while her boyf was in afghan. It was one of my mates, I'd have ******* punched him if he knew, but she didn't say a thing til afterwards. Needless to say not cool!
 
 
 
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