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Boyfriend going to Afghanistan, advice? watch

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    Gotta love the sappers!
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    Some people really are so heartless! I'm sorry about those idiotic people who obviously have no thought or sympathy, or even gratefulness for those going to Afghan to fight for our country. [email protected]!
    One of my friend's boyfriend went out to Afghan late last year and he is on the frontline. She was only with him a few month, maybe 3 or 4, before he went away. She was torn between either decision but told him she would still be there for him when he got back. She was an emotional wreck at the beginning but knew he could take care of himself and would fight for his country, whether she was there or not, so she couldn't turn her back on him. They spoke on the phone whenever he could, and he came home as often as he could to be with her. He's been out there 80% of the time since he was first deployed. They are still together, and on his last trip home he proposed to her.
    Sometimes when they aren't working they're allowed access to the internet so you can also e-mail him / talk to him on social networking sites such as facebook etc if he's able to do this. Otherwise you will be able to send him letters and talk to him on the phone. Two months might seem like a lot of time when you are still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship but you will cope with it. Not meaning to be harsh but if he can deal with some of the sites you see in the forces then you can deal with being apart from him. If you think there's something worth staying in the relationship for I definately reccommend staying with him for the duration, if you don't, then there's not much point giving him false hope. Like I say, my friend is now engaged, and I think it's because being out there makes people realise whats important.

    Hope this helps

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    I'd suggest seriously questioning whether or not you're willing to stand by what could be quite a difficult relationship to maintain (assuming he's going to be doing this regularly), especially since you haven't been dating him very long. The worst thing you can do is change your mind while he's away, so it's best to be sure that you definitely are going to stay with him, so he knows the status quo before he deploys.
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    Your boyfriend most probably really wants to go, you'd be mad to join the military if you didn't want to get deployed; it's important that you respect his wishes, this is a big time for him and you. He clearly likes you very much, and very often the men and women out there need to know they have someone at home waiting for them, it keeps them sane and merely thinking about them can be a real mood-lightener (is that a word?)

    This is a time when he needs you badly, stay by his side and he'll be back before you know it.

    Send him best wishes, and I hope you cope fine, I'm sure you will!
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    Send letters, stay loyal. Send him stuff, etc.
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    The RAF may be able to offer some suport, though that may only be if you were married.
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    :hugs: Don't listen to half the pillocks on here.
    Pretty much what Bekio and Rachelleigh91 said regarding what to do whilst he's out there but don't forget about yourself in this equation, make sure you've got your own support network of friends/family/whatever.
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    i'm in the same position. sucks doesn't it. there's not a lot you can do to be honest. i'm proud of what he's going to be doing. all you can do is sit tight&hope for the best.
    if it's meant to be, it'll work out.
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    Well as to what present you can give him, well the only thing he will want is time spent with you. When he's gone write loads and loads. Don't wait for a reply just keep sending letters and photos. Knowing that you haven't been forgotten is the main thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, it's not his choice. He must go where he is told to go by those in charge...he's been in the RAF for 2 years...there is no option to say no.
    Secondly, don't assume that everyone who goes agrees with what is going on. He doesn't believe that our country should be fighting in Afghanistan, but if you're in the forces, you have to do what the forces are doing, it's his job.
    And as for the suicide rate stuff, he's going to be working as security checking bags...I didn't exactly say he was frontline.
    Leave the raf?
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    I would be worried about it, because I heard Afghan girls are hot
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been in an official relationship with an RAF policeman for only a short time, after seeing each other casually for a while. Today suddenly he was told that he will be going to Afghanistan in March and training starts this weekend...so as you can imagine I was quite shocked!! And pretty upset. As a general rule, I wouldn't date someone in the forces in case they were deployed, but I thought that since he was pretty settled in his job at the base and there aren't a great number of RAF out there anyway, we'd be pretty safe...obviously I was wrong, but it's his job and I respect that.

    I saw him today and asked him if we were going to break up, because 2 months (then another 2 months later in the year) apart from each other, with him under so much stress, isn't a great situation for the start of a relationship. But he said he definitely doesn't want to lose me, wants to be more than friends and wants to know that he has somebody who cares for him back at home. He also told me for the first time that he loves me.

    I'm finding the concept of being without him for so long and him being somewhere so dangerous and so far away really hard to deal with. I'm still in that early honeymoon period with him. Plus he had so little notice! I hope I'm doing the right thing in staying with him, because part of me worries that things would be easier for him if he was unattached when he went away. Also, I want to know how to be the very best girlfriend and be there for him. And for the next month what should we try and do? Allow the relationship to develop or gradually pull away?

    Am I doing the right thing? And how can I support him before and during his time there?
    yer you should support him but as an raf policeman he's probably not going to leave kandahar air base anyway so there's not much chance of anything happening to him and it's only a short deployment so he won't be away for long.
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    Thank you for all of the thoughtful and kind replies.
    I'd like to stress that I'm really glad his posting is probably one of the safest jobs he could be doing out there, and obviously although it's a dangerous country anyway, he could be in a much much worse situation. I'm more generally concerned for him, he's scared and I don't blame him, and I'm going to miss him SO much!
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    (Original post by najeezy)
    Leave the raf?
    On what grounds?.


    Anyway, OP send him letters, gifts anything to remind him that you are thinking of him and will be waiting for him to come home. My husband was in the RAF, he never went to war though, but I used to send him letters, cards, little gifts every day. 2 months isnt that long in the grand space of things, he will be home before you know it.

    Its already been said, but make sure you have friends and family that you can talk to should you want to, its going to be hard for you too as well as your boyfriend.
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    Best of luck for his tour and remember to keep your head down and chin up, both of you
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    Just stand by him - make sure you keep lots of contact with him and let him know he's a hero no matter what he's doing out there
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    I'm so sorry to hear that :hugs: Ignore the pillocks saying 'it's not a big deal' or 'it's fine, it's not like he's front line' because they don't have a clue :rolleyes:

    My Dad is being deployed to Aghanistan at the end of April, he's on the training now. Best thing you can do to get through it is take each day as it's own, one day at a time and just remember, it's not forever. If he's going to have access to the internet, why don't you set up a blog for him that you can update for when he can't phone? 2 months is only 8 weeks, you can take it slow and you'll probably get to speak to him at least twice a week, so that's what, 16 phone calls? Easy peasy :yy:
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    (Original post by Fear Nothing)
    Best of luck for his tour and remember to keep your head down and chin up, both of you
    Thank you, very much
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I'm so sorry to hear that :hugs: Ignore the pillocks saying 'it's not a big deal' or 'it's fine, it's not like he's front line' because they don't have a clue :rolleyes:

    My Dad is being deployed to Aghanistan at the end of April, he's on the training now. Best thing you can do to get through it is take each day as it's own, one day at a time and just remember, it's not forever. If he's going to have access to the internet, why don't you set up a blog for him that you can update for when he can't phone? 2 months is only 8 weeks, you can take it slow and you'll probably get to speak to him at least twice a week, so that's what, 16 phone calls? Easy peasy :yy:
    Hehe thanks. Best wishes to your Dad
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    Just be there for him when he needs you.
    Oh and maybe write a letter for him every week, with lodes of detail in?
    I'm not sure what the policies within the RAF are for sending letters though.
 
 
 
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