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    Wasn't sure whether to post this here or in general university discussion, but decided here would be the better option. anonymous because.. Well, I don't know really. I guess it's slightly embarassing.

    Basically, I'm really not enjoying university. I feel as though I just don't fit in here, and it's something that's worsened rather than improved since September. I'm currently at Sussex, and it's almost as though everyone is either a shallow, fickle (excessive) drug-taking extrovert or a quiet-as-a-mouse, doesn't leave the library type introvert. I realise you get this to some extent everywhere, but it literally feels as though there is no middle ground here. I've tried everything - socialising with both types, joining societies, making an effort with people I otherwise woudn't bother with but.. To no avail.

    It's really getting me down because I'm craving normality. I wouldn't say I'm particularly strange; I'm a balance of the two. I'm more of a 'good conversation with coffee and cake' person than I am a clubbing person, but I love going to gigs and I do enjoy clubbing sometimes. I like quiet nights in and time alone sometimes, but equally I like drinks and acting silly with my friends.

    Has anyone else ever felt like this? Has anyone re-applied and ended up somewhere that they were much happier? I'm not sure if it's the university or whether the problem lies with me.. but I know I'm not alone in thinking this about Sussex. However, I have been struggling personally too (depression etc.) but that's a long-term thing that's never restricted me socially before. In any case, I don't have any problems with connecting with/having fun with the rare 'normal' person I come across. :p: It's making me seriously consider leaving and re-applying next year, because it's really dragging me down.

    I'm not particularly fond of the university as a place, either. I just want to believe that there are people/places out there that are suited to people like me, because I pretty much feel like an alien life form here. any advice?
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    I know how you feel. At my uni it feels like everybody is off their heads on drugs, or I don't even see them because they're too shy to come out of their rooms. I have a little group I sometimes go out with, but I never really relax around them because we;re so different. Everyone here's shallow and obsessed with going to celebrity clubs and getting on guest lists (Plus the uni's got a myriad of problems, but that's a whole other story).

    But yeah, I've reapplied and I'm hopefully going to Hull next year. You could think about transferring, or maybe trying to find interests outside of uni? That might help you meet more people on your level.
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    (Original post by hayyleyy)
    You're like me. I think it's just the way a lot of universities are. It's mostly luck falling into a group who are similar to you. If you really are unhappy with the place then consider reapplying somewhere else? What course are you doing? Maybe there are people with similar interests there? Sorry I cant be more help!
    Yeah, I have been considering transferring. I do psychology, but in all honesty I haven't made nearly as much as an effort as I could have done due to being so unhappy here, so I may just re-apply all over again. The people on my course are much the same as the people I described - if anything, they're slightly worse because they tend to be the type of psych students that chose it purely because they didn't know what else to do. :rolleyes:

    (Original post by Jenny_C)
    I know how you feel. At my uni it feels like everybody is off their heads on drugs, or I don't even see them because they're too shy to come out of their rooms. I have a little group I sometimes go out with, but I never really relax around them because we;re so different. Everyone here's shallow and obsessed with going to celebrity clubs and getting on guest lists (Plus the uni's got a myriad of problems, but that's a whole other story).

    But yeah, I've reapplied and I'm hopefully going to Hull next year. You could think about transferring, or maybe trying to find interests outside of uni? That might help you meet more people on your level.
    Sorry to hear you're having the same experience - it sucks, doesn't it? I will have a good long think about transferring, but ideally I think i'd like to start all over again. Obviously I've missed the UCAS deadline though, so realistically I'll have to wait until 2011. I could try people outside of University but.. I'm really not happy 'here' in general. I'd rather get away from Brighton, if I'm honest.
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    I think you should leave; there's no point being miserable for the next three years!

    Tbh, what you're saying was my worst nightmare. I'm like you; yeah, I like going out but not every night, and not getting incredibly drunk every time. I equally enjoy staying and watching a film. Fortuntately, the kind of people I've met are just like me (although there are the types who go out every night and get crunk...). People like you do exist - maybe you're just at the wrong uni?
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    Go in the Sussex forum and organise a meet up with the TSR people
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    (Original post by Rosamund123)
    I think you should leave; there's no point being miserable for the next three years!

    Tbh, what you're saying was my worst nightmare. I'm like you; yeah, I like going out but not every night, and not getting incredibly drunk every time. I equally enjoy staying and watching a film. Fortuntately, the kind of people I've met are just like me (although there are the types who go out every night and get crunk...). People like you do exist - maybe you're just at the wrong uni?
    Thanks - this actually made me feel lots better. I think it is the university if I'm honest - I see you're at brum, are you really enjoying it? I never considered it initially because I didn't think I'd like the city, but I've heard lots of good things and I know it's really decent for psychology too.

    (Original post by -WhySoSerious?)
    Go in the Sussex forum and organise a meet up with the TSR people
    Funnily enough, one of the few decent people I've met is from TSR. :p: In all seriousness though, I'd rather not have to rely solely on the internet.. It wouldn't solve the problem anyway, because I don't think meeting anyone new, no matter how lovely they were, would make me want to actually stay here!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks - this actually made me feel lots better. I think it is the university if I'm honest - I see you're at brum, are you really enjoying it? I never considered it initially because I didn't think I'd like the city, but I've heard lots of good things and I know it's really decent for psychology too.

    I love it here, and would definitely recommend it. However, it is definitely a 'going out' sort of place, so you will find a lot of people who are fixated on getting drunk all the time.... but I have found loads of people who don't do that! The uni is really good, the city is surprisingly lovely (the centre is quite small) and v good for shopping, and it's so well connected - you can go anywhere.
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    (Original post by Rosamund123)
    I love it here, and would definitely recommend it. However, it is definitely a 'going out' sort of place, so you will find a lot of people who are fixated on getting drunk all the time.... but I have found loads of people who don't do that! The uni is really good, the city is surprisingly lovely (the centre is quite small) and v good for shopping, and it's so well connected - you can go anywhere.
    Awesome. Oh, I'm totally fine with 'going out' sort of places 'cause it's not as if I'm the shy and retiring type; I just like a balance! Being able to laze around chatting and eating cereal out of the box the next morning rather than waking up and snorting another line, as it often is here.

    Yeah, I think I was really influenced by other people originally - I've never even been to brum so I'm not sure why I made silly assumptions about it! Is the university/accommodation close to the city - as in walkable (ish) distance? I don't mind a 'campus feel' at all, but I don't like feeling completely stranded from all reality like I do here. :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Awesome. Oh, I'm totally fine with 'going out' sort of places 'cause it's not as if I'm the shy and retiring type; I just like a balance! Being able to laze around chatting and eating cereal out of the box the next morning rather than waking up and snorting another line, as it often is here.

    Yeah, I think I was really influenced by other people originally - I've never even been to brum so I'm not sure why I made silly assumptions about it! Is the university/accommodation close to the city - as in walkable (ish) distance? I don't mind a 'campus feel' at all, but I don't like feeling completely stranded from all reality like I do here. :p:
    in that case, I think you would like it. maybe I'm just naive, but I haven't met anyone doing drugs apart from the occasional spliff :rolleyes:

    well, it's a bit of a way from the city centre - walking, about 40 minutes probably. I usually take the train - it takes seven minutes and costs £1.20 return (birmingham is the only UK uni with its own station! :yes:)

    but I know what you mean - sometimes campuses can feel like a 'bubble'. that's what put me off nottingham - it felt like a park! I don't get that feeling here at all. yes, it's a campus, but it feels like part of the community. I think the station does make it seem more connected as well. also, relative to the rest of birmingham, it's quite central.
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    (Original post by Rosamund123)
    in that case, I think you would like it. maybe I'm just naive, but I haven't met anyone doing drugs apart from the occasional spliff :rolleyes:

    well, it's a bit of a way from the city centre - walking, about 40 minutes probably. I usually take the train - it takes seven minutes and costs £1.20 return (birmingham is the only UK uni with its own station! :yes:)

    but I know what you mean - sometimes campuses can feel like a 'bubble'. that's what put me off nottingham - it felt like a park! I don't get that feeling here at all. yes, it's a campus, but it feels like part of the community. I think the station does make it seem more connected as well. also, relative to the rest of birmingham, it's quite central.
    Haha, you're probably not naive - I'd never experienced anything like it until I came here! Lots of people's visiting friends have also been shocked at home much of a drugs haven it is compared to their universities, too.

    Ahh, that sounds pretty good actually. I'm not that fussed about being slap bang in the middle of the city.. I'd rather not just be completely cut off from real life like I am here! Hmm, I think i may go to an open day if I do end up leaving. Thank you for all the info!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haha, you're probably not naive - I'd never experienced anything like it until I came here! Lots of people's visiting friends have also been shocked at home much of a drugs haven it is compared to their universities, too.

    Ahh, that sounds pretty good actually. I'm not that fussed about being slap bang in the middle of the city.. I'd rather not just be completely cut off from real life like I am here! Hmm, I think i may go to an open day if I do end up leaving. Thank you for all the info!
    you are more than welcome! I would definitely recommend coming to an open day and seeing what you think thanks for the rep too! :p:
 
 
 
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