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    #1

    I've been on citalopram 40mg for about a week now, after about 3 months of citalopram 20mg. They started working but pills can't sort out the feelings I've got and I don't know what to do.

    I don't even know why, but for the last year or so, I've felt a bit suicidal, moreso since about summer, then now I just really don't care. But I know I can't do it, but I'm left with these feelings and I don't know what to do, but I'm getting more and more convinced by the idea. I don't even understand this depression, I didn't think I had it till they said.

    I just can't live with or without my life. I don't understand.
    Does anyone have any advice? I feel so screwed up.
    • #2
    #2

    I am going through exactly the same. I don't want to live but I don't want to die either. I just feel like I am stuck in the middle. I have just gone back onto antidepressants. I was on them last year and they really worked, so maybe the ones that you are on aren't suited to you? Fluoxetine worked for me.. I took myself off of them though, FAR too soon. Citalopram made me worse. They made me very angry and even more depressed than before. Talk to your doctor, try changing them? Hope this helps!
    • #3
    #3

    Hey I'm taking citalopram too.

    I completely understand how you feel as I'm in the same boat. You've taken the first step to getting better, and you will in time. When I'm feeling like there's just no point anymore I try to think how amazing it'll be when I'm free of depression and I feel normal and lighter.

    Suicide is not a way out, it's the end. If you keep ploughing through, even though it's difficult, it will be so worth it in the end and you'll appreciate the happy times so much more when they come.

    I found it really difficult to talk to anyone about my problems but in the end I did open up to a friend and it really helped. Although it's frustrating trying to explain to someone how you feel when you can't even comprehend it yourself, telling someone you just feel empty doesn't even start to explain how you feel but at least you'll know there's someone there looking out for you.

    I'm not sure this message makes much sense but hopefully it's helped a little.
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    I'm on Citalopram and have been for over a year,they've worked well for me.
    I'd agree with Anon 2 and go talk to a doctor.
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    First things first, remember that these negative feelings are a symptom of the illness 'depression', they are not logical trustworth thoughts. Citalopram is good, but best I believe as part of a full on assault, rather than a lone cure. Are you taking any counselling at the moment? Exercise is great too, you can channel all of that aggression and nagativity into something that releases endorphenes, making you feel good, and gets you physically fitter. Eat well too, plenty of fresh vegeatbles. Being healthy and strong on the outside really helps to get you healthy inside. A lot of what used to make me down was the ambiguity of all these worries and thoughts mixing up with each other, it just seemed like an overwhelming ball of knotted string, that couldnt be untangled. Get some rolls or sheets of paper, and stick them up all over one wall of your room. Get some crayons, and seperate your life into different sections, eg/ appointments, career, social life, long term goals, worries. This detatches these thoughts from your mind, and organises them, making them seem far more manageable. It is possible there are certain things in your life that cause you to feel really really bad. Is there any way to change these things? How would your life be if they were different? Imagine yourself in a world where these problems dont exist, then step into that person in your mind.
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    Citalopram can cause suicidal thoughts in young adults. You need to visit your doctor again and explain everything you've written here. You can have your meds tweaked until they work for you.

    Remember that meds are just a stepping stone - think of them as more of a way of enabling you to deal with with your problems without the worst symptoms. You need to work with the meds to get anything out of them but if they're not helping, then you need to find other ones that do help.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    First of, thanks for your help.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am going through exactly the same. I don't want to live but I don't want to die either. I just feel like I am stuck in the middle. I have just gone back onto antidepressants. I was on them last year and they really worked, so maybe the ones that you are on aren't suited to you? Fluoxetine worked for me.. I took myself off of them though, FAR too soon. Citalopram made me worse. They made me very angry and even more depressed than before. Talk to your doctor, try changing them? Hope this helps!
    Yeah I've been told to let them work and not to come off them too soon...I've not done this at all, I think that the dosage might mean I've had to get used to them sooner..I don't know. I just know that I'm not a happy person and I don't think I know how to get happy.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey I'm taking citalopram too.

    I completely understand how you feel as I'm in the same boat. You've taken the first step to getting better, and you will in time. When I'm feeling like there's just no point anymore I try to think how amazing it'll be when I'm free of depression and I feel normal and lighter.

    Suicide is not a way out, it's the end. If you keep ploughing through, even though it's difficult, it will be so worth it in the end and you'll appreciate the happy times so much more when they come.

    I found it really difficult to talk to anyone about my problems but in the end I did open up to a friend and it really helped. Although it's frustrating trying to explain to someone how you feel when you can't even comprehend it yourself, telling someone you just feel empty doesn't even start to explain how you feel but at least you'll know there's someone there looking out for you.

    I'm not sure this message makes much sense but hopefully it's helped a little.
    I don't really know where my problems lie..some of it is relationship stuff, but it's been going on a lot longer than that so I'm confused as to where it started
    It's just seriously ups and downs and it's all a bit mad.

    I've opened up to some of my close friends about my depression, self harm, anti-depressants etc, but I can't tell them WHY I'm feeling this way, mainly because I don't really understand any of it. I clam up when I have to talk about it. I think I've left it all far to long to go and see someone about it, and as consequence, I really can't see it getting better.

    (Original post by Double Agent)
    First things first, remember that these negative feelings are a symptom of the illness 'depression', they are not logical trustworth thoughts. Citalopram is good, but best I believe as part of a full on assault, rather than a lone cure. Are you taking any counselling at the moment? Exercise is great too, you can channel all of that aggression and nagativity into something that releases endorphenes, making you feel good, and gets you physically fitter. Eat well too, plenty of fresh vegeatbles. Being healthy and strong on the outside really helps to get you healthy inside. A lot of what used to make me down was the ambiguity of all these worries and thoughts mixing up with each other, it just seemed like an overwhelming ball of knotted string, that couldnt be untangled. Get some rolls or sheets of paper, and stick them up all over one wall of your room. Get some crayons, and seperate your life into different sections, eg/ appointments, career, social life, long term goals, worries. This detatches these thoughts from your mind, and organises them, making them seem far more manageable. It is possible there are certain things in your life that cause you to feel really really bad. Is there any way to change these things? How would your life be if they were different? Imagine yourself in a world where these problems dont exist, then step into that person in your mind.
    Yeah I try to get quite a bit of exercise but I have serious bad days, where I can't switch my light on, I can't leave the room.
    I love the idea about the paper, posters etc. I really must do that, that might well work for me, thank you
    The only things I can think are these 2 situations with particular people, who don't understand the situation and won't let me talk to them just to leave stuff behind; the other is work, and I've been to see lecturers and am catching up on the work, slowly but surely.
    I know this sounds crappy, but I can't ACTUALLY imagine myself without problems. This is why I sometimes wonder if I invite drama into my life or not.

    (Original post by snoogy)
    Citalopram can cause suicidal thoughts in young adults. You need to visit your doctor again and explain everything you've written here. You can have your meds tweaked until they work for you.

    Remember that meds are just a stepping stone - think of them as more of a way of enabling you to deal with with your problems without the worst symptoms. You need to work with the meds to get anything out of them but if they're not helping, then you need to find other ones that do help.
    Thank you. That, too, is a good idea.
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    You're not alone.

    There's people in the world that completely understand you and want more than anything in the world for you to be alright.

    Steve

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    If it's been from the summer could you be suffering from SAD? (Seasonal affective disorder) i dont know a great deal about it but I'm sure wiki might =]
    I think I'm a bit of a depressive but I dont want to do anythign about because I want to be a psychologist but I dont know if being depressed is a quality they'll want lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been on citalopram 40mg for about a week now, after about 3 months of citalopram 20mg. They started working but pills can't sort out the feelings I've got and I don't know what to do.

    I don't even know why, but for the last year or so, I've felt a bit suicidal, moreso since about summer, then now I just really don't care. But I know I can't do it, but I'm left with these feelings and I don't know what to do, but I'm getting more and more convinced by the idea. I don't even understand this depression, I didn't think I had it till they said.

    I just can't live with or without my life. I don't understand.
    Does anyone have any advice? I feel so screwed up.
    Take care of ur spiritual health and your mental health will improve....that's the secret to a good mental health....
 
 
 
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