first things first, i'm a naturally shy person. once i get to know people, i don't shut up but i'm still fairly quiet in large groups. i also find it alot easier to talk to boys than girls.
i've been with my boyfriend for four months and met his friends lots of times, but only really in situations where you don't get much chance to talk to people like in clubs or watching films. i do get very shy in groups of people, especially ones i don't know. i would say i get on with his girl friends quite well in the way that we're friendly and chat a bit but we aren't good friends. however, i do get on very well with his guy friends and i feel much more comfortable with them. his girl friends are always saying that they want to get to know me better but i can be cripplingly shy at times and i find myself making excuses to not go to events where i'd have to make proper conversation with them.
to make matters worse, one of my own friends has recently started going out with my boyfriend's best friend and she has succeeded in charming all of the girls straight away. i just feel like such a failure. i just feel like i have nothing interesting to say and i don't like being the centre of attention. i want to make an effort with these girls because they're really nice and i know my boyfriend wants us to be good friends. i know that they like me but i also know thats all it is. someone please tell me how i can help myself?
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- Thread Starter
- 04-02-2010 21:57
- 04-02-2010 22:04
You just have to push yourself, really. This will sound very over-the-top but if I need to make conversation with people I don't know that well I will mentally think of a few interesting topics to talk about (shared interests, recent events, things they've mentioned that you can bring up so they'll feel flattered you remember) so that if the conversation dribbles to a halt I can keep it going by changing the subject.
HOWEVER, your situation doesn't sound bad at all and if the girls say they want to get to know you better then you must be doing something right! Sometimes it's obvious when someone's a bit shy and it doesn't mean you think any less of them
- 04-02-2010 22:04
if that is how you are then that is how you are. You may be shy, but you could make some effort with a chat with them, otherwise, it may be slow getting to talk to them, but that is the way it is.