I'm not sure what to do at the moment
basically I got with my ex in jan 08. We were together until december 08 and it's taken me a long time to get over it. I got with her after my previous gf broke up for me (suspected she was cheating), but we had been freinds for about 4-5 years.
it was all going great but in the end it went much too quickly, and she started to become very childish and demanding and overbearing. Whenever we met up, there were arguements and I was very down about it. I broke up with her shortly after christmas and I hated myself for it but it was for the best. I still cared for her however and after giving it time we met up again. She was devastated by the break up I think, but we met up a few months ago and it was great to see each other.
I still care about her, she has quite a few (albeit not major but I can tell they really get to her) problems in her life, and I genuinely want to look out for her, want her to be OK. She's quite childish at times however and tries to rub any hint of another partner in my face which gets tiresome. We were meeting up and talking regularly but I didnt want it to go anywhere other than freinds - problem being is that she clearly still has feelings for me and wants more.
Problem is, I've finally moved on and have recently got a girlfreind.. I don't know what to do as I don't want to cut off the ex altogether as we're good freinds, but I don't think it's fair on her or my girlfreind to carry on speaking to her. I've tried telling her and cutting back on contact but she gets a hint and she goes overboard, constant calls etc, and even when it dies off to less regular contact, I don't really want to be talking constantly to an ex - I wouldnt feel comfortable if my girlfriend did it and I only think it's respectful to her that I dont.
Do I talk to the ex still or cut her off altogether? is it going to just mess with her head if I do still talk to her and give her false hope, or is it better if she just thinks I'm a ******* who doesnt wanna know.
sorry for the long post.
some advice... Watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-02-2010 22:24
- 15-07-2010 20:20
Tbh, I really think it should be up to your ex to put her foot down and tell you where to go. She needs to be the strong one in this situation.
Do you feel you lead her on? My ex broke up with me (messy story) and I totally didn't want to know him for a few months, then we started talking. He said he wanted to get back together, said he still loved me, I stupidly belived him. Then I found out he had a new girlfriend. ****. He said he still cares about me and is soooo worried about me blah blah blah. I want to skin him alive and rub him in lemon juice. One day I swear I will.
If it was all above board and you made it clear you were just friends when you got this new girlfriend, she has nothing to hold against you. However if it was all a bit unsure at the time, that's just unfair.
It shouldn't bother your girlfriend that you speak to an ex. She's got you, and ex is an ex at the end of the day.
- 15-07-2010 20:24