Turn on thread page Beta

Once you've had a boyfriend/girlfriend, does it get easier? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I know it sounds like a silly question but I'm an optimistic virgin ( not this isn't one of those 'poor me I've never had a bf threads') and would like to know from others' experience if when they've had their first partner, have they found it easier after them to have more partners?
    Because I'm 19 and a lifelong singleton and have never had a boyfriend, but imagine that when I do get one, after we break up I'll be able to get another one without spending another 7 years being single (I count this from aged 12-you're not single before then!)

    Sorry if this post was incoherent but was just looking for answers!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    well, not neccesarily(sp).
    Ive only had one GF, and we jsut met by chance, and clicked pretty much instantly.
    Ive been single now for 2 years, and jsut not met anybody I like in that way.
    HOWEVER, I dont think you should look at it as 'difficulty' in getting a partner..... becuase you can't control when or where this next BF is going to show up- its random, and therefore out of our control.

    Just go out and enjoy yourself- thats EASY, and its the best way to meet the next Mr Right!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    no, its harder.

    sorry
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It's not guaranteed that you will find someone that you seriously like any sooner, in fact it may be harder, but the experience and confidence you will hopefully gain from being in that first relationship where everything is no longer an unknown and you don't doubt yourself quite as much will mean you are better prepared for making something happen when you do find that next person you think you might like to be with.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't say its harder. Each person you get close to will directly and indirectly influence you, some partners make it easier to do things where others make it harder. I grateful for them all for how they have shaped me to who I am now, I've walked a mile in all of their shoes and I'm better for it.

    Source: 1st G/f until the age of 17 = Together 3 years. Met the 2nd 6 months after split of 1st = Together 5 months. Met the 3rd a month after 2nd = together 3 months. Met the 4th a year after the 3rd = Together 4 months. Just recently split with my latest girlfriend = Together 1 year, I'll marry her one day; Its too tough both being so far away from each other (because of uni).
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Who2004uk)
    I wouldn't say its harder. Each person you get close to will directly and indirectly influence you, some partners make it easier to do things where others make it harder. I grateful for them all for how they have shaped me to who I am now, I've walked a mile in all of their shoes and I'm better for it.
    And thats especially true because between them I bet they had thousands of shoes [/sexism]

    No, I agree. I think it makes you better at relationships - understanding women, dealing with arguements, working out what you want, growing up etc

    But for me after being in a serious relationship and not really flirting or chatting up a girl for 2 years Im a little bit rusty.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Depends on the person entirely.

    I've been single for going on three years now and I'm perfectly happy with it like that. However, I've found that when approaching girls, I compare them to my ex and find it generally harder to show I'm interested.

    It could be just me of course but from my experience, it's more difficult.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest once you've gone through the complication and general actions of meeting someone and getting to know them. Once you break up, it does get easier. After my first GF i found it easier to talk to other girls and get intimate with them and things. I've been single for 6 months or so, not long i know but it's my own choice and i'm not after a girlfriend but if i was, i'm sure i wouldnt find it difficult to talk to a girl or ask her out.
    Offline

    15
    Depends :emo:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It just all depends I guess, on how a relatioship ends/circumstances etc. I had my first bf, we broke up, and have now been single for 18 months. I'd say I've learnt how to be a bit more confident and to just take chances, and I did think that I wouldn't be single for this long after we broke up but sometimes you just don't have control over these things!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    wel when i first got my first boyfriend and we finished it was easier for me to find someone else, but it depends on how quick you find someone or move on. but its different for everyone.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Interesting answers *subscribes*
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Some find it easier, some find it harder. I personally have found it hard. In the last 5 years since my first proper g/f, I've had one g/f and that only lasted a couple of months!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I personally find it a little easier, I'm more confident with how to approach someone if I'm interested in them but it does depend entirely on the people involved in that relationship. I think in terms of what to say and how to let someone know that you're interested it's much easier because you've been there and can correct any awful mistakes But I did find my relationship with my ex quite difficult, because I compared him to the person I knew I should be with and it made everything a little stilted. So I suppose there's not a definitive answer :yes:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I would imagine every case is different. You could meet someone within weeks of being single or could be a year or two.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    haha I have only ever had one serious boyfriend :-/ and havent had another since...

    but I think that is cos I am too picky and sometimes a bit shy, so the guy has to make the first move.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I say it's easier to find other people, but that it's harder to put yourself back into a relationship situation. Generally, the first person you've had a proper relationship tends to be the benchmark for everyone else and if it ended messily, you're more reluctant to go through it again.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Nah...
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    my last girlfriend was over 5 years ago. so no, it doesn't get any easier.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'd say it was easier, well it was for me.
    Like, i'd had 'bf's' before, but they weren't really boyfriends... it was childlike things..

    When i was 18 i got my first proper boyfriend.. But we only lasted like 4 months.. A month later, another guy i like came along and i'm still with him now 7 months on...
    And whilst being with the current bf i've had guys asking me to dump him and get with them o.O Obviously i've refused... But nowadays it seems like relationships are easier to get into.

    But i guess it also depends on what sorta stuff you do or are into, like if you go out alot, or whatever.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 8, 2010
The home of Results and Clearing

2,518

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
Do you want your parents to be with you when you collect your A-level results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.