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Barely speaks to me if we are in a group/I look good - why?! watch

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    Pretty much as per the subject line, he always seeks out my company and opens up and seems to enjoy himself when we are alone but when he includes more people (not often) so that it's a group situation he barely speaks to me/is near me. I understand that the group v. one on one dynamics are different but really is it necessary to be quite so extreme and why? It's like I and our friendship (or whatever the hell it is) don't exist! Plus I have noticed that when I have ever made an effort with my appearance he is less talkative and only on the rare occasion will I get a complement - the latter is fine but I don't see why he should talk less. In both scenarios it's like barriers come up which I can't seem to get through.
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    (Original post by hayyleyy)
    He likes you hun. He's shy
    Really? Well it just made me feel miserable for the whole evening because I didn't know how to deal with it.
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    Is this a girl thread?

    I'm that guy you're talking about. I have a major crush on this girl but its harder to talk to her in "the group" coz
    I'm scared she'll reject me in front of them (theyre like the cool group). As far as when she looks hotter than normal, I feel like she's out of my league - even though I know I'm good lookn lol

    It could work both ways - I mean he might think you're not that hot and is hectically worried the group thinks that... I dunno.
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    It really does sound like he's a shy bugger, you make the first move in private
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    (Original post by Gueirguiy)
    It really does sound like he's a shy bugger, you make the first move in private
    There two problems with that:
    1. He has a gf. It is a long distance relationship which is on the rocks but nevertheless she does exist so I wouldn't feel right making a move.
    2. I am totally inexperienced and so making the first move would be ridiculously hard. Coupled with 1., I just can't do it
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    (Original post by AsAllTheWay)
    Is this a girl thread?

    I'm that guy you're talking about. I have a major crush on this girl but its harder to talk to her in "the group" coz
    I'm scared she'll reject me in front of them (theyre like the cool group). As far as when she looks hotter than normal, I feel like she's out of my league - even though I know I'm good lookn lol

    It could work both ways - I mean he might think you're not that hot and is hectically worried the group thinks that... I dunno.
    Interesting.... but it's so silly because he must know that I wouldn't do that to him and the thing is when we are in a group I don't feel that I can reassure him because he's being all strange anyway so I would just look like some pathetic girl.
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    (Original post by TrueScarlett)
    There two problems with that:
    1. He has a gf. It is a long distance relationship which is on the rocks but nevertheless she does exist so I wouldn't feel right making a move.
    2. I am totally inexperienced and so making the first move would be ridiculously hard. Coupled with 1., I just can't do it
    There is another thing that may work, try make it obvious to the group while he's there that you like him, let it go on from there because if he has friends like me then they would probaly force me to ask you out or something

    I don't know what to say about his gf though.
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    I think he thinks you like him (and he likes you) but he likes his gf too so he doesn't want the group to know he likes you. lol this is 2 complicated.

    Are you christians?
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    (Original post by Gueirguiy)
    There is another thing that may work, try make it obvious to the group while he's there that you like him, let it go on from there because if he has friends like me then they would probaly force me to ask you out or something

    I don't know what to say about his gf though.
    Thank you for your comments. Everyone in the group thinks we're a couple anyway and have been teasing me but no one does so to him. I'm the only person in the group that he's actually close to so there isn't really anyone to force him. I would like to force him to make a move (if that's the way it is going) but I really don't know how to. I also think I need to try think of way to make him not feel insecure without looking like a total idiot.
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    (Original post by hayyleyy)
    He likes you hun. He's shy
    yeah def, i've behaved in exactly the same way before and i really don't know why, i get very annoyed with my shyness sometimes.
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    (Original post by AsAllTheWay)
    I think he thinks you like him (and he likes you) but he likes his gf too so he doesn't want the group to know he likes you. lol this is 2 complicated.

    Are you christians?
    Tell me about it re: the too complicated! I'm wondering if he's unsure as to what to do about the gf because she's the other side of the world and he doesn't speak about her in a positive way. Another problem to throw into the mix is that we're both insanely busy at the moment and I won't see him for a while but this limbo will still play on my mind. Funny you should ask about the Christian point, he's really very Catholic.
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    Youve got to do something then havent you! you clearly think hes interested in you or you wouldnt have used some of the wording that you have for him in this text such as "People think were a couple" and "He gives me compliments" etc so you know he kinda likes you a bit anyways.

    What are those coldplay lyrics..."If you never try then youll never know" you have to make some indication of your feelings like a little comment or making an effort to speak to the lad a bit more maybe touch him subtly when talking or something JUST FLIRT GIRL. flirt you fugging arse off if you need to make him notice what you think about him, guys also arent always blessed with massive confidence and need to know you like them before they do something alot of the time.

    About his GF, its tricky still have a little flirt with him but i wouldnt expect anything to happen until theyre over.
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    When a guy likes a girl, he becomes more talkative, this I can assure you. He would use every chance to show her his interest.

    And I'm not surprised that he doesn't compliment you when you make effort with your appearance. If he has a girlfriend, then what do you want him to say: ”you look really pretty today but as I have a girlfriend I can not have a relation with you”. No one guy would say such thing, he would sound stupid. So keeping silent is better in this case.

    If you think that he also likes you, then wait for some time to see whether he is going to break up with his girlfriend, but don’t push him to do it, you will not feel good after.
    And if you are not sure that he’s interested, then better to forget about him and find another.
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    (Original post by Rogerio134)
    You have to make some indication of your feelings like a little comment or making an effort to speak to the lad a bit more maybe touch him subtly when talking or something JUST FLIRT GIRL. flirt you fugging arse off if you need to make him notice what you think about him, guys also arent always blessed with massive confidence and need to know you like them before they do something alot of the time.
    I have been trying but I feel so stupid doing it although it's easier when we're alone and there have been small signs of success from it *i think* although I then over-analyse and think he just means everything as a friend. I suppose time will tell... it's just a bit irritating in the meantime!:eek3:
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    (Original post by alijimi)
    If you think that he also likes you, then wait for some time to see whether he is going to break up with his girlfriend, but don’t push him to do it, you will not feel good after.
    I agree, I would never even think about doing that for so many reasons. Apart from anything else I wouldn't want to be in a forced relationship like that.
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    If he can't make the first move then he dosn't deserve anything if i can be honest, wait for him to do something
 
 
 
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