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The way to break up from a long term relationship? :'(
Hi there.
I have decided that in the likely circumstance in which I may break up with my long term boyfriend, there are things that I'm dreading...
Do you think that you should always break up in person?
How should I go about it? No jokes please.
Should I say that we can stay friends (even if I am not planning to?)
What is the best way to avoid a fight when we break up?
Can anyone post their experiences too? Were you the rejector or the rejectee? How did it work out in the end? How did you feel after the break up? Did you get back together at all?
Help please
I have decided that in the likely circumstance in which I may break up with my long term boyfriend, there are things that I'm dreading...
Do you think that you should always break up in person?
How should I go about it? No jokes please.
Should I say that we can stay friends (even if I am not planning to?)
What is the best way to avoid a fight when we break up?
Can anyone post their experiences too? Were you the rejector or the rejectee? How did it work out in the end? How did you feel after the break up? Did you get back together at all?
Help please
Hey Random One.....
YES it is vital that you break up in person......you say they're long term so you've probably been with them quite a while - it's the least they deserve.
Also, they deserve the truth. If you're not planning on being friends with the guy don't give him false hope. I'm not saying turn into a complete bitch, but you will need to be firm otherwise it'll just drag on and people will get hurt.
My experience goes as follows -
I was the rejectee. I was staying with uni friends after going to a summer party - good times. I receive a TEXT MESSAGE saying it was over. This frustrated me so much, because i couldnt even go round to try and sort things out as i was in a different city.
Then....he lead me on for 6 months afterwards...still saying nice things to me/talking to me like we were still together/still sleeping together etc...then turns round one day and says it stops. I was completely under his control and i dont like myself for that :-\ in the end i moved to germany to get away from it all. It was too messy.
I would have preferred honesty, something i never got, and a clean break from him, no leading on, no nothing.
I hope everything goes ok for you.x
YES it is vital that you break up in person......you say they're long term so you've probably been with them quite a while - it's the least they deserve.
Also, they deserve the truth. If you're not planning on being friends with the guy don't give him false hope. I'm not saying turn into a complete bitch, but you will need to be firm otherwise it'll just drag on and people will get hurt.
My experience goes as follows -
I was the rejectee. I was staying with uni friends after going to a summer party - good times. I receive a TEXT MESSAGE saying it was over. This frustrated me so much, because i couldnt even go round to try and sort things out as i was in a different city.
Then....he lead me on for 6 months afterwards...still saying nice things to me/talking to me like we were still together/still sleeping together etc...then turns round one day and says it stops. I was completely under his control and i dont like myself for that :-\ in the end i moved to germany to get away from it all. It was too messy.
I would have preferred honesty, something i never got, and a clean break from him, no leading on, no nothing.
I hope everything goes ok for you.x
Always break up in person.
Don't ever say your going to remain friends if your not intending too. (thats just patronising)
You won't get into a fight. You will be honest and truthful, and if you have any feelings, your emotions over the failings of the relationship should also pour through.
Don't ever say your going to remain friends if your not intending too. (thats just patronising)
You won't get into a fight. You will be honest and truthful, and if you have any feelings, your emotions over the failings of the relationship should also pour through.
Dont break up by txt, email or msn, its just insulting.
Also dont use any stupid excuses (my mom dosent want us going out, i dont want a boyfriend right now, im turning gay, and yes iv had them all used on me ='/) since it will REALLY screw up the guy.
your best way is in person or in a letter, not sure about the phone and just tell him that you dont think it will work. Oh and never say you still love him, he will just see it as a way back to you.
Also i dont think its a good idea to stay friends since he will probably try to get back with you if you do, but other people keep there exs as good friends.
Also dont use any stupid excuses (my mom dosent want us going out, i dont want a boyfriend right now, im turning gay, and yes iv had them all used on me ='/) since it will REALLY screw up the guy.
your best way is in person or in a letter, not sure about the phone and just tell him that you dont think it will work. Oh and never say you still love him, he will just see it as a way back to you.
Also i dont think its a good idea to stay friends since he will probably try to get back with you if you do, but other people keep there exs as good friends.
Fleece
Hey Random One.....
YES it is vital that you break up in person......you say they're long term so you've probably been with them quite a while - it's the least they deserve.
Also, they deserve the truth. If you're not planning on being friends with the guy don't give him false hope. I'm not saying turn into a complete bitch, but you will need to be firm otherwise it'll just drag on and people will get hurt.
My experience goes as follows -
I was the rejectee. I was staying with uni friends after going to a summer party - good times. I receive a TEXT MESSAGE saying it was over. This frustrated me so much, because i couldnt even go round to try and sort things out as i was in a different city.
Then....he lead me on for 6 months afterwards...still saying nice things to me/talking to me like we were still together/still sleeping together etc...then turns round one day and says it stops. I was completely under his control and i dont like myself for that :-\ in the end i moved to germany to get away from it all. It was too messy.
I would have preferred honesty, something i never got, and a clean break from him, no leading on, no nothing.
I hope everything goes ok for you.x
YES it is vital that you break up in person......you say they're long term so you've probably been with them quite a while - it's the least they deserve.
Also, they deserve the truth. If you're not planning on being friends with the guy don't give him false hope. I'm not saying turn into a complete bitch, but you will need to be firm otherwise it'll just drag on and people will get hurt.
My experience goes as follows -
I was the rejectee. I was staying with uni friends after going to a summer party - good times. I receive a TEXT MESSAGE saying it was over. This frustrated me so much, because i couldnt even go round to try and sort things out as i was in a different city.
Then....he lead me on for 6 months afterwards...still saying nice things to me/talking to me like we were still together/still sleeping together etc...then turns round one day and says it stops. I was completely under his control and i dont like myself for that :-\ in the end i moved to germany to get away from it all. It was too messy.
I would have preferred honesty, something i never got, and a clean break from him, no leading on, no nothing.
I hope everything goes ok for you.x
Thanks. If I do break up with him, I will tell him it straight and honestly.
BhArJ
Dont break up by txt, email or msn, its just insulting.
Also dont use any stupid excuses (my mom dosent want us going out, i dont want a boyfriend right now, im turning gay, and yes iv had them all used on me ='/) since it will REALLY screw up the guy.
your best way is in person or in a letter, not sure about the phone and just tell him that you dont think it will work. Oh and never say you still love him, he will just see it as a way back to you.
Also i dont think its a good idea to stay friends since he will probably try to get back with you if you do, but other people keep there exs as good friends.
Also dont use any stupid excuses (my mom dosent want us going out, i dont want a boyfriend right now, im turning gay, and yes iv had them all used on me ='/) since it will REALLY screw up the guy.
your best way is in person or in a letter, not sure about the phone and just tell him that you dont think it will work. Oh and never say you still love him, he will just see it as a way back to you.
Also i dont think its a good idea to stay friends since he will probably try to get back with you if you do, but other people keep there exs as good friends.
Oops I used that line before "I don't want a boyfriend right now"...
But I hope it didn't screw him up
I still care about him, but I think that it won't work out in the long run.
It will be hard not saying I love him, but I'm gonna try.
Thanks 
Random one
Hi there.
I have decided that in the likely circumstance in which I may break up with my long term boyfriend, there are things that I'm dreading...
Do you think that you should always break up in person?
How should I go about it? No jokes please.
Should I say that we can stay friends (even if I am not planning to?)
What is the best way to avoid a fight when we break up?
Can anyone post their experiences too? Were you the rejector or the rejectee? How did it work out in the end? How did you feel after the break up? Did you get back together at all?
Help please
I have decided that in the likely circumstance in which I may break up with my long term boyfriend, there are things that I'm dreading...
Do you think that you should always break up in person?
How should I go about it? No jokes please.
Should I say that we can stay friends (even if I am not planning to?)
What is the best way to avoid a fight when we break up?
Can anyone post their experiences too? Were you the rejector or the rejectee? How did it work out in the end? How did you feel after the break up? Did you get back together at all?
Help please
Don't say that you want to stay friends if you actually do not want to. It gives false hope-which is ok at first but in the end causes more hurt.
I broke up with my very long term boyfriend. We are still very close and good friends. I ended things. I didn't want to. I still love him even now but it just wasn't working as a relationship at that moment in time. It is something that I regret doing, but at the same time it has made me a much stronger person. Think carefully before you do anything. I didn't. I just snapped one day and couldn't go on...
sparklyteacosie
Don't say that you want to stay friends if you actually do not want to. It gives false hope-which is ok at first but in the end causes more hurt.
I broke up with my very long term boyfriend. We are still very close and good friends. I ended things. I didn't want to. I still love him even now but it just wasn't working as a relationship at that moment in time. It is something that I regret doing, but at the same time it has made me a much stronger person. Think carefully before you do anything. I didn't. I just snapped one day and couldn't go on...
I broke up with my very long term boyfriend. We are still very close and good friends. I ended things. I didn't want to. I still love him even now but it just wasn't working as a relationship at that moment in time. It is something that I regret doing, but at the same time it has made me a much stronger person. Think carefully before you do anything. I didn't. I just snapped one day and couldn't go on...
If you could go back into your relationship, do you think you would?
Random one
If you could go back into your relationship, do you think you would?
I would.
But at this moment in time it just isn't possible. I don't think I will move on either though.
I've been dumped twice and whereas it is never pleasant there are ways to make it softer on both people. First girlfriend who dumped me seemed to not want to hurt me, but I think she hurt me more because she did not manage to just end it. She more or les made it clear she didn't want a realtionship and eventually I just told her I could not take it much longer and that she would have to make up her mind.
Second time I got dumped over the phone (tho I don't blaim her, she would have to fly 8 time zones ). She simply told me she was not happy and could no stay in a relationship she did notbeleive in. A bit brutal, but honest and probably the best in the end.
My advice is you don't try to explain it too much that just makes it worse. Be honest, keep it short without explicitly sayingyou dont like him and do it in person preferably at his place so he does not have to walk home alone. Don't bee in too much ofa hurry to leave, but dont stay arround either. If he starts asking for reasons just tell him you are sorry. If you are breaking up because tehre is somethingyou dislike about him, don't tell him, not even if he asks for a reason. It will just make him more sad if you tell him. If it seems natural you may wantto give him a comforting hug before you leave. Theres really no way to keep him from getting sad if that is his reaction but you can make it a bit softer. Just stay clear of saying anything easily transparent to cheer him up. It will just make things worse.
Second time I got dumped over the phone (tho I don't blaim her, she would have to fly 8 time zones ). She simply told me she was not happy and could no stay in a relationship she did notbeleive in. A bit brutal, but honest and probably the best in the end.
My advice is you don't try to explain it too much that just makes it worse. Be honest, keep it short without explicitly sayingyou dont like him and do it in person preferably at his place so he does not have to walk home alone. Don't bee in too much ofa hurry to leave, but dont stay arround either. If he starts asking for reasons just tell him you are sorry. If you are breaking up because tehre is somethingyou dislike about him, don't tell him, not even if he asks for a reason. It will just make him more sad if you tell him. If it seems natural you may wantto give him a comforting hug before you leave. Theres really no way to keep him from getting sad if that is his reaction but you can make it a bit softer. Just stay clear of saying anything easily transparent to cheer him up. It will just make things worse.
It depends how you feel about him. The best way to break up with someone is to do it in person, but i know if i ever wanted to break up with my boyfriend like that i wouldn't be able to, i'd melt and not be able to say it. If you feel that you would end up like that the best way to do it is a letter. In a letter you can take the time to explain exactly why your doing it and for exactly what reasons, you think you shouldn't be together anymore.
Related discussions
- Is it a bad idea to get into a relationship at university?
- Is it really such a bad thing to have an undefined relationship
- How to break up with long term bf after his mum has died
- Boyfriend commenting on other girls posts - am I crazy???
- Should i breakup
- Getting back with ex after a month.
- Teenage love is successful. Debate
- Should I (20 M) break up with my boyfriend (20M) / are my new feelings genuine?
- How do you know if someone’s a cheater?
- We are not the right match but love each other
- When do you stop crying over a breakup?
- Am I overthinking?
- Just Not Sure If Im Into My BF
- I cant tell if I am friend zoned or if she just needs time.
- Why do couples break up for the long distance of uni?
- Breakup advice
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- Is it a sin in Islam to break a girls heart?
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