This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Please help me
- Feel worthless
- weird not a bad thing?
- advice on friend grp
- I sent my CS coursework to someone
- Am i a bad person?
- Problems in nightclubs in Brighton (SA mention)
- Guys I think I ****ed up
- How is the social life at LSE?
- Friendship Advice
- i dont know whether im being rude for dropping my best friend
- Clingy friend affecting me making new friendships
- how to signal to this girl that i do not like her at all
- Would I be a bad friend?
- was i in the wrong?
- Pocket money
- Self-esteem issues
- Idk
- St lukes exeter campus
- Should I live with this person?
Bad friend?
Well, trying to keep this short-ish! I've had depression for about 4 years, sometimes bad and not so bad. During the past year I have kinda relied on a guy who I once thought was a good friend of mine who I was good friends with in 6th form, hes now finished uni.
Anyway on saturday night, things came to a breaking point for me and i rang him up in tears partly because i was panicking and thought he could help me. I thought he did until I talked to another friend of mine and was told he thought i was a drama queen etc. Obviously I was pissed off and wrote an email explaining how i felt. The responce was quite long, but in general he said, he didn't want to know me until I got better. Once I get better, only then will he speak to me again.
I told him to piss off completely and never talk to me again. Have I done the right thing?
Anyway on saturday night, things came to a breaking point for me and i rang him up in tears partly because i was panicking and thought he could help me. I thought he did until I talked to another friend of mine and was told he thought i was a drama queen etc. Obviously I was pissed off and wrote an email explaining how i felt. The responce was quite long, but in general he said, he didn't want to know me until I got better. Once I get better, only then will he speak to me again.
I told him to piss off completely and never talk to me again. Have I done the right thing?
Scroll to see replies
Yes you have, i can see where he's coming from though, it's quite possible that he feels you are putting on some of the depression thing and overreacting, if that's how he feels i empathise completely with him. Hard to say without knowing you/him but don't go running to him, even more liklely to make him run a mile.
Yes, you did...anyone who abandons their friend isn't worth it.
Because I had cut myself quite badly, bleeding quite a bit and this led to my panicking. I had come back from a night out where as usual I tried to have a good night but it always end up with me feeling low! grr! I can't quite remember why I rang him, I suppose at the time I thought he could help me and I wasn't in a particulary good state of mind.
luce20
Well, trying to keep this short-ish! I've had depression for about 4 years, sometimes bad and not so bad. During the past year I have kinda relied on a guy who I once thought was a good friend of mine who I was good friends with in 6th form, hes now finished uni.
Anyway on saturday night, things came to a breaking point for me and i rang him up in tears partly because i was panicking and thought he could help me. I thought he did until I talked to another friend of mine and was told he thought i was a drama queen etc. Obviously I was pissed off and wrote an email explaining how i felt. The responce was quite long, but in general he said, he didn't want to know me until I got better. Once I get better, only then will he speak to me again.
I told him to piss off completely and never talk to me again. Have I done the right thing?
Anyway on saturday night, things came to a breaking point for me and i rang him up in tears partly because i was panicking and thought he could help me. I thought he did until I talked to another friend of mine and was told he thought i was a drama queen etc. Obviously I was pissed off and wrote an email explaining how i felt. The responce was quite long, but in general he said, he didn't want to know me until I got better. Once I get better, only then will he speak to me again.
I told him to piss off completely and never talk to me again. Have I done the right thing?
no, everybody talks behind other peoples backs. It sounds like to have been whingeing for some period now, and it has been good of him to put up with it at all. Besides, 'depression' can hardly be considered a real illness.
Depression IS an illness.
Depression is considered an illness, regardless of whether it is minor, or severe. Anyways I didn't start this thread to discuss whether or not depression is an illness or not. I'm feeling really quite sh*t over this whole incident, I haven't moaned to this guy day after day, its only been on a couple of nights out (literally, no more) and Ive gotten upset and now hes saying this and its just Im feeling like you can't depend on anyone, cause eventually they tell you to piss off????!!?
luce20
Depression is considered an illness, regardless of whether it is minor, or severe. Anyways I didn't start this thread to discuss whether or not depression is an illness or not. I'm feeling really quite sh*t over this whole incident, I haven't moaned to this guy day after day, its only been on a couple of nights out (literally, no more) and Ive gotten upset and now hes saying this and its just Im feeling like you can't depend on anyone, cause eventually they tell you to piss off????!!?
Yeah it's true, you can't depend on anyone. Don't make that mistake.
Ermm no, I do have more than one friend, quite a lot from different areas of my life. Yeah i don't being lonely, its only my sig from quite a few months back!! I know your trying to help, I just cant understand ppl sometimes. Ive been with friends who have had bad bouts of depression and I would never would have said to them, pull yourself up, come back to me when your feeling better etc because I know it never works.
I known this guy for 5 years, which is a long time really, considering he went to uni after only knowing him for 2 years and hes one of the few ppl i still talked to.
I known this guy for 5 years, which is a long time really, considering he went to uni after only knowing him for 2 years and hes one of the few ppl i still talked to.
luce20
Depression is considered an illness, regardless of whether it is minor, or severe. Anyways I didn't start this thread to discuss whether or not depression is an illness or not. I'm feeling really quite sh*t over this whole incident, I haven't moaned to this guy day after day, its only been on a couple of nights out (literally, no more) and Ive gotten upset and now hes saying this and its just Im feeling like you can't depend on anyone, cause eventually they tell you to piss off????!!?
umm, Weren't you the one to tell him to piss off?
If you read the first msg, he told me to come back when i wouldn't bother him with any details of my life and only if he could have a good night out without me getting upset. He said in the email he would not be my friend till i was sorted out. Should have I been happy with that and said fine then?
Personally, it was terrible of him to do that (in my opinion). It may be the case that he was very pressured by all of your emotions and couldn't take it anymore, but he could have told you all of this & have a chat about it saying what he thought rather than bitching about you. But, have you ever considered that he DID not say you were a drama queen?
Maybe, it's the case that it got too much for him, and he thought you were too clingy perhaps. But, a good friend sticks about through trouble and he obviously did not: otherwise he would have talked about how he felt too.
Moreover, depression is an illness, so who said it wasn't is wrong, and very insensitive. However, I think that what you are doing to yourself needs to be dealt with more professionally, as it must have been a huge weight on your "friend". I've dealt with a friend who did this & it's bloody hard, so you must understand the emotional consequences of the friend too. What I'm saying is: I think you need to see somebody as you can't keep living like this. Whatever it is that makes you do this must be sorted as it's been going on for too long. I know your "friend" probably meant a lot to you, but it's better that you deal with this with someone else.
Also, I think maybe you should try and talk to your friend, as I see this situation only reinforcing your misery. Despite him being a prick then, you both need to understand what is happening, and falling out will not help your situation.
Sorry if i seem patronising & I hope you work something out. Also, hope your depression gets better, but remember sometimes it is hard for people to understand.
Gemma (sorry for waffling)
Maybe, it's the case that it got too much for him, and he thought you were too clingy perhaps. But, a good friend sticks about through trouble and he obviously did not: otherwise he would have talked about how he felt too.
Moreover, depression is an illness, so who said it wasn't is wrong, and very insensitive. However, I think that what you are doing to yourself needs to be dealt with more professionally, as it must have been a huge weight on your "friend". I've dealt with a friend who did this & it's bloody hard, so you must understand the emotional consequences of the friend too. What I'm saying is: I think you need to see somebody as you can't keep living like this. Whatever it is that makes you do this must be sorted as it's been going on for too long. I know your "friend" probably meant a lot to you, but it's better that you deal with this with someone else.
Also, I think maybe you should try and talk to your friend, as I see this situation only reinforcing your misery. Despite him being a prick then, you both need to understand what is happening, and falling out will not help your situation.
Sorry if i seem patronising & I hope you work something out. Also, hope your depression gets better, but remember sometimes it is hard for people to understand.
Gemma (sorry for waffling)
Thanks for the reply Gemma. Everything you said you was so right. I did try the counselling( didn't like it), only recently been on the anti- depressants ( again, they only lift the mood and i didn't feel no real difference). I feel like im running out of options as what to do. I want to go uni, feel better, not cry on my friends, and generally feel well.
I had hoped my friends would be there for me. In the quite angry email, he said i was a drama queen and that i should buckle myself up because i had nothing to be upset about, which was upsetting in itself because he does know i have been through some crap times.
With regards to the falling out situation, I think my very angry and upset reply to him kinda already finished our friendship for good. Maybes its savagable, but some of the other stuff he said was unforgiveable as well. I really don't know if i can pick myself up from this.
I had hoped my friends would be there for me. In the quite angry email, he said i was a drama queen and that i should buckle myself up because i had nothing to be upset about, which was upsetting in itself because he does know i have been through some crap times.
With regards to the falling out situation, I think my very angry and upset reply to him kinda already finished our friendship for good. Maybes its savagable, but some of the other stuff he said was unforgiveable as well. I really don't know if i can pick myself up from this.
Well: a friend who calls another a drama queen is not worth it!
Try to focus on positive things, sometimes things happen for the best & life is what you make it. This is so cliched, but some people have worser things happen to them and no matter how hard you think your life is, someone has it a hell of a lot worse.
You will go to uni and make new friends who genuinely care. You have to learn from mistakes and be strong
. Try to salvage what there is, but don't run...if he was a decent friend he'd come back and sort this out maturely.
Try counselling again maybe? What about family? Or, why not join a group or take up a sport/activity which you can channel your anger in...haha...Ok I sound like Dear Deirdre.
Chin up! It gets better! Don't waste your life dwelling/You may have had bad experiences but how you cope makes you a better person.
Try to focus on positive things, sometimes things happen for the best & life is what you make it. This is so cliched, but some people have worser things happen to them and no matter how hard you think your life is, someone has it a hell of a lot worse.
You will go to uni and make new friends who genuinely care. You have to learn from mistakes and be strong
. Try to salvage what there is, but don't run...if he was a decent friend he'd come back and sort this out maturely.Try counselling again maybe? What about family? Or, why not join a group or take up a sport/activity which you can channel your anger in...haha...Ok I sound like Dear Deirdre.
Chin up! It gets better! Don't waste your life dwelling/You may have had bad experiences but how you cope makes you a better person.
Related discussions
- Please help me
- Feel worthless
- weird not a bad thing?
- advice on friend grp
- I sent my CS coursework to someone
- Am i a bad person?
- Problems in nightclubs in Brighton (SA mention)
- Guys I think I ****ed up
- How is the social life at LSE?
- Friendship Advice
- i dont know whether im being rude for dropping my best friend
- Clingy friend affecting me making new friendships
- how to signal to this girl that i do not like her at all
- Would I be a bad friend?
- was i in the wrong?
- Pocket money
- Self-esteem issues
- Idk
- St lukes exeter campus
- Should I live with this person?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 6 days ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 1 week ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
