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not quite bisexual but not quite straight.. watch

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    I have never come across/heard of this problem. I have known I am attracted to girls as well as boys for years but I don't feel comfortable with the thought of going further than kissing/ don't think I really want to. I got into an awkward situation with a friend of mine recently who's gay because she said I was leading her on (when I thought about it I think she had a point- I acted like I wanted to kiss her because I did, but I knew she would want more to happen and I would lose interest so I didn't). I think she thinks I'm in denial or can't deal with it- she said she'd be there if I ever wanted to talk to her about it but I don't feel I can because of what happened.
    there have also been other occasions where I've kissed a girl and sort of liked them, but don't go further even though they want to. this sounds weird maybe- but I like the idea of doing it but don't think I actually physically have sexual feelings for a girl- I really don't like the thought of having sex with a girl...

    I would really appreciate any input/ opinions...
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    What is the problem?
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    #2

    Everyone are somewhere in between the two extremes (Gay and Straight)

    It is normal, and you do not need to define yourself to one extreme. Just do what you feels right for you.
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    It's really common and not even an issue. Sexuality's a scale - very few people are 100% straight, bisexual, gay or whatever.

    Do what you like, kiss who you like and have sex with who you like. Simple.

    Just be honest with your friend and tell her exactly how you feel - it may be that you would go further with a girl but just haven't found the right one yet. I'm pretty straight but I'm sure there's guys out there that I'd kiss but wouldn't necessarily sleep with!
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    If you don't want to have sex with a girl then you're not bisexual... you're possibly bicurious at most.

    Sexuality is about being sexually attracted to people. Perhaps you're just enjoying experimenting and pushing your boundaries. There's nothing wrong with that.

    The real question is do you NOT want to have sex with a girl... or are you scared to have sex with a girl because it's strange/unknown to you?
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    Is anyone?
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    (Original post by raisin.)
    It's really common and not even an issue. Sexuality's a scale - very few people are 100% straight, bisexual, gay or whatever.

    Do what you like, kiss who you like and have sex with who you like. Simple.

    Just be honest with your friend and tell her exactly how you feel - it may be that you would go further with a girl but just haven't found the right one yet. I'm pretty straight but I'm sure there's guys out there that I'd kiss but wouldn't necessarily sleep with!
    This is not really a good advice :lol:
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    (Original post by Butterflyleg)
    This is not really a good advice :lol:
    Apart from anything else, you might want to check it's ok with them first :p:
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    (Original post by Butterflyleg)
    This is not really a good advice :lol:
    Haha, I was contemplating adding 'within reason' to the end of that.

    I meant it in relation to gender - obviously. But hey, if the OP wants to try it on with anyone and everyone then that's fineeee, as long as I'm not held accountable! :p:
    • #3
    #3

    Keep a careful eye. Don't throw yourself into the deep end, don't label yourself as something and then stick to that mindset. It's entirely normal anyway, insofar that, although it may not be acceptable in older generations, anyone below 30 realises that not everyone is straight and they are entitled to practice whatever they like.

    Don't supress any feelings either, otherwise they'll surface very ugly indeed.
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    (Original post by nolongerhearthemusic)
    What is the problem?
    the problem is basically that I end up leading girls on. and this last girl was my friend and now I feel like I've made things awkward between us

    it might be that my problem is being fickle (I am with boys too) but at least I know whether or not I want to sleep with a boy before we're in bed together..
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    Think of sexuality like a spectrum.

    It sounds like to me you are moving along the spectrum towards the gay end. I'm talking from experience. When I first had gay feelings the thought of having sex with someone of the same sex turned my stomach ........ but hey many years later..I'm in a very successful gay relationship.
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    (Original post by SummerBay)

    It sounds like to me you are moving along the spectrum towards the gay end.
    I dont mean that forever and ever, I just mean at the moment.

    I think in life we should all look at sexuality as a spectrum.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the problem is basically that I end up leading girls on. and this last girl was my friend and now I feel like I've made things awkward between us

    it might be that my problem is being fickle (I am with boys too) but at least I know whether or not I want to sleep with a boy before we're in bed together..
    "Leading on" is a pretty ridiculous concept tbh. It's a weird guilt-trippy thing that's all about the perception of someone else, which you are not responsible for unless you did it deliberately.

    Why should you have to know what you want before you get there, anyway?
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    No-one is 100% straight, no matter how much they say they are, there will always be this very slight attraction to the same sex, you just have it more and are bi-curious. I am bi-sexual and there is nothing to worry about as other people will be and if people don't like you because you have feelings for the same sex stuff them. Also I wouldn't hide it and would be open.
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    I suggest this as an answer to all your problems...

    http://www.deeppencil.com/images/hal...lf-woman11.jpg
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    (Original post by clareramos)
    No-one is 100% straight, no matter how much they say they are, there will always be this very slight attraction to the same sex, you just have it more and are bi-curious. I am bi-sexual and there is nothing to worry about as other people will be and if people don't like you because you have feelings for the same sex stuff them. Also I wouldn't hide it and would be open.
    well to be honest- its not so much my sexuality itself that's the issue- I've always seen being bisexual or gay (rightly or wrongly) as sort of making people more 'exotic' or interesting and I mainly just got boys thinking it was hot when I kissed girls as a reaction (although I definitely would feel a little uncomfortable telling girls at uni- I just feel like they wouldn't get it even if they were fine with it)- I've always sort of secretly wished I was completely bisexual because I think it would make life a bit more interesting- plus I feel affinity with the lgbt culture and would like to have a part in it.

    I am just curious more than anything/wish I understood myself better- to what degree its my sexuality, to what degree its my relationships with others in general- I feel kind of lonely/the odd one out because I've never heard of let alone met anyone who is like this
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    It's really common - just go with the flow... Don't feel you have to force anything - noone cares if you never end up kissing a girl or if you do everything with a girl.
 
 
 
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