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Asians and the whole system of finding finding a husband/wife watch

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    Is it not somewhat brutal?! Lol I'm talking about if your parents end up looking for someone 'suitable/nice' for you, instead of finding someone yourself...

    My brother turns 24 today and he doesn't even want to think about getting married yet. My mom wanted to know whether she should start looking for a nice girl for him yet, or not. He said no lol.

    But this brought up the topic of our cousin, who has set a date for her wedding this September. This is the 'brutal' part- my mom and brother were talking about her; my brother said she's not pretty, I said she is, my mom said she's not, she's just average. I really disagreed! I think she's pretty! I guess we just have different opinions of pretty.
    My mom was saying how her fiancee is better looking than her... so I'm expecting to see a really hot bloke. (Oh and btw, they were introduced through their parents... they're both nearly 30)

    But yeah... This happens with everyone who announces they're getting married- and not just in my family lol If the parents end up looking for someone, then omg it's just scrutiny! "She's a bit podgy... He's not really tall enough... What degree did she/he do?... What job has she/he got?..."

    It just made me think, if I'm not lucky enough to find someone who I fall in love with and want to marry, then some family could be scrutinizing me like that! Scary stuff...

    Thoughts?
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    It doesn't have to be a brutal process.
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    I am a 24 years bangladeshi guy. I am looking for a girl to marry. I want my girl to be smart, educated. She doesn't need to be very preety, but have to be average/normal looking. But must not be ugly. And at last she must have to be an honest and good hearted girl.

    ( I dont prefer very much preety , hot and sexy girls. I want my girl to love me so that we can live happily for ever. I am muslim. But if she is hindu or chirstian I dont care. I dont care about my religion.)
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    I have 3 options if I cannot find my self a decent person by the time I am 30:

    1.) Run away and live with my dogs in the city in my 'so called' very luxurious dream appartment :rolleyes:
    2.) I either turn lesbian so they can expect a lady as a daughter in law (plus I am bi and very very un-cultural)
    3.) I will end up in a mental instituition very lonely

    My parents are very hot on to get me married - they are so so desperate to the point that they went to a poor guy in a shop to get his number to get to know me.

    Bloody hell - I hate my culture. No offence.
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    i dont care about the complexion also.
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    It's part of the asian culture and i see no problem, provided the girl/boy is happy. I don't like parents who force their son/daughter to marry unknown individual in far east.
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    (Original post by Riba_Info)
    I am a 24 years bangladeshi guy. I am looking for a girl to marry. I want my girl to be smart, educated. She doesn't need to be very preety, but have to be average/normal looking. But must not be ugly. And at last she must have to be an honest and good hearted girl.

    ( I dont prefer very much preety , hot and sexy girls. I want my girl to love me so that we can live happily for ever. I am muslim. But if she is hindu or chirstian I dont care. I dont care about my religion.)
    lol did you register on TSR to advertise yourself as an available marriage candidate??

    :rofl:
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    lol, I got asian parents, and I am soo gald they are liberal....I have been told that I can marry whomever I want to marry...although I have a very niggling feeling that they will do as my aunt did.....they guy can bring home and guy and get parents blessing to marry or not....but if the parents don't like the girl....then she ain't getting married to him.....so whilst its my cousins choice who he wants to marry and can "show" his parents, but if they don't agree, then he will only marry her when hell freezes over....he can choose the girl, but the parents deciede if he can marry
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    (Original post by miss_p)
    My brother turns 24 today and he doesn't even want to think about getting married yet. My mom wanted to know whether she should start looking for a nice girl for him yet, or not. He said no lol.
    Heh. Been there, done that. Every time I go back to my parents place it always inevitably comes up, but that's life I guess.

    But this brought up the topic of our cousin, who has set a date for her wedding this September. This is the 'brutal' part- my mom and brother were talking about her; my brother said she's not pretty, I said she is, my mom said she's not, she's just average. I really disagreed! I think she's pretty! I guess we just have different opinions of pretty.
    My mom was saying how her fiancee is better looking than her... so I'm expecting to see a really hot bloke.
    That's not just an Asian thing, that kind of thing is pretty culturally universal.
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    (Original post by Riba_Info)
    i dont care about the complexion also.
    :rofl:
    TSR has made me laugh all day.
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    I wish my parents would set me up with a hot, rich, kind guy..

    They allow me to choose whoever I want though but they can disapprove if he has qualities that they don't like.. like all parents I think
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    (Original post by Anonymous.)
    2.) I either turn lesbian so they can expect a lady as a daughter in law (plus I am bi and very very un-cultural)
    .
    Hang on, what kind of asian parents don't approve of a guy from a different culture, but would approve of a lesbian girl :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ttx)
    Hang on, what kind of asian parents don't approve of a guy from a different culture, but would approve of a lesbian girl :rolleyes:
    They don't approve of it now - but I don't really care about what they think - trust me I am not the typical girl who is afraid to express her sexuality just because her parents or relatives won't like it. I have been shamed upon enough in the family but I don't care any more.
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    (Original post by Anonymous.)
    I have 3 options if I cannot find my self a decent person by the time I am 30:

    1.) Run away and live with my dogs in the city in my 'so called' very luxurious dream appartment :rolleyes:
    2.) I either turn lesbian so they can expect a lady as a daughter in law (plus I am bi and very very un-cultural)
    3.) I will end up in a mental instituition very lonely

    My parents are very hot on to get me married - they are so so desperate to the point that they went to a poor guy in a shop to get his number to get to know me.

    Bloody hell - I hate my culture. No offence.
    Lol same, just switch the genders. (+ more pressure on me, only male for a while).

    Anywho, I'm surprised the OP hasn't realised this yet. Deal with it. I'm just going to refuse any woman "found" for me. Eew.
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    (Original post by Anonymous.)
    They don't approve of it now - but I don't really care about what they think - trust me I am not the typical girl who is afraid to express her sexuality just because her parents or relatives won't like it.
    Go for it :yep:

    Way too many asian girls (and guys for that matter) let their parents control them and their happiness.

    We should start a soc for it
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    (Original post by ttx)
    Go for it :yep:

    Way too many asian girls (and guys for that matter) let their parents control them and their happiness.

    We should start a soc for it


    I think the soc idea is a brilliant one! Are you bi / gay by any chance? and are your parents quite controlling?

    Just curious
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    urgh I thought times were changing :s:
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    lol yeah this generation of Asian parents will be the last to conduct arranged marriages in this country! Obviously in the Indian villages the tradition will remain strong until the world ends but over here Asian parents will be your dating PA and PR as well as your Bank if required.

    The only thing they want in return is a grandchild!

    Dont put yourself in a position to be scrutinised like that! But remember everyone has opinions like in your house.

    If all else fails then shaadi dot com :p:
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    (Original post by Riba_Info)
    I am a 24 years bangladeshi guy. I am looking for a girl to marry. I want my girl to be smart, educated. She doesn't need to be very preety, but have to be average/normal looking. But must not be ugly. And at last she must have to be an honest and good hearted girl.

    ( I dont prefer very much preety , hot and sexy girls. I want my girl to love me so that we can live happily for ever. I am muslim. But if she is hindu or chirstian I dont care. I dont care about my religion.)
    dude all your looking for is something with a heartbeat essentially, high standards, high 5!!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous.)
    I think the soc idea is a brilliant one! Are you bi / gay by any chance? and are your parents quite controlling?
    Nah, I'm straight. Although my preference for girls tends to be for bi alternative/geek/goth girls . And the overlap between that group and girls my parents approve of is probably close to zero.

    My parents are controllingish but it's not too bad now. I weaned them off the worst of it over a few years. Plus the fact I'm now a good 100 miles away from them and completely independent of them probably helps
 
 
 
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