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Mum throws out all my stuff - how to get her to stop watch

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    Kill her :hmmm:
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    (Original post by Princesschickenbelly)
    This confuses me. Aren't you repeating exactly what tinktinktinkerbell just said as if she never said it?

    I moved out when I was 17. I went on income support until I was 18 when I went on job seekers.
    Nope she said you can move out at 16. The source said 17. Not that it really matters... plus you can't get buy property at that age anyway.
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    I can sympathise, my mum is similar, she thinks she has every right to walk in my room everyday and go through my stuff as if I'm hiding drugs and she's the police. When I get back, nothing is where I left it, everything is "tidy" but in a way in which I'll never find the stuff I need. It's incredibly annoying, I know how to tidy my room so why does just leave me to it?
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    (Original post by GottaLovePhysics! :))
    Chunky lock on the door? Keep her away from your space! Shes being childish.
    She has no right to put a lock on her door. It's not her property.
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    (Original post by Princesschickenbelly)
    This confuses me. Aren't you repeating exactly what tinktinktinkerbell just said as if she never said it?

    I moved out when I was 17. I went on income support until I was 18 when I went on job seekers.
    I don't mean to offend anybody who is on benefits because I think if both parents are trying their best and are struggling it's a good idea, but what's the point in moving out at 17 when you're having to rely on the government. I'm guessing you were at college / 6th form at that age? :confused:
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    I don't know if you want this or not because it might cause a ruckus. Tell her to goto doctors and check if she has OCD or something like that sort. Try talking to her, ask your dad to help..if not ask the school(although i personally really dislike this option).
    I think you are old enough to talk things through with her about how important all these stuff are too you, you are about to go to university or graduate or what so ever, your future depends on your notes, tell her that, make her realize that!
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    (Original post by Pink Bullets)
    She has no right to put a lock on her door. It's not her property.
    I did have a lock that could be locked from the inside of the room before, but my mum took it off because she didn't like having to knock before she comes in.
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    she sounds awful. I'd get really pissed if people ****** around with my stuff. some people have no concept of 'organsised mess'

    as in yes, it might looks like a horrible mess, but at the end of the day I know where MY **** is.

    Least you are moving out on sept. My uni room is way tidyer than my home room though!
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I did have a lock that could be locked from the inside of the room before, but my mum took it off because she didn't like having to knock before she comes in.
    I'd suggest buying a large, movable box and writing your name on it. Then, whenever you need to come in from a lesson or whatever; you put the stuff in that box only

    Ask your Mum not to remove anything from your box, but let her move it to a place more convenient if she finds it is in the way for any reason.Your stuff won't be just left laid on the side, it will be collected together and tidy.

    A good compromise I think. :yep:
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    Sounds like a fan dan tbh.
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    (Original post by Phobia27)
    I can sympathise, my mum is similar, she thinks she has every right to walk in my room everyday and go through my stuff as if I'm hiding drugs and she's the police. When I get back, nothing is where I left it, everything is "tidy" but in a way in which I'll never find the stuff I need. It's incredibly annoying, I know how to tidy my room so why does just leave me to it?
    Atleast she doesn't throw stuff away. I managed to find the guarantee for my graphic calculator in the bin srunched up and ripped but the instruction manual is lost and it's really hard to get the thing to work without it. I can't wait to move out when I go to uni.
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    (Original post by Choccielatte)
    I'd suggest buying a large, movable box and writing your name on it. Then, whenever you need to come in from a lesson or whatever; you put the stuff in that box only

    Ask your Mum not to remove anything from your box, but let her move it to a place more convenient if she finds it is in the way for any reason.Your stuff won't be just left laid on the side, it will be collected together and tidy.

    A good compromise I think. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...milies/yep.gif
    I agree with this. I'm VERY organised and neat, and I like my apartment to be that way, too.

    Mess gets tidied, and things get organised. That's what I do.

    Your entire 'dilemma' comes from the fact that you leave stuff out and make a mess - first your diary/journal, and then everything you threw around when trying to find it. You'd have no problem if you kept the house tidy in the first place.
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I don't mean to offend anybody who is on benefits because I think if both parents are trying their best and are struggling it's a good idea, but what's the point in moving out at 17 when you're having to rely on the government. I'm guessing you were at college / 6th form at that age? :confused:
    I wasn't a parent so I don't know what that has to do with anything.

    I was at college yes, I moved out because me and my mother would have killed each other if I had stayed, I HAD to move out for my own mental stability. I didn't just wake up one day and think "I'm gonna move out today for the fun of it"
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    Atleast she doesn't throw stuff away. I managed to find the guarantee for my graphic calculator in the bin srunched up and ripped but the instruction manual is lost and it's really hard to get the thing to work without it. I can't wait to move out when I go to uni.
    Nah she does throw stuff away, don't think she has got rid of very important stuff (yet..) but very annoying things like letters, bank statements, etc that I do still need and would like to keep.
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    (Original post by cpj1987)
    I agree with this. I'm VERY organised and neat, and I like my apartment to be that way, too.

    Mess gets tidied, and things get organised. That's what I do.

    Your entire 'dilemma' comes from the fact that you leave stuff out and make a mess - first your diary/journal, and then everything you threw around when trying to find it. You'd have no problem if you kept the house tidy in the first place.
    I left it in a mesw because I was in a rush in the morning. I'm a fairly tidy person, and did tell my mum to leave my stuff as she'd end up chucking out stuff I needed. I started tidying my stuff when I got home from college and then went out (piano lesson and swimming) and came back to find my stuff gone, even though I had tidied half of it and had told her it would be tidied. My mum is kinda controlling.
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    maybe thats why she wanted it put away then cause there was a lot of it, you should have either put it away earlier or made time to do it before you left, like i say follow her rules or leave, simple as

    btw 17 isnt too young to move out
    Look, this person is just mad because her mother threw out a lot of her school work. Stop telling her to move out/what she should do with her life etc etc. I find your tone in this post (as another poster has stated) to be very high and mighty. You aren't her mother so don't talk to her like you are. It's just rudeness and she's never done anything wrong to you.
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    (Original post by Phobia27)
    Nah she does throw stuff away, don't think she has got rid of very important stuff (yet..) but very annoying things like letters, bank statements, etc that I do still need and would like to keep.
    Oh and she opens my mail too. She says she mistakes it for hers when it clearly says "Miss" and not "Mrs" just because we have the same initials
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I left it in a mesw because I was in a rush in the morning. I'm a fairly tidy person, and did tell my mum to leave my stuff as she'd end up chucking out stuff I needed. I started tidying my stuff when I got home from college and then went out (piano lesson and swimming) and came back to find my stuff gone, even though I had tidied half of it and had told her it would be tidied. My mum is kinda controlling.
    I do understand that, but had you kept things tidy in the first place you wouldn't have needed to spend that time tidying at all.

    Now, I'm not as bad as your mother. My boyfriend's not the most tidy person in the world, and I do move all his stuff to more suitable places to keep the apartment organised - I'd never throw his things away - but you need to understand things from her point of view, too; she's not going to want to have to walk around seeing the mess that you'll 'get around to later', when it doesn't need to be there.
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    (Original post by cpj1987)
    I do understand that, but had you kept things tidy in the first place you wouldn't have needed to spend that time tidying at all.

    Now, I'm not as bad as your mother. My boyfriend's not the most tidy person in the world, and I do move all his stuff to more suitable places to keep the apartment organised - I'd never throw his things away - but you need to understand things from her point of view, too; she's not going to want to have to walk around seeing the mess that you'll 'get around to later', when it doesn't need to be there.
    Agreed.

    OP; it looks as if you're going to have to either agree to something like the box system I suggested and compromise with your mother. At the end of the day, however frustrating you find her behaviour - it's her house with her rules. By rebelling and acting like this, you only serve to make the situation worse.

    When I'm living at home (currently at Uni), I don't leave things laid around outside of my room because Iknow my Dad will throw things away regardless of whether I've told him they're important or not. I just accepted it, even though it got annoying.

    I really think you're making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. Whether or not they were important things or not, you created the risk of having them thrown away by leaving them there in the first place. You need to take responsibility for your belongings when living with other people - believe me, you'll soon learn this if you go to Uni and live in Halls!

    I suggest you sit down with your mother and come to some sort of agreement - be proactive about the problem and acknowledge you are also at fault here.

    Mess is mess to some people. It's not always obvious to outisders how important some things can be. They just see it as mess for the sake of mess.
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    (Original post by blueshoes123)
    My parents have the opposite problem lol they keep everything, even scrap bits of paper and things that are clearly for the bin :rolleyes:

    Yeah, you'll probably just have to keep everything in your room. That's really extreme though.
    It's 16, some of my friends were in rented flats before GCSEs finished

    But your mum is very anal
 
 
 
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