i know blaming is bad.
it's counterproductive, generates bad feelings, disallows forgiveness.
i can't help it.
we've been dating for about nine months now.
five months ago, because of my mistakes and his, i was forced to move thousands of miles away, to a different continent. my brain screams it's all his fault. i feel like every single memory i have with him is tainted, and had eventually led up to my having to move away. we've had to evolve our relationship into an LDR, and i just. while we're e-mailing or chatting, this tone creeps into my e-mails ims, and he knows what's coming: a fight, or my anger. it's *******-ly of me, but i can't help it. if we're talking and i randomly think about why i'm thousands of miles away from my hometown, i get really cross and resentful, and i give him heaps of s**t for it- i'll randomly bring up how it's all his fault and whatever.
yeah, i'm really bitter. i'm really resentful, and sometimes, i really hate him.
-bitterness over something that you think was not your fault. did you end up
(not gonna ask "her/him/yourself" cause eventually, we all forgive ourselves.
unless it's something huge.)
-forgiveness. (i'm hoping to achieve this over time, so i told him i wanted a break,
cause i was tired of lashing out and hurting him.)
-consolation/advice? always welcomed.
it hurts, not talking to him. i figured the only thing that'll give this relationship a chance to be happy and successful is to get me to get over my resentment and bitterness somehow. i'm hoping over time and no-contact with him, i'll get over it. what do you think?
...we were on a break