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    #1

    Hypothetical situation:

    Last year you fell in love with a guy in the year above you at university. You had an amazing relationship with him, he seemed the perfect guy and made you really happy.

    Then, at the end of last summer, he suddenly stopped calling, stopped texting, no explanation actually nothing at all. You spend the whole summer waiting, wandering what the hell is going on, he made promises to see you but now won't even reply to you on facebook?

    You go back to uni and he breaks it up officially. You actually hate him for a whole term but have to stay 'friends' due to mutual connections. You think the way he acted was childless and that he should have just told you earlier instead of ignoring you.

    Then, a week ago he tells you that he is still in love with you, and that he gets so jealous when he sees other guys near you. He is ultra apologetic and cant give an explanation to why he acted the way he did but he knows it was wrong and feels awful about it and says you're the only person he can see being with and has missed you

    He is being sincere and definately not the type of guy who would say these things if he didn't mean it. He wants to take things slow and treat you well. He has offered to come and cook for you later this week.

    You really do still like him deep down but he hurt you bad.

    Do you let him try again? Do you give him another chance?
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    I'd get down to the bottom of why he ignored you so long before you make a decision. Otherwise he might do it again.

    Actually knowing me, I'd welcome him with open arms, but that's what I'd LIKE to do
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    I wouldn't, no. He's not the only guy out there and he's already proved what an arse he can be. I'd rather find someone else.

    I would, however, want a real explanation from him. He must know why he did it, maybe he's not telling you the reason because it would hurt you and ruin any chance of getting back together. He honestly sounds like he's playing games, or he's come back to you because whatever happened over the summer, maybe seeing another girl, didn't work out.
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    I'd probably take him back. However, that's probably not the sensible thing to do.
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    no way, someone did something similar to my friend and all i can think is the cheek of him!!!
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    I wouldn't. If he really loved you I don't think he would have ignored you for so long, he would have realised he'd made a mistake sooner. If there was a good explanation for the way he behaved he would have no reason not to tell you it. I think hes either jealous of seeing you with other guys, wants sex, or both.
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    Nope.
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    find out why. there's no way there just wasn't a reason. the real reason will probably hurt, but you have to find out what it is. and tell him you won't have anything to do with him until he tells you. that way you can move on and get on with whatever you want to do with the situation, instead of mindlessly wondering why he did it, it'll be on your mind for a long time, even if you don't realize it.
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    I realise I'm not contributing anything to this thread, but I found it rather wierd the way you phrased it all in the 3rd person, even if it was appropriate for the situation and question you were asking =P
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    no i wouldnt forgive him, nor would i wait around for some man to call me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is ultra apologetic and cant give an explanation to why he acted the way he did but he knows it was wrong and feels awful about it and says you're the only person he can see being with and has missed you.
    Unless he can give the reason, and prove it no longer exists. Don't take him back, no way.

    Exes can only work if the reason behind the first break-up is resolved. You don't even know the reason, and if he doesn't either - he will inevitably hurt you again.
    • #2
    #2

    I wouldn't forgive someone like that straight off.
    The exact same thing has happened to me before with a girl. I welcomed her back, only to later find out that during the period of "not calling not texting" etc. she'd been with someone else. So basically I was just her "backup".

    So learning from that mistake - I'd demand a thorough, believable explanation of why he was ignoring you. Do NOT forgive him just like that, without him explaining why he did what he did.
    • #3
    #3

    Tbh, sometimes I don't want to call/text people for a while. It might not mean he was seeing another girl or anything sinister. Just bear that in mind.
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    Nope I wouldn't give him a second chance. They way he stopped talking, no explanation or anything is awful. How rude! I would never get back with an ex in the first place. If it didn't work first time round, why should it second time round?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then, at the end of last summer, he suddenly stopped calling, stopped texting, no explanation actually nothing at all. You spend the whole summer waiting, wandering what the hell is going on, he made promises to see you but now won't even reply to you on facebook?
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is being sincere and definitely not the type of guy who would say these things if he didn't mean it.
    Really? He promises to see you but doesn't and he isn't the kind of guy who would say things he doesn't mean? :rolleyes:
    To answer your question: its simple NO unless he told me the real reason as to why he broke up with me.
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    I agree with above who say that unless he can give you a reason why he acted the way he did then he has no right to come and ask for you back. If I had to guess what really happened I'd say chances are he found someone else who was 'more interesting' at the time but that didnt work out. Maybe a holiday romance or something. You need to find out the exact reason and unless he can tell you something satisfactory then he's hiding something, maybe not as major as my guess, but he's not givine you the whole picture.
    I made the mistake of forgiving someone for something not quite like that, but on the same level, and it came back to bite me in the ass and ruined the first semester of university for me. Be sure is all I'm saying, if you're doubting after talking to him more then its probably best to pass it up and move on.

    Reading that back it sounds harsh, but in my honest opinion forgiving him will make the fall much greater if it doesnt work again. I wish you good luck, and I hope it does work out for you in the end, if not with him then with someone else in the near future.

    Good luck.
 
 
 
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