Anon or delete please, friends use this
Me and my girlfriend have been together now for about three and a half months, up until this week everything was great, brilliant. We are at uni, and went to stay with each others families over christmas break, and I can honestly say that that time was the happiest I can remember being in a long time. Over this period my feelings for her developed, and I told her that I loved her, and she did the same back to me. I have always said it more than she has, but she still said it sometimes.
Ever since the beginning of this uni term, she has had lots of work, and so we haven't been able to see each other very often at all. What is frustrating for me is that I feel she could make more of an effort to make time for me. She goes out clubbing usually two or three times a week, which I'm sure she could cut down on. I rarely go out because of sporting comittments which require me to be up very early every morning to train.
This we went out for a flatmates birthday on monday night, came back early and spent the night together, then she said she would see me on Tuesday night but then bailed as she said she had too much work to do. Then on Wednesday she came over to mine in the evening to see me, but she wasn't herself and seemed very down. I asked her what was the matter and she said she was down because she felt very distant from me as we had hardly seen each other this term, and she couldn't see it changing for a few weeks at least. During this evening I told her I loved her twice, to which she didn't say it back, which worried me. She left at about half 9 as she said she wanted to ring her mum, but then texted me later, in which she said 'Love you'. On thursday we couldn't see each other during the day but we both went at night with different groups of friends. My friends went home at about 1 so I found her in the club she was in. I was quite drunk, and felt so emotional that I actually started crying a bit in the club. Again, we came home and spent the night together. On Friday her mum came to visit from home, we spent a couple of hours together before this, then I went for a meal with her and her mum in the evening. On friday I felt she was a little distant, for example when we walk we usually hold hands or walk arm in arm, but she was walking along some of the time with her arms folded. Again I said 'I love you' to which she didn't say it back.
This evening she was going out with her friends but came over to see me briefly before she went out. During this time I told her how I was feeling, that I missed seeing her so much and asked her why she was so down. I know that her gran is ill and she is a bit down about that but I still got/get the feeling something else is bothering her. Again I said 'I love you' and got no response. I asked her why she hadn't been saying it back recently and she said she was unsure of what it actually meant. We then had a discussion about what we felt it meant and how we felt about each other. She said she did love me but felt uneasy saying it as she was unsure of what it meant. I think partly because of past relationships not being great for her. And also because of her parents fragile relationship.
Turn on thread page Beta
Relationship advice - just venting a bit :( watch
- Thread Starter
- 06-02-2010 23:04
- Thread Starter
- 06-02-2010 23:09
Sorry hit the post button a bit early. But yeah what do you think I should do? I'm really unsure of where this relationship is going now. Only two a week ago it seemed everything was great, she said that she felt closer to me than anyone before, and was quite affectionate. But now this has changed completely it seems. We said we'd see each other tomorrow night but I can imagine her saying she has too much work to do or something! I don't know what to do or say to try and make things better/back to how they were before.
Thank you for reading, any advice/help much apprectiated!
- 06-02-2010 23:13
Maybe she is just scared of losing you because her gran is ill it might have just made her a bit distant.
- 06-02-2010 23:21
Uni is bound to put a strain on any relationship but if your strong enough you will work.
Dont give up if you love her , shes probably just worried about getting hurt.
Sometimes one the words 'i love you' start to be used at the point where you realise if anything happens now your going to get hurt. So she could be scared.
Or, you could love her and maybe shes just not ready for that kind of commitment. It dosen't all work at the same pace give her time and if your meant to be your meant to be