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changing for your partner watch

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    I wouldn't change much for my boyfriend. However, I have stopped wearing make-up since being with him, as he says he prefers me not to (I only wore a bit of natural foundation and blusher before). That's the one thing that's changed about me that wouldn't otherwise have happened.
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    (Original post by cpj1987)
    I wouldn't change much for my boyfriend. However, I have stopped wearing make-up since being with him, as he says he prefers me not to (I only wore a bit of natural foundation and blusher before). That's the one thing that's changed about me that wouldn't otherwise have happened.
    Same here. I didn't really mind not wearing make-up as often ( I still put some on for special occasions but only eye make-up) but I don't think I would change much else for my boyfriend. If I wanted to change anything major about myself, it would always have to be for me, not for anyone else.
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    I wouldn't change anything that wasn't reasonably logical to change anyway.

    For example:

    - My health etc.

    They can jog on.

    <3
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    (Original post by fidel69)
    no offence mate but are you that naive to put up with someone telling you what to do and being under their thumb just because you "love" them... thats bs, mother father, brother sister, maybe because you cant change them but tbh a gf, you can always get another one, sounds like im a bit of a d*** but honestly i would rather be dead than be in a relationship where im under thumb... im sure you could find a girl where youre screwing her, rather then her screwin you

    I know mate, she isn't so controlling that i cant get out of the relationship, i just dont want to cus shes awesome and a great laugh etc +hot caring and all that.
    nah you aint a **** lol, your oppinions valued (you just say what most my mates say).
    We've broke up now and then but get back - i know if she gets over the top she can be changed for someone else. But atm i aint ready for that thanks anywho
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    I wouldn't gain weight for my boyfriend, I'd lose it if I was overweight but currently if he asked me to lose any I'd be a bit :lolwut:

    I would change aspects of personality if they were generally bad and should be changed anyway - e.g if I was really controlling or irritable then of course I'd try and change that because they're pretty negative traits, but in general I wouldn't change my personality.

    Nor dress sense, way of living etc.

    Basically anything that could be logically changed that negatively effects our relationship or isn't fair on him I would make an effort to change :yep:
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    I'm trying to lose weight, but I thats mostly for me, I just know my boyfriend would like it too, and he's trying to lose weight too (even though I love his body).

    I'm also growing my hair longer, but was always going to do that after I cut it short last year, my boyfriend just said he'd like it longer too.

    I don't want my boyfriend to change, maybe buy some more clothes, but I even like him playing COD every now and then

    Though my ex only ever wanted me to wear black, and certain outfits, and didnt want me to get my hair cut or my ear pierced again. I did all of those things within the first few months of us splitting up (bought new clothes to go out in), as well as then dying my hair bright red and sleeping with the guy that he always thought I fancied. YAY REVENGE!
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    Things I would change:
    - Opinions if challenged and realised they were wrong
    - Habits - if he really disliked my bad habits
    - Appearance - hair style, weight etc
    - Location - would be willing to move within reason i.e. probably not out of the country
    - Job - would be willing to change job
    - Interests - I would be willing to pursue his interests
    - Abilities - I would be willing to e.g. learn how to cook well etc

    Things I would not be willing to change:
    - Core values/personality
    - Appearance - never anything serious like cosmetic surgery/tatoos etc
    - Location - unwilling to move abroad
    - Friends/family - I would be unwilling to change my friends or family if he didn't like them

    EDIT this is from the view point of a 4 year relationship in my 20s
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    i believe that a person should only change for themselves.

    but if someone wanted me to change and i could see its for my benefit or its good for me then i guess thats ok

    but changing things like weight, look, personality (to an extreme) is not ok
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    (Original post by tourist)
    Things I would change:
    - Opinions if challenged and realised they were wrong
    - Habits - if he really disliked my bad habits
    - Appearance - hair style, weight etc
    - Location - would be willing to move within reason i.e. probably not out of the country
    - Job - would be willing to change job
    - Interests - I would be willing to pursue his interests
    - Abilities - I would be willing to e.g. learn how to cook well etc

    Things I would not be willing to change:
    - Core values/personality
    - Appearance - never anything serious like cosmetic surgery/tatoos etc
    - Location - unwilling to move abroad
    - Friends/family - I would be unwilling to change my friends or family if he didn't like them

    EDIT this is from the view point of a 4 year relationship in my 20s
    Wish my gf would pursue my interests lol... shes younger then me and hasnt got a clue what she wants to do. In my professon i have to move away from where i am at uni cus there isnt the work for it.
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    I wouldn't sacrifice my personality for a partner. I don't think I would

    I try too hard (I think) to please and change myself for just everybody generally. I don't think you ought to consciously attempt to change your actual *self* for a person.. because then who you are becomes a bit of a facade and it makes you miserable.

    But.. everybody will change gradually and unconsciously as the experience things and grow with their partner. Like a slow intertwining. That must be why it rips so much to break up.

    I am willing to change my perceptions for a partner. For example in sex. At first (for me anyway) you are cautious/nervous and not very open to new things. But together with your partner, you change your perceptions and become more open. Sometimes even ones you were initially uncomfortable with. I think that is a healthy/happy way to go about a sexual relationship - and involves change.

    Also.. for example - my boyfriend likes football. I've never been interested in it, and have always thought it was kinda stupid (haha I still tease him about it, and I'm not really personally interested in it, still) but I'm willing to change my attitude (gah! stupid boring football match) and sit down and watch it with him and it's actually quite fun.

    I wouldn't change massive life-fulfilling plans for a partner (ie: what to study at uni).. but I include my boyfriend in my plans.. and if we became serious I imagine there would be quite a lot of changes to my career plan that I would be willing to make (ie: taking up a job somewhere we both want to live).

    I wouldn't change things on the silly whim of a partner. But I will change things to please him. Since being with him I am more interested in being attractive.. but that's kind of for both of us. And it's not like he's asked me to change my appearance (I haven't really).

    There's quite a lot of things I/you would change I think if you thought about it. Haha this post is so badly organised.
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    (Original post by SFsuck)
    Been under the thumb to my gf for 2 years, i put my foot down now and then when she gets too controlling eg. starts telling me how to spend or not to spend money i dont have etc.

    I would change that about her and change it so shes under my thumb instead hehe :P

    nah but on a serious note i love her and thats the only thing id change about her (dont tell her i said that though she'll rip my head off :P)

    oh shoot answered the thread wrong haha! would i change anything about myself for her.. erm... maybe if the reason was valid enough but i concider myself perfect for her atm

    things i wouldnt change for my partner

    weight
    getting tattoos
    my mind on having a baby (dont want one either0
    i like my hair now (dyed it red couple years ago, worst decision of my life lol) +i like it spikey
    the fact im a boy lol

    things i would change

    my style can suck at time (im a student what u expect with no money)
    my car cus it also sucks lol
    erm... my bedsheets
    but didnt you say you wanted a sex change but wouldnt because of him
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    (Original post by rain4475)
    but didnt you say you wanted a sex change but wouldnt because of him

    huh? thats under wouldnt change.. what you on about? lol
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    (Original post by SFsuck)
    huh? thats under wouldnt change.. what you on about? lol
    shes not being who she really wants to be because of him (not becoming her true self for him is kind of the same as turning into something else for him)
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    i sort of would, if something really bothered him, and it wasnt like an integral part of my life.
    hair colour and tattoos arent very big in my life.
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    (Original post by rain4475)
    shes not being who she really wants to be because of him (not becoming her true self for him is kind of the same as turning into something else for him)
    Again im still lost, can we start over?
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    (Original post by SFsuck)
    Again im still lost, can we start over?
    yes we can

    she said that she wanted a sex change a while ago but she wouldnt because her boyfriend doesnt want her to/wouldnt be with her (something like that)
    yet shes saying that she wouldnt change much FOR him.

    therefore she ISN'T being her true self by not getting a sex change, simply because this is what her boyfriend wants (not being who she wants to be)
    that is the same as changing and becoming something that she ISN'T because her boyfriend prefers it that way (not being who she wants to be)

    im horrific at explaining things, sorry
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    (Original post by tourist)
    Things I would change:
    - Opinions if challenged and realised they were wrong
    - Habits - if he really disliked my bad habits
    - Appearance - hair style, weight etc
    - Location - would be willing to move within reason i.e. probably not out of the country
    - Job - would be willing to change job
    - Interests - I would be willing to pursue his interests
    - Abilities - I would be willing to e.g. learn how to cook well etc

    Things I would not be willing to change:
    - Core values/personality
    - Appearance - never anything serious like cosmetic surgery/tatoos etc
    - Location - unwilling to move abroad
    - Friends/family - I would be unwilling to change my friends or family if he didn't like them

    EDIT this is from the view point of a 4 year relationship in my 20s
    This is pretty perfect really. Well said!

    I see no problem whatsoever with compromise if you're happy to do it, and it would improve the relationship without vitally changing who you both were.
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    (Original post by rain4475)
    yes we can

    she said that she wanted a sex change a while ago but she wouldnt because her boyfriend doesnt want her to/wouldnt be with her (something like that)
    yet shes saying that she wouldnt change much FOR him.

    therefore she ISN'T being her true self by not getting a sex change, simply because this is what her boyfriend wants (not being who she wants to be)
    that is the same as changing and becoming something that she ISN'T because her boyfriend prefers it that way (not being who she wants to be)

    im horrific at explaining things, sorry
    Well you've explained that situation to me fine so you cant be that bad. But im not sure how this relates to me? lol... I dont want to be a girl
    Am i getting the wrong end of this?
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    (Original post by SFsuck)
    Well you've explained that situation to me fine so you cant be that bad. But im not sure how this relates to me? lol... I dont want to be a girl
    Am i getting the wrong end of this?
    yeah i think you are..
    it relates to OP, because i questioned her about the sex change and you said "huh? thats under wouldnt change.. what you on about? lol "

    which is why im now explaining it..
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    Your complicated...

    I like the cut of your jib
    and hi lol
 
 
 
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