This is a bit of a long story so I'll just jump straight in. (I'm a guy btw)
Over a year ago I moved away from home to start uni. This meant I ended up breaking up with my ex who I loved so much. I also didn't really like uni at all, and both of these combined meant I wished I'd never gone at all.
I was feeling pretty depressed at the time and ended up having a few one night stands. One of these was with a girl who lives back in my home town, who I met on a night out. We ended up meeting several other times, for what as far as I was concerned was casual sex. Then we got more and more friendly with eachother, texting a lot etc, and seeing eachother more and more, till after a few months she said she thought she loved me ... At the time I had no idea wtf to do so I ended up saying I loved her too, despite the fact that I don't. I just had no idea how to reject her at the time, and really didn't want to upset her.
This has carried on, and we basically act like a couple now, and I think she probably does love me, the only problem is that I really don't love her, despite wanting to. She's a great person, and has probably become one of my best friends but that's all... This has been going on for like 10 months now too. To top it all off her dad's terminally ill too, so I fell like there's no way I'd want to upset her even more, or make her feel bad.
I just feel like I'm lying to myself though, if I'm honest I don't love her, but I also don't want to lose her as a friend. What should I do?
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- Thread Starter
- 07-02-2010 02:55
- 07-02-2010 03:01
read this post word for word to her. all the best.
- 07-02-2010 03:03
Dude iv been in similar situations. iv been with my gf for 2 years now and i broke up with her when her dad was in hospital (despite actually loving her) however, you need to tell her how you feel and see things.
Cant really do much else without letting yourself down or being a complete asswhole to her.
Im sure she'll understand. Goodluck
- 07-02-2010 03:04
Marry her and keep all your feelings locked up forever.
- 07-02-2010 03:11
this is difficult.
if i were her i think i would want to know the truth .. even if it hurts me because here she is putting all this effort into a relationship that she thinks is going somewhere when it isnt.
plus you are just torturing yourself by lying about your true feelings.
You messed up by lying to her in the first place so you owe it to her to tell her the truth and hopefully she can forgive you- granted this may take some time for her to get over.
the fact that her dad is ill is sad but there is never realli a good time or place to break up with anyone :P
just dont do it over the phone - thats insensitive
you should go out with her telling her that you needed to talk and then explain everything to her.
in the end it may or may not work out but at least you know that you were honest and you're no longer trapped in a relationship you dont want to be in.
plus if you continue to show her support during this hard time with her dad then who knows she may just forgive you and you will become friends again
- 07-02-2010 03:16
either that or want to kill you
edit: girls dont forgot when you lie to them- i didnt tell my gf that my best mate was a girl and that i had slept with her (a year before i even met her) and she emailed me seeing how i was a year or so ago. Havent yet lived it down lol. Try to protect their feelings and you get hit across the face with a wet fish... if your a guys its lose lose for us i feel.Last edited by SFsuck; 07-02-2010 at 03:18.
- 07-02-2010 03:40
be honest and break up. You shouldn't be in a relationship you don't want and since she's such a great girl she deserves to be with someone who loves her not just as a friend, esp. now that she needs all the support she can get.