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Ok now i got myself into a situation.HE IS 50, PLEASE HELP ME

Anonymous

So im 22, ive always had this guy friend who is 50 (i know i know, you are going to think im a complete sicko, but hear me out) we have never done anything sexual just friends, gave me life advice/mentoring etc.

But we are attracted to one another, he is older than my dad and he has suggested that, because it was just be weird to have sex...we should just watch each other masterbate. Part of me really wants to because its a bit kinky but then i think HANG ON A SECOND thats just sick.

And now im sitting here worried that i should even be thinking about wanting to, can you imagine if my friends found out? But then i just think i want to, its not sex we wont be touching each other, a bit like a porno.

O GOD whats wrong with me...please talk reason to me, please!

In other countries, adults together with large age gaps are very common.

If you love eachother, do not worry! Are you attracted to him? Then don't worry. It's fine. It's fine to have sex with him. It's fine whatever. Age doesn't have to be a barrier to love :smile:

Reply 21

Pink Bullets

15

Muffin.

Am I the only I who doesn't think this is a troll? :confused:

but OP yeah that is a bit wrong but ultimately it's up to you.

As far as I can tell, it's a case of two adults wanting to have a sexual relationship with each other? What's wrong about that?

Reply 22

Miss_Scarlet

17

That is a bit odd, if you're not going to have sex... he may just be using you. If he isn't, then you shouldn't care what other people think and actually have a relationship if you want. But just that, may make things weird.

I don't see any problem with the age gap, in fact I prefer significantly older men myself. However, judging by your post, maybe you are too immature to deal with this sort of thing and should perhaps move on?

Reply 23

Colour Me Pretty

15

Anonymous

You are a ****** up troll to even be posting such sick stuff.
What next ? Anal sex with a 99 year old ?
Sick.

Get off your high horse
and while your at it stop hiding behind anon posts.

Op I wouldn't advise you to do this;
because you may think it's only be masturbating,
but one thing may lead to another and your friendship could be ruined.

I think he could have had a hidden agenda from the start anyway,
keep your clothes on and your legs crossed.

Reply 24

FrayedEndsOfSanity

Anonymous

So im 22, ive always had this guy friend who is 50 (i know i know, you are going to think im a complete sicko, but hear me out) we have never done anything sexual just friends, gave me life advice/mentoring etc.

But we are attracted to one another, he is older than my dad and he has suggested that, because it was just be weird to have sex...we should just watch each other masterbate. Part of me really wants to because its a bit kinky but then i think HANG ON A SECOND thats just sick.

And now im sitting here worried that i should even be thinking about wanting to, can you imagine if my friends found out? But then i just think i want to, its not sex we wont be touching each other, a bit like a porno.

O GOD whats wrong with me...please talk reason to me, please!

if ur attracted to him then the age gap shouldnt be a problem yeh its odd that's the older than your dad but these things happen .. in many societies too.

what i found odd was that the 'watching' is worse than the 'doing'. it seems dirtier. having said that, dont do anything ur not comfortable with whatever it may be.

Reply 25

Anonymous #2

I think some of the posts on the first page are a bit crazy, it's not as if he's an old man at 50. I'm 19 and having sex with someone of a similar age, but it's nothing more than that really. I don't think there's anything sick about it if you want to do it, but if you think it would be too weird maybe it's best to just stay normal friends.

Reply 26

Pink Bullets

15

patientology

Am I the only one who can't see the problem?

Most of the people replying are children, so it's natural that they see it as wrong. Problem is, they've extrapolated the whole 'don't have sex with adults' thing to people who are actually adults too. :s-smilie:

Reply 27

FrayedEndsOfSanity

Pink Bullets

Most of the people replying are children, so it's natural that they see it as wrong. Problem is, they've extrapolated the whole 'don't have sex with adults' thing to people who are actually adults too. :s-smilie:

agree

Reply 28

daytona01

the big question is;

Are you attracted to him or are you feeling vulnerable enough to find anyone who shows you a shred of interest attractive?

Theres a decent chance that he has picked up on your insecurities and offered his help on developing your relationship.

The fact that your hooking up with a 50 year old and not someone of your own age implies one of 2 things for me;

1. Your insecure and have trouble finding interest from people your own age

2. Your genuinely attracted to him.

And i can't offer you advice until you say which is most accurate... in fact you will refute point 1 if it is valid so there isn't even a point in asking.

GL though

Reply 29

Anonymous #3

Too much potential for being taken advantage of. don't do it

Reply 30

reisen

9

Pink Bullets

Most of the people replying are children, so it's natural that they see it as wrong. Problem is, they've extrapolated the whole 'don't have sex with adults' thing to people who are actually adults too. :s-smilie:

This is exactly what I thought as I read the replies. It surprised me that so many people thought she was a troll because it was so "perverted" and "disgusting". I think it would be better to actually sleep with him that just watch each other cos that seems like "doing it with your eyes closed" which really isn't a solution to feeling uncomfortable with real physical intimacy.

Reply 31

fredscarecrow

18

Do only what you feel comfortable with. I know someone who has had a sexual relationship with someone older than that, and she's the same age as me. Whilst we see it as unusual, we don't judge her for it at all - we've met him and he's a lovely man.
Just be aware that your family might take it badly - hers certainly did.

Reply 32

ipulledhermione

Anonymous

So im 22, ive always had this guy friend who is 50 (i know i know, you are going to think im a complete sicko, but hear me out) we have never done anything sexual just friends, gave me life advice/mentoring etc.

But we are attracted to one another, he is older than my dad and he has suggested that, because it was just be weird to have sex...we should just watch each other masterbate. Part of me really wants to because its a bit kinky but then i think HANG ON A SECOND thats just sick.

And now im sitting here worried that i should even be thinking about wanting to, can you imagine if my friends found out? But then i just think i want to, its not sex we wont be touching each other, a bit like a porno.

O GOD whats wrong with me...please talk reason to me, please!

You'r both consenting adults, so iy should be perfectly okay to. And no one would blink an eye if he were 30 odd years younger. But look, you yourself are having second thoughts, if you aren't completely 100% sure that you should then don't. Imagine regretting it later but always having the memory of his shrivelled old wangatang embedded in your head.

If you are sure that you want to, and are okay with what the possible consequences are then go for it. Otherwise be careful, you don;t want to scar yourself!

Reply 33

Anonymous #4

I have been intimate with a 58 year old man for over 6 months now- it's been the best relationship I've ever had. He's attractive, he's caring, he looks after me, I feel safe with him and the sex is amazing. If you're attracted to him go for it - there's a 40 year age gap between us and we're happy!

Reply 34

sweeter than a cherry pie

13

giran

Is this person married, does he have any children?

This is a good point actually - is he single?
Even if so, is this purely a sexual thing, or could you see yourself pursuing a relationship with him?

EDIT: Quote fail. :frown:

Reply 35

257532

I don't see the problem to be honest. You're obviously unsure though, so be careful and don't rush into a decision. If you trust this man completely and feel comfortable with him, then I would go for it. Just as long as you won't look back and think you have been used. Good luck with making your decision, and this is something private between you and him so I wouldn't worry what others think. :smile:

Reply 36

CSI_HIRO

I don't understand why everyone's giving this girl a hard time.
she hasn't actually done anything. She's come here for advice as she can't ask anyone she knows.

I think it is understandable she has a crush on a 50 year old .. (tons of girls at uni have crushes on lecturers that are that old)..anyway he gave her advice/mentoring and when she trusted him he's trying to push that into something more

personally i think that you shouldn't do it.. as this will make your feelings stronger and probably lead to sex. I also think you need to back away from him a bit and get some friends your own age.

just my 2 cents.

Reply 37

x In Love Again x

Anonymous

I have been intimate with a 58 year old man for over 6 months now- it's been the best relationship I've ever had. He's attractive, he's caring, he looks after me, I feel safe with him and the sex is amazing. If you're attracted to him go for it - there's a 40 year age gap between us and we're happy!