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    My girlfriend met up with me last Sunday to tell me she had feelings for another boy. This has already happened before, about a month or two ago, and I groveled and cried and moaned for her to take me back. In the short term, that didn't work, but then she suddenly came back to me and promised she would never put me through that again, however she has.

    I wasn't very shocked to be completely honest, as the previous week had been full of pointless squabbles over MSN and texts, which actually had nothing to do with our relationship. I saw her the Thursday before she broke up with me, and she kissed/hugged me and she always did, but was a bit tentative at times, I just presumed it was because she was on her period and she was in a bad mood. The night after I saw her, she had found out that one of my friends had told me to break it off with her, and thinking that I was hiding this from her, took it out on me. I then didn't speak to her for couple of days leading up to Sunday when she said she 'had something to tell me, and wasn't prepared to text it'.

    Anyway when she said she had feelings for the other boy again, I told her to take some time to think about things, because this would be her last chance, and she can't continue to bounce back and forward like this and keep hurting me. I said I wouldn't speak to her until next Sunday (today), because that it how things would be from now on.

    Some of her friends had told me that she is going out for dinner with the other boy for Valentines Day, which hurts me so much, as this was going to be the day I asked her to be my girlfriend again, after a month of seeing each other following the previous break up.

    Let me add that this boy had tried his hardest to f**k up my relationship with her, and has pretty much succeeded. He is probably the lowest of the low, in pretty much every sense, and has a reputation for being a ****.

    Also, I am a first year at Sixth-Form, whereas they are both still at school in Year 11, and are both going to my college next year. And also she is very emotionally fragile i.e. she has crazy mood swings, considering she fell sooo hard in love with me, she was crazy about me.

    So, my question is;

    Today is the day that we were meant to review the situation. How do I go about this?

    1. How do I initiate contact? (text/phonecall/email/turn up out of the blue)

    2. Where do I meet her? (i met her at the rec near her house last sunday and tbh it was a pretty bad place for a talk like that)

    3. What do I say to her? (both when initiating contact and when i actually meet her)

    I know this is a bit long winded, but any advice is sooooo appreciated. I pretty much have nobody to turn to for help, all my friends think the whole thing is stupid.

    Cheers in advance XXX
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    Meet her? I wouldnt go near her with a 10 foot barge pole. Cut all contact with her.
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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    Meet her? I wouldnt go near her with a 10 foot barge pole. Cut all contact with her.
    Please bare in mind that I am still in love with her, and would pretty much do anything to have her back.
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    (Original post by G8D)
    Phone

    Somewhere impersonal, also don't go to a house or for food.

    Don't say anything, it's her that needs to answer to you on this one.


    TBH from what you have told us about her she doesn't sound particularly worth it..
    Pretty much agree with this. You want to be somewhere neutral, but not somewhere where either of you feels forced to stay.
    Phoning is better because its personal, and she can't pretend she didnt get the message.
    You could maybe try explaining again to her how you feel, but its not you thats doing the messing around so don't do all the work.

    And well, I completely agree with the above, she really doesnt seem worth your while if she's making like a boomerang.
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    (Original post by awtaylor)
    Please bare in mind that I am still in love with her, and would pretty much do anything to have her back.
    I'm sure thats true, but it doesnt change anything. Do you actually think she feels the same way about you, considering the way she has treated you? Have some dignity. You are worth more than this.
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    I really wouldn't bother. She's obviously messed you around a lot, and she's not worth it. As well as that her "crazy mood swings" are probably her being too young to handle a relationship at the moment. I wouldn't bother with her, and move on. She'll just hurt you again and again, and apparently, you're going to take it from her. Man up and leave her.

    EDIT: How long were you with her?
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    (Original post by linkdapink)
    EDIT: How long were you with her?
    Almost 5 months, and it was love at first sight which is why I don't think we could be friends.
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    (Original post by awtaylor)
    Almost 5 months, and it was love at first sight which is why I don't think we could be friends.
    To be honest, 5 months isn't that long, but I know how it must feel for you. I've had my heart broken in a similar way (ex cheated on me), and I know it hurts like hell. The best thing I ever did was cut contact because every time I went back to him I would just get hurt over and over again.
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    If you really are going through with this, prepared to be hurt again, then here's my advice:

    Meet in a cafe. It's neutral - nobody feels less at home then the other. It's public, so if a squabble does break out it's less likely to become so intense. And last but not least, if anything you or her buys does get wasted due to a squabble or whatever, then it won't have cost much. (Plus you can still be the gentleman and buy for her, if you want).

    I have to admit that by now I would probably just meet with her and tell her that it's over while she's playing games. But if you really can't do that then just explain, in a harsh but fair way, that you're not interested in being messed about again. If I were you I'd get in there first when you start talking otherwise you might not manage to express what you really feel. Do tell her that you love her if this is the case, but make sure you tell he that you're not afraid to end things if it feels like you're getting hurt again.

    Hope all goes well dude. If she screws you over again, please just cut all ties with her. It really doesn;t sound like you're the kind of guy who deserves to be messed around.
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    wait for her to contact you and if she doesn't then it's over. Don't get back with her, it's just going to keep happening
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    If you really are going through with this, prepared to be hurt again, then here's my advice:

    Meet in a cafe. It's neutral - nobody feels less at home then the other. It's public, so if a squabble does break out it's less likely to become so intense. And last but not least, if anything you or her buys does get wasted due to a squabble or whatever, then it won't have cost much. (Plus you can still be the gentleman and buy for her, if you want).

    I have to admit that by now I would probably just meet with her and tell her that it's over while she's playing games. But if you really can't do that then just explain, in a harsh but fair way, that you're not interested in being messed about again. If I were you I'd get in there first when you start talking otherwise you might not manage to express what you really feel. Do tell her that you love her if this is the case, but make sure you tell he that you're not afraid to end things if it feels like you're getting hurt again.

    Hope all goes well dude. If she screws you over again, please just cut all ties with her. It really doesn;t sound like you're the kind of guy who deserves to be messed around.
    The cafe idea sounds promising, but I don't want her to be reluctant to come out with me, because I have said nothing to her for a week and she has gone off with another boy etc etc etc. If you were in the position she was in, would you feel uncomfortable?

    At least if I did go out with her for a couple of hours or so she would have more of a reason to think about her decision, and I could sort of mess with her mind a bit (in a fair way!). For example we always have to have 'the last kiss', and if I managed that at exactly the right moment maybe something will be sparked again.

    What should I do by contacting her? Should I text her like...
    heyy do you fancy coming out for a couple of hours today?

    What do you think? XXX
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    i like he idea of going to talk to her but dont try and do 'a last kiss'..just make it a talk where you settle everything and see whether you're good for each other or not..imo you dont..if she has feeligns for another guy then thats dangerous territory for you because even if you get back together AGAIN it wont be the same and her mind is going to be all over this new guy
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    I think you two should just break up. If you take her back again she'll think your a push over and can do it again because she knows you'll take her back again.
    I think it's better to do it over the phone, face to face will make you feel guilty when you don't have to.
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    okay, she said she's busy today, but i told her i'd ring her later.

    this is going to be really awkward LOLLL what do i do!? X
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    You'll get over it. She's sounds like a ****.
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    (Original post by awtaylor)
    The cafe idea sounds promising, but I don't want her to be reluctant to come out with me, because I have said nothing to her for a week and she has gone off with another boy etc etc etc. If you were in the position she was in, would you feel uncomfortable?

    At least if I did go out with her for a couple of hours or so she would have more of a reason to think about her decision, and I could sort of mess with her mind a bit (in a fair way!). For example we always have to have 'the last kiss', and if I managed that at exactly the right moment maybe something will be sparked again.

    What should I do by contacting her? Should I text her like...
    heyy do you fancy coming out for a couple of hours today?

    What do you think? XXX
    I wouldn't feel uncomfortable no. I'd feel much better meeting you in a cafe rather than meeting at your house, for example.

    The last kiss might sound nice, but if I were you I'd try and be a little more innocent, perhaps kiss her cheek. Or just give her a peck on the lips... I can't really explain why

    Ring her. It shows much more willing than a text and she's less able to dodge what you put :yes: At least then you can hear her true feelings.

    If all this happened today then I'm really sorry I'm late (haven't read the thread).
 
 
 
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