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    Recently broke up with my girlfriend (we've had quite an on-and-off relationship to be fair) but we both still really love each other. We met up a couple of days ago and we talked about why we can't really make it work even though we do actually like each other a lot. She told me that she knows I feel like I really want to see her because I'm crazy about her and she said she feels the same yet doesn't get such an urge to do so - like once a week is enough for her. Not quite sure if that's just how she really feels or maybe she's trying to tell me that she doesn't have as strong feelings for me as I have for her.

    We just went to her house and just stayed in her bedroom talking and just being fairly close (made out and all which complicates things much further). She says she wants us to try be friends (maybe with benefits) till she just completely knows what she wants and why she feels like she does. I understand that but a part of me feels like I've got no control in this relationship and that I'm just waiting on her every word to see what does happen. Of course I can wait because I am crazy about her but I don't want to be waiting for a long time to find out she just doesn't really have as strong feelings for me or doesn't want to be with me.

    I want us to give it another go and I did tell her this which led her to keep saying she's sorry for not wanting the same thing as me and complicating everything. I feel like we could make it work if we just set a day every week or so where we would meet up and just try VERY hard to be free on that day so that there's no confusion of when we will see each other and then no one is getting annoyed at the other person for being really busy (usually me being annoyed at her I must admit). She liked the idea but she still just doesn't know why she feels the way she does and why she doesn't have such an urge - maybe the spark has died but she still loves me a bit? I don't know.
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    dude just give her some space and i used this saying to my gf cus had a similar problem.
    "go on a break and not plan any days to see each other, and if she misses you she will wont you back" if she doesnt miss you, then there is your answer (not the one your looking for) but at the end of the day. Not much more upset and you can both get on with life and move on to better things (more importantly finding someone who wants to be with you as much as you do)

    Love cant be the only thing in a relationship, wanting and having is just as important
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    Friends with benefits? You gotta stand up for yourself. Personally I'd see that as her getting the best if both worlds while you get dragged along hopelessly in love, I know it's hard, but try to take a clean break while she sorts herself out. Let her know you need to try and move on with your life, but that if she wants to talk things over you'll be there to listen and happy to reconsider. Then do as you've said. 1. It will help you to move on and 2. It will show to her that you're not always going to be pining for her which might shock her into recognising her true feelings for your relationship, whether they be good or bad. Just some thoughts, that's what I'd do though.
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    (Original post by Cat285)
    Friends with benefits? You gotta stand up for yourself. Personally I'd see that as her getting the best if both worlds while you get dragged along hopelessly in love, I know it's hard, but try to take a clean break while she sorts herself out. Let her know you need to try and move on with your life, but that if she wants to talk things over you'll be there to listen and happy to reconsider. Then do as you've said. 1. It will help you to move on and 2. It will show to her that you're not always going to be pining for her which might shock her into recognising her true feelings for your relationship, whether they be good or bad. Just some thoughts, that's what I'd do though.

    You sound very experienced :P i like the cut of your jib
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    (Original post by SFsuck)
    You sound very experienced :P i like the cut of your jib
    oh, I am, thanks! Yeah, my boyfriend and I had a very similar relationship for a long time and the above post is how we resolved it. Broke up for a month where I went on holiday and just took a break, then came back to his reformed feelings and that we should definitely be together. And it's been worth it all.

    So, OP spend some time by yourself for
    a bit and let things calm down and everything will work
    out as it's meant to.
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    (Original post by Cat285)
    Friends with benefits? You gotta stand up for yourself. Personally I'd see that as her getting the best if both worlds while you get dragged along hopelessly in love, I know it's hard, but try to take a clean break while she sorts herself out. Let her know you need to try and move on with your life, but that if she wants to talk things over you'll be there to listen and happy to reconsider. Then do as you've said. 1. It will help you to move on and 2. It will show to her that you're not always going to be pining for her which might shock her into recognising her true feelings for your relationship, whether they be good or bad. Just some thoughts, that's what I'd do though.
    Thanks for the advice.

    Do you think we should still keep in contact though? Like still send each other texts and everything? Don't know if it'll make it harder but I'd still like to remain in touch with her and not just completely ignore her or cut her out of my life for now.
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    texting is the worse thing to do in my eyes. I wish texts on mobiles wasnt invented in a way lol. But yea, avoid the texts. You need to keep yours and her head completely clear so theres no pressure if you get what i mean?
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    As above. It's not as though you'll be cutting her out your life forever. Explain to her that it just might be better for you both to take some time apart to sort out yourselves, otherwise you have no chance of sorting out your relationship. It will be hard, but after a week or two of rest from eachother you'll both be in a better position to make decisions regarding your relationship. You just need to stick to it. Relapsing will bring you back to square one and at square one it's evident your relationship doesn't work. Therefore you both have to move on as individuals and meet up along the way if you get me...
 
 
 
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