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staying a virgin until marriage.. watch

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    The only people who oppose this opinion are the desperados that got laid in their teens or are desperate for sex and can't live without it in general...

    Making a thread about this sort of thing on a Forum filled with Kids and Students was doomed from the start to be honest....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Only recently have I decided to do this - when I was younger I had no problem with the idea of having pre-marital sex or even children out of wedlock - but now I'm mid-teens my views on the subject have grown pretty strong

    My reasons behind this decision aren't solely based on religious reasons - also as a result of conversations with my ill grandad - who I'm determined to keep my promise to - in remaining a virgin until I'm a married woman - and finally I also see it as a challenge for myself - and any potential 'husband to be' - if he respects me enough and if i respect myself enough then I'll be pleased in keeping my promise

    in terms of peer pressure, most people I know are under the false belief that I've had sex already - I still get drunk, go out, mix with lads - some who are considerably older than me - perhaps why people believe I've had sex already!
    This is one of the reasons I think I'll be so proud when I lose my virginity on my wedding night - the fact that I've (without sounding full of myself) - had offers from many men and been able to say no and turn them down

    Basically- enough of the rambling background info :o: – I was just wondering if anyone here IS saving or HAS saved themselves for marriage? And whether it had positive or negative effects on your relationship?
    Its a great thing to do, very few people nowadays stick to the no sex before marriage tradition of Christianity and other religions. It has moral and social implications, that many people don't quite comprehend past their own personal desire and restricted view on reality.

    Sex outside of a very strong relationship (at the bare minimum) does have serious negative effects, which further branches out into society with relationships becoming less significant and heavy on sex...No surprise really the high rates of divorce and disatisfaction within marriage, resulting in many children suffering as a result. This is one of the key reasons for it being one of the ten commandments, its an action that can have severe consequences on others and yourself.

    Another interesting factor is that sometimes people mistake the sex within a relationship as love. Which makes it hard for either person to know if they are right for them. People sometimes like to make the claim that it takes a long time to know if your going to be able to spend the rest of your lives together, however if you remove the sex (especially for the guys) the entire process is simplified as you don't have the guy being nice to get laid and remaining in a relationship for convenience. Your likely to find out the real person much quicker, with all the undesirables long gone.

    Advantages of no sex before marriage

    - Won't waste your time with guys interested in just their personal pleasure, but instead guys that have strong feelings for you and a good moral grounding.

    - Assuming marriage isn't rushed, its likely you will only marry once and that relationship will remain strong. Stable and strong marriage is advantageous for bringing up children for obvious reasons as well as better Emotional, Psychological and Physical Health. IE. Less worry, less arguments, very low likelyhood of domestic violence etc.

    - Partner is likely to have a high level of empathy, understanding of life and ambition for a traditional family life with good job.

    - Will generally share your religious beliefs, I wouldn't mix Catholicism with Traditional Protestantism however if you have a strong belief in either. Catholicism is based alot on tradition and superiority as the mother church, 'Traditional' Protestantism relies only on the bible for doctrine. Catholics are likely to require that children are brought up as a Catholic, which could cause problems between strong believers. However moderate's should be fine.

    - You don't break one of the ten commandments

    - Will be felt as an achievement and sex will have far more value when you finally do get married, opposed to the popular belief that its just entertainment.

    - More respect from (Good) guys in general.


    Negatives

    - Huge decrease in potential partners, especially under 25.
    - Likely that potential partners will be quicker to propose etc, so have to be more cautious. IE. Proposal within 18 months.
    - Might feel your missing out
    - Have to expect regular incidents of your boyfriend trying it on etc
    - Could cause some issues within the relationship, but if thats the case its likely this person isn't right for you.
    - Could take a while to find a suitable partner.

    Overall its the best decision you can make, but within the world as it is now...It can be a tough one to go through with.

    To those talking about 'What does it have to do with her grandfather', well staying a virgin until marriage is an important thing within Christianity etc and on top of that I think her grandfather understands the problems with sex before/outside marriage, especially psychologically. He likely understands that she is likely to find a much more suitable partner and has only the best for her in mind.

    Although I am not a virgin (1 partner before), I intend only to have sex within marriage due to the above reasons as well as my new found faith.

    This is from a guy btw, hope it helps.



    Edit.

    Btw, I was just reading through previous posts and keep seeing a common theme. Its only natural and things like humans aren't meant for marriage. It seems that people think we are animals or something, with no self control or conscious mind. That we should follow our carnal desires, however we differ completely from animals in both of those. If people wish to live as Animals (So to speak) thats fine, just accept the state of society that is arising with all the crime and immorality, of greed and selfishness. All rooted to our carnal desires, the temptation aspect which accompanies biblical sin. I have noticed an alarming trend, Religion was the most stable mechanism to maintain morality within society (Crusades etc all political and by Catholic Church btw)...Then Religion pretty much died in the 60's and immorality rose, crimes rose many times over per 100k people in all area's of crime. With it increasing year on year, I think we should appreciate how Christianity in particular (-Catholicism and other controlled sects within christianity) benefitted society regardless of a persons belief in God, if only we maintained those values and promoted them throughout society, the world would be a much better place.

    Then again when people are constantly told they came about through evolution, originally from a single cell and before that some non-living matter...I guess its hard for people to understand that they are different to animals. The problem is that evolution is not falsifiable and provides little evidence and more significantly can't demonstrate the following: Non life becoming life; one kind of animal becoming another; an increase in information either through mutation or any other way; 0 transitional fossils that have remained credible after close scrutiny (Even last years Eda was found to just be an extinct primate, with nothing significant about it in terms of supporting evolution); issues of somethings being irreducibly 'complex' where as it couldn't result from gradual processes; and speciation is unrelated to evolution and is simple variance within the DNA triggered by environmental etc factors and natural selection.

    I could go on, but I think thats enough. Evolution (Defined as increase in genetic information, and thus different sets of animals evolving into completely different ones), is a story with bits of circumstancial and highly interpretive evidence inserted periodically, mixed in with proven frauds (Fossils, gill slits etc) and disproven theories that remain being taught and repeated by the media. Evolution also likes to operate under the guise of speciation and variation (aka micro-evolution) to add credibility to it scientifically, while it inserts its religious belief into it. Lots of little changes turns into a big change (Darwinism) has flaws and evidence showing quite conclusively many things can't come about like that.

    Evolution = unproven theory with little evidence supporting it, which is subject to unconcious and concious bias and as such highly interpretative to a theory the observer believes.

    If someone wishes to base their faith on that (Atheism/Agnosticism), you have hell of a lot of faith. As a prominant evolutionist pointed out (I think it was Dawkins), 'Darwin made it possible to be an intellectually fulfilled atheist.' Not really very intellectually fulfilling though once you understand the extent of the evidence for it, seems to be more like a very dogmatic religious belief to top evolution scientists that remain convinced in evolution...Or simply a very biased way at looking at evidence on top of the amazing belief that even if it could occur, the odds are around 10^140 ish to 1, I believe that takes into accout life appearing on earth...So if you add the chances of an earth like planet appearing with a perfect sun and perfect location within the solar system, perfect axis and orbit on top of perfect atmosphere and composition to support life....You need to start believing in infinite universes where anything is possible (yet it can't even be shown that evolution can actually occur, especially abiogenesis. If it can't happen then the probability is um, 0.)

    The true Christian is more intellectually honest and fulfilled than the evolutionist atheist, and requires much less faith as well. Loses nothing yet potentially gains everything, whereas the atheist gains nothing and potentially loses everything and more. The evidence for creation is patchy but it is alot more solid than evolution, with nothing contradicting it. Age of Earth is an extremely complex subject, that is anything but good science. I won't go there though.

    PS. Did you know that Darwins desire was to disprove the existance of God? after he became angry after his daughter became ill and died. He had a Theology degree, so he knew what he needed to propose to destroy Christianities key doctrines.

    Sorry about the complete deviation from the subject in hand, I wrote it for the sake of it so might as well post it . Attack me all you like, you evolutionists know you have little to stand on apart from it being 'The best theory we have...that doesn't include a god'. You can try going deeper into the likes of genetics (which further discredits evolution anyway), or try to limit evolution to micro-evo, maybe attack my statements providing little snippets and papers (that supposedly will support evolution theory). Basically I am not saying evolution is false, but unlikely and thats what the evidence says from what we know so far. Saying anything else is completely disingenuous, making it likely that there is a God and we are not highly evolved animals. That our carnal desires and temptation is to be controlled with the advanced features we have over animals, its the only way that humans can co-exist without suffering and that is a well established fact. If the entire world was to follow the ten commandments to the letter, we wouldn't have a single problem in the world.
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    (Original post by prospectivEEconomist)
    Let's be honest, divorces are only common amongst the caucasian community. Go to Asia and divorces are rare Do you really think a man is going to truly love a girl whose vagina has had 10 cocks inserted and cummed into? I don't think any man wants to marry a woman who has a baggy vagina. Get real.
    Well obviously your wrong.
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    (Original post by acedei)
    Evolution = unproven theory with little evidence supporting it, which is subject to unconcious and concious bias and as such highly interpretative to a theory the observer believes.
    I'm sorry - are you really arguing that a book written (and interpreted completely) by man is more 'proof' of a religion than bones and fossils is of evolution?
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    I really fail to 'get' the no sex before marriage thing these days.

    I understand before we had contraception.... and reliable contraception.... having a child out of wedlock for the most part can ruin both the mother and the babies lives. So it made sense then, society as a whole condemned it because little ******* babies weren't good for anyone. Things have changed though, we have contraception and are generally more aware of pregnancy issues etc.

    I don't see how making a vow to stay together for ever, makes sex any different - especially when so many marriages - even religious ones - end in divorce. I guess for religious people its the whole promising in front of God thing.

    Then there's the whole "try before you buy" part of it. Sex is an important part of any relationship... not by any means the most important, but its important. By waiting till marriage, you've got all these expectations and ideal views of having the perfect sex with the perfect partner. In reality you're both awkward virgins, who wont have a clue what to do and wont enjoy it.
    I think my big concern is that it makes marriage seem more of a requirement, so you might rush into it without really considering it. If you aren't going to have sex with them.... are you going to live with them? I'm not sure how it'd all work. I mean, in my world view.... you meet someone, you date, you move in together and eventually when you are 100% sure of that person, that you want to be with them... you marry (the engagement can come anywhere in that i guess =p). If you are 'saving yourself' do you skip moving in together? Or is it a separate rooms kind of deal.


    I think personally its about finding the happy medium. What is wrong with having safe sex in a committed relationship when you've been together for a while and have waited till its right for both people. Its not like theres a hardline and you either have sex with everyone you meet or only wait till marriage.
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    Remember that- if for religious reasons- you are doing it for God and your faith not for your Grandad.

    I believe as a Christian, saving yourself until marriage is a wonderful thing. You learn self-control but it also protects you from STDs and so on. Most importantly it deepens your relationship with God as you have to trust and wait. However, many Christians can adopt the misconception that virginity means purity. Purity comes from the heart. Therefore, if a woman or a man has slept with others then that is not the be all and end all. A repentant heart makes them pure. So, if you are saving yourself to be able to look back at all the offers you have refused, you need to look at your ulterior motives, is it pride? Vanity? And if so that is not a good place to be in. (I do understand that your comment may have been an innocent one but it's hard to tell when you do not know the person individually.)

    I encourage you to save yourself until marriage but to also look deeper into your every day actions and thoughts to make sure you are remaining faithful to God in those. There are many articles and YouTube videos you can watch relating to this choice of yours.
 
 
 
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