The Student Room Group

External pressures effecting budding relationship

Hi TSR,
Firstly let me assure you I am most certainly not a troll and have been a member of this rather troll obsessed society for quite a while. This corner of H&R is particularly interesting and might as well consider myself an experienced campaigner, which is rather embarassing to say itself.
I understand that my case will call for many generic answers and I am fine with that as I am sure I will find someone understanding on the same wavelenght.

I am a 16 year old guy from a rather conservative family when it comes to forming early relationships. There is this girl 'Q' who seems to have developed an interest in me - or atleast all the signs point that way. It started about 2 weeks ago where I spent time with her in a day and truthfully, enjoyed her company. She felt the same way and started dropping hints on facebook - some of them being rather obvious (to me, not the others). Texts, laughs etc.. Her 'best friend' felt the same way about it and thought we were good together.

Now since its been 2 weeks, things have progressed and I could feel she is waiting for me asking her out. Herein lies the problem - my family (who I value grately) would not approve of a girlfriend. Its not her - its just the idea and notion of a girlfriend. I myself am rather confused whether I like her as that or just as a really good friend (and such a thing, I believe does exist). I belive the former is the case which makes the situation a whole lot harder.

I have heard all the stuff about friend zoning a person and likewise but this seems to be the opposite. I know there are souls on TSR that would be saying - "well if she is into you, take control of your own life and ask her out". When it comes to the crest of this budding relationship, it would be upon me to drop the agitating "No". Of course, it wouldnt be that blunt and she deserves a lot more than that. I will try to my best of ability to explain to her the stupid complications in this, how I value my family and (perhaps the hardest of the lot) - I want to still remain the close knit good friends we are.

So in conclusion what I am asking might be classes under the broad topic "turning down someone you like because of other pressures". I do not at all want her feelings to be hurt (even though I feel I know they will be) so perhaps I shoudl rephrase and say I want the damage to be minimum. I need suggestions and ideas from those who might have well been faced with a similar scenario.

Thanks for putting up with this rather long text.
Reply 1
Bump

If people are put off by lenght I think I should add a small 'in conclusion' version.

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