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Would you be able to forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend for this? Watch

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    Personally, I wouldn't forgive him. It's a slippery slope. It'll come up in every single argument you have, and you'll be constantly watching him to make sure he doesn't cheat again. If the trust has gone, there's no relationship there.
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    I could get over that, and indeed have done so, people make mistakes and relationships have ups and downs that need to be worked through, that's the name of the game.

    Drink can make you do silly things, and you can have no memory after the fact.


    I think you should give him a second chance to be completely honest.
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    If you are convinced that he is genuinely upset, regrets it and still loves you, then I think it needn't be the end, it depends on how you feel. Maybe it's best to wait a little while longer until you feel more certain about what you want to do. In the meantime, you can wait and see how hard he tries to make amends.
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    dont forgive him. i would never forgive a cheater. once a cheater always a cheater.
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    Gotta love the undying trust in liquid girl.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and am absolutely crazy about him. We have had our share of ups and downs over the year but overall he makes me so happy.

    On friday I found out that on a night out a few weeks ago in a club he kissed and was all over a random girl. I found out because I saw this number on in his phonebook when trying to call our friend called 'Liquid girl' (liquid is a club where we live). I asked him about it, I knew he was lying and so I text her (which he let me do I might add) and basically got all the information from her I needed.

    She told me she had being talking to him upstairs for alot of the night, he bought her drinks and they got with each other. When I found out I naturally hit the roof, called him all manner of things, broke up with him and told him I hated him. The annoying thing was I was staying with him and his family for the weekend and due to circumstances couldnt leave until tonight. So all weekend I had to listen to him go on and on about everything. He claims he remembers absolutely nothing about it, he says he woke up the next day with this number in his phone and that was it. ( I would have usually assumed this was utter ******** though I'm unsure from the fact that he let me text her).

    Im absolutely devasted and don't know what to do. I have two options, dump him or not?

    I have thought about it long and hard and have had contrasting opinions from friends and family and have came up with the reasons to stay with him or to leave him

    Reasons to leave him:
    -He cheated on me and the trust is totally gone
    -He never told me about it (although he claims he didnt know anything had happened
    -Im scared that had things went differently he could have ended up going home with her (though I know he didn't as she has told me this)
    -I don't know if I can ever be sure he won't do it again

    Reasons to stay with him:
    -It is totally out of character for him. I have spoken to a mutual male friend (who I am closer to) that he goes out with quite a bit and he says he never chats to or tried to get on girls on nights out and has never seen him do anything like that before
    -Some say everyone is allowed one mistake
    -I still am very much in love with him despite hating him right now
    - He does seem genuinely sorry and gutted, he has cried several times over the weekend, says it was a one off stupid mistake that will never ever happen again. He has told me he hates himself for it and that he will do whatever it takes whether that be not getting drunk when Im not there if that makes me feel better
    -He didn't sleep with her
    -I know he could not have been attracted to her as I got her to add me on facebook and I know this sounds awful but she is EXTREMELY unattractive, I mean horrendous.

    So it is. I'm torn. We are broke up for now. I want to see how hard he will chase me and how hard he will try and get me back and this may help me decide whether or not we're over for good. Any advice would be so helpful as I can't decide right now what I want to do?
    You can't have a relationship without trust.
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    are you sure she's telling the truth? maybe she was all over him and is trying to split you up? - just a suggestion.

    it would take me a while, but i'd probably forgive him.. after some grovelling to show that he does genuinely love me.. :yep:
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    I'd forgive him to be honest. Mainly because I've been in a sort of similar but not really situation before. Only by terms of that I got with someone when drunk, can't remember it, and only remember suddenly "realising" that I was being held by him by the waist and him leaning in to kiss me again. I can't remember before that. I was single, though, and I liked the guy so it was different, but the point is alcohol does things to you. I've never been like that before, I'm not one of those girls who just gets with a different guy every night, so alcohol doesn't make me "liable" to do that, nor does it necessarily make him "liable" to cheat. I think people are forgetting these things are generally spontaneous rather than occurances that happen whenever drunk when they say "who's to say it won't happen next time?". It sounds like he's telling the truth and he's truly sorry. Seeing as he hasn't really bothered with this girl since I doubt there's too much to worry about. It'll be tough to trust him fully again but I imagine eventually you'll get over it, in my opinion, if you just break up with him now you'll regret it. I mean, it seems you genuinely don't want to break up with him, but you're thinking about it because it's what feels as though it's the acceptable thing to do. Don't follow the crowd of "once a cheater, always a cheater" because that's not always true.
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    Yes,I've read with keen interest this pathetic story.It's indeed a painful one no doubt especially as it relates to the one you love.If I were in your shoes,though hard,I w'd forgive him owing to the fact that it's not in his character to have acted as he did.He merely acted @ the impulse of the moment under the influence of the wine which to me though not justifiable,is not unusual when compared with any other guy in this circumstance.If for nothing else my dear,for your LOVE for him & his REMORSEFUL disposition.From your statement,it's clear that he's the one that you are happy with.Why not try & let go atleast give him another chance,I believe it w'dn't repeat itself.I wish you guys the best Ok!
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    No, I wouldn't forgive him. And imo, you shouldn't forgive him unless you really want to suffer.
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    I honestly don't know what I'd do.
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    I think I'd want some space to think it all over properly, but I'd probably forgive him. It sounds like to me it was a genuine mistake.
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    (Original post by Floria)
    There are lots of Liquids around the country - there's one in my hometown of Basingstoke.:ahee:
    Last time I went to basingstoke liquid, most of the girls n guys in there looked a lot like that smiley :laugh:
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    #1

    Thanks for the replies some have been so helpful and it's definitely giving me lots of think about. The sad thing is as I suspected there is no majority really and there seems to be very contrasting opinions which still leaves me at a loss as with what to do.

    I think from first post its obvious I want to try to forgive him and be with him, its just a matter if I can. I feel that because of my feelings for him I would be able to forget what happened and forgive him this once and only once, however my fear lies in the thought that will I spend the rest of the relationship worried it'll happened again? Can trust ever be earned back so that even the trust is gone now, somewhere in the future it can be got back? I would really love to know what the statistics are for people who cheat in a relationship as a one off against people who cheat once, say how sorry they are and do it again and again.

    I will admit in my younger single days I have been so drunk that I have not remembered whole hours of nights sometimes and have had to be told the next day what I got up to. (I should add I have only been like this once in the past year or more and no longer drink the way I did when I was young and stupid). I know it happens but of course it does not excuse it. He has offered to not get drunk when I'm not there, is that a good thing I'm not sure because as someone said would he do that of his own accord to ensure something like this never ever happened again or is this just to keep me happy?

    Keep the advice coming its been very helpful
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    I went out once and issed some guys when I had a boyfriend, we soon broke up. I did it because I was drunk but also because I wanted out the relationship and was too scared to do anything about it.

    Just keep this in mind lol he might feel the same as I did and be good at hiding it
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    hmm... i think it seems like a genuine mistake. I would suggest you let thigns cool off for some time first... let him build this trust with you once again. but you need to be receptive and i believe you are, since you're very much in love with him as you claimed! if this happens a second time, DUMP HIM. but if it's proven worthwhile, then i'm happy for you all the best...
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    (Original post by HeadShock)
    Gotta love the undying trust in liquid girl.
    This, this, and this again.
    Everyone's saying it's out of character and your guy himself doesn't remember anything.

    So you're trusting some random **** over your boyfriend. Good choice. :top:


    Apologies if you've actually heard it from someone sober/someone you know, but that wasn't stated in the OP...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think from first post its obvious I want to try to forgive him and be with him, its just a matter if I can. I feel that because of my feelings for him I would be able to forget what happened and forgive him this once and only once, however my fear lies in the thought that will I spend the rest of the relationship worried it'll happened again? Can trust ever be earned back so that even the trust is gone now, somewhere in the future it can be got back? I would really love to know what the statistics are for people who cheat in a relationship as a one off against people who cheat once, say how sorry they are and do it again and again.
    The main issue is trust. Trust can be regained over time, contrary to some responses. Play it by ear maybe? If you can see yourself trusting him as you once did then why not give it a try? If not, well.. just don't bother.

    Giving him a second chance in NO way excuses his actions, it's just that everyone makes mistakes. Trying to be understanding is an honourable position, even if it means that you don't stay together after a second try.
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    (Original post by Ronar)
    I went out once and issed some guys when I had a boyfriend, we soon broke up. I did it because I was drunk but also because I wanted out the relationship and was too scared to do anything about it.

    Just keep this in mind lol he might feel the same as I did and be good at hiding it
    I know that's not true because it would be weird for him to be in tears telling me how sorry he is, how much I mean to him and how much he loves me and needs me if he wanted out of the relationship, don't you think?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I have spoken to a mutual male friend (who I am closer to)
    Doesn't the fact that you are closer to a mutual male friend than your own boyfriend answer your question in the first place?
 
 
 
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