Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Best friends, happiness and the nasty things inbetween. Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I have a friend who I have known for just over a decade, from early primary school days to the end of secondary school. I grew with her, as she grew with me too. During the process of growing up, I found her to have many struggles in her life. These included family issues, trust issues, alcohol issues and drug issues. I was the polar opposite of her. I didn't have problems as severe as her. Her mother was an alcoholic, most of her countless siblings barely knew her and her father was never around.

    In primary school, everything seemed so innocent and pleasant. Secondary school saw the change in my friend, as she became dependent on rebellion. She would skip school to meet with a new friend she made. This new friend she had made was a too strong of an influence. Her new friend introduced her to drugs and alcohol. Year seven was only ever introducing the effects people could have on her vulnerability.

    Year eight was more settled, but things didn't seem right. She would miss most days of school and I was to find out that she was taking these days off with her new friend. I barely saw her during this year, but I knew that her troubles were only brewing.

    Year nine came along with ease. I noticed she appeared in school more often, but we would not be comfortable with each other. I felt detached from her presence. It didn't make sense to me. She would get into fights in school with other girls and sometimes boys. One fight had left her shaking in tears and almost topless. I couldn't stand the way things weren't working out for her. Things just seemed to get worse.

    Year ten was the ultimate downfall. She was kicked out of her home, but felt more attached to school. We would talk like how we talked before. Openly and freely. She became me best friend again. I would now spend days and sometimes nights with her and my other friends. I loved her charisma. It was almost drug-like. She would occasionally have a spliff on nights out, but that was fine. At least it wasn't a line of coke. We were growing together. She was now my closest friend.

    After an amazing summer, year eleven began. She seem enthusiastic and thoroughly happy. I soaked up all of her presence. She was a drug. I felt happiness soar through my veins whenever I was around her. She made everything much more enjoyable. Her personality was amazingly charismatic. The winter was the best time I had ever had in my life, but in her case it was the worst. She was no longer homeless. She was living with her aunty. However, one day she was kicked out of the house. She fell apart even more, but I stood by her...

    During this time, I knew things were to change since college was arriving. When our GCSE exams were taking place, she fled. She left with her old friend (the bad influence) to Ibiza. I didn't hear much from her again, but she sounded okay. She came back from Ibiza in October, but vanished after a few small phone calls.

    All of summer of 2009, I was taunted by insomnia. All I could think about was her. I was worried, upset and pissed off. A question would pop into my head all the time. What kind of a best friend would run off and never look back at me? I felt emotionally wounded.

    College began without her and I was to start off in misery. To this very day I barely have any friends in college. I learnt a valuble lesson, which is true, but also hurtful. Attachment = Pain.

    I dont know what to do. I feel lost, incapable and depressed. I'm failing almost every A Level that I am doing. My relationships with others are becoming a thin line. I envy her freedom of doing what she wants. She moved to Ibiza because things were too hard for her here. I heard she made so many friends. As I said, we are polar opposites. It seems like things have shifted.

    Any advice?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    1. You should do English in college.
    2. Do a short 'tl;dr' bit at the bottom.
    3. Accept she's moved on, she seems to be like a cloud; something that just can't be tied down.
    4. Unfortunately around the end of school, beginning of college/uni people do begin to change, no matter how long you've known them. I think it's best to leave her there in Ibiza so that she can 'find herself', you never know, she might find that she wants you in her life!
    5. You say she has lots of friends, but she might just have a bunch of acquaintances. She might be feeling really lonely there.
    6. Personally I think you should somehow let her know that you're still there for her if she needs you to be, without being completely in her life, she may associate you with the problems she has before and feels that starting new is the only way to solve everything.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kat2pult)
    1. You should do English in college.
    2. Do a short 'tl;dr' bit at the bottom.
    3. Accept she's moved on, she seems to be like a cloud; something that just can't be tied down.
    4. Unfortunately around the end of school, beginning of college/uni people do begin to change, no matter how long you've known them. I think it's best to leave her there in Ibiza so that she can 'find herself', you never know, she might find that she wants you in her life!
    5. You say she has lots of friends, but she might just have a bunch of acquaintances. She might be feeling really lonely there.
    6. Personally I think you should somehow let her know that you're still there for her if she needs you to be, without being completely in her life, she may associate you with the problems she has before and feels that starting new is the only way to solve everything.
    I'm studying English Language at college already. I've pretty much already accepted the fact she has changed and is gone. I'm just stuggling to be myself since her departure. Usually I'm a happy person, but I seem to have lost all traits of that happiness I once weilded. I honestly don't think she will ever find herself. There are so many other short stories inbetween these inbetween parts, it's ridiculous! I have no way of contacting her because she's cut off her mobile number. She probably wants to leave everything behind and start fresh. I keep hoping I will hear from her, but I doubt very much I won't. Life is just problematic without her. I always leant on her shoulder, as she did with mine. I need to get over it, but I don't know how. "Time heals wounds..." This is going to take a year, or two...
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 8, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.