(Anonymous or please please please don't publish.)
I don't know how to say any of this so I'm not going to think about it, I'm just going to spit it out.
I had a group of very close friends. Last year one of them, A, was killed. It was in the news just a tiny bit; nothing huge. Now my friend B, who is one of my two best friends, is going on trial for murder. I don't believe he did it. A and B were tight as anything. I'm scared, I'm shaking just typing this, I don't know what I want to ask but there's no one I can talk to because my other best friend, C, has been called as a witness for prosecution and I'm a witness for defence and I don't want to believe he does, but I think C thinks B is guilty. I don't have a group of very close friends any more (the other girl who was in the group refuses to speak to us). My parents hate that I'm involved with something like this and the kids at school either don't know or just take the piss. I don't know what I'm asking and I don't know what anyone can say, but I'm just terrified. I'm terrified for A because it's so so hard to understand a person can be dead and I'm terrified for B because I keep imagining him in jail for ever and ever and I saw him in the remand centre and I know he's done nothing wrong, and I'm also terrified that this is going to get media attention, and people who know nothing about A or B will be picking over them and their families and judging and coming to court when me and C testify.
I don't know. I don't know. There's no one to speak to and I spend all my time praying for B to be found innocent even though I don't believe in God. I can't imagine him not being found innocent. I try and I cry. Is there anything you know I can do to help him? Or to help us? Or to stop the media, that won't happen, but maybe...?
Anyway, I've said it. Thank you for reading it. Or for not reading it. I don't know. Thank you.
Loughborough at number one