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Cheated on Boyfriend and Now scared He'll Leave Me watch

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    I'm just such a horrible person! I haven’t slept properly all week because I feel so bad about everything. Wish I could change things.

    Basically, my boyfriend who I've been dating for a while now went on a holiday for a couple of weeks. I live with a guy who has always fancied me and then one time I kind of did some stuff with him but not had sex or anything. He's a lovely guy, I really like him but I only did the stuff because of a dare I had going. Stupid I know.

    Last week just before my boyfriend got back I went clubbing and I got horribly drunk and then I'm really not that sure of anything. All I know is that the next day I woke up in a guy’s bed and basically from what I remember is that we were very friendly with each other and then we ended up sleeping with each other. I was horribly drunk and I know I wouldn't have done it if I were sober.

    Now, I really really like my boyfriend. I don't want to break up with him but I also don't want to tell him what I've done as then he's sure to break up with me. I feel so guilty about it and wish I didn't do those things but it's too late now.

    Also, whilst he was away I had been leading 2 guys on, pretending that I was interested in them. I guess it was just loneliness and I craved attention. Not that that makes it any less wrong.

    So basically, do I tell him what I did and risk him dumping me or do I just not tell him. He's so happy so I think why spoil it now? At the moment only 3 people know about it and I'm fairly sure they'll keep quiet about it. Is this a really bad idea?

    If it were you would you really want to know??
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    I'm just such a horrible person! I haven’t slept properly all week because I feel so bad about everything. Wish I could change things.

    Basically, my boyfriend who I've been dating for a while now went on a holiday for a couple of weeks. I live with a guy who has always fancied me and then one time I kind of did some stuff with him but not had sex or anything. He's a lovely guy, I really like him but I only did the stuff because of a dare I had going. Stupid I know.

    Last week just before my boyfriend got back I went clubbing and I got horribly drunk and then I'm really not that sure of anything. All I know is that the next day I woke up in a guy’s bed and basically from what I remember is that we were very friendly with each other and then we ended up sleeping with each other. I was horribly drunk and I know I wouldn't have done it if I were sober.

    Now, I really really like my boyfriend. I don't want to break up with him but I also don't want to tell him what I've done as then he's sure to break up with me. I feel so guilty about it and wish I didn't do those things but it's too late now.

    Also, whilst he was away I had been leading 2 guys on, pretending that I was interested in them. I guess it was just loneliness and I craved attention. Not that that makes it any less wrong.

    So basically, do I tell him what I did and risk him dumping me or do I just not tell him. He's so happy so I think why spoil it now? At the moment only 3 people know about it and I'm fairly sure they'll keep quiet about it. Is this a really bad idea?

    If it were you would you really want to know??
    Tell the truth, and face the consequences.

    If you tell the truth now and he is willing to stay with a cheat then that's fine. If he finds out later down the line you cheated and didn't tell him (it's likely he will) you will have no future with him, and will have invested all that extra time.

    Honesty is always the best policy - especially in relationships, but in all of life really.
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    Shouldn't Have Cheated. When will people learn?

    you'll get no sympathy here.

    /
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    have some balls and tell him
    oh wait nevermind you already had 2 extra behind his back
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    I'd want to know if someone had cheated on me.
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    You shouldnt have cheated, but you know that.

    If you care about your boyfriend he deserves to know the truth, it his decision to make about whether he stays with you, it is not your decision to make by not telling him. Would you not want to know if you were in his position. These things have a habit of coming to the fore, if you say nothing know you have no chance if it comes out in the future.
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    you should tell him..
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    Shouldn't Have Cheated. When will people learn?

    you'll get no sympathy here.

    /
    This.

    Seriously, leading guys on? Getting lonely?

    Are you sure you're ready for a relationship right now? You can't even wait a few weeks whilest your other half goes on a perfectly innocent holiday to get intimate.
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    Would I really want to know? Yes. Definitely. It could potentially break up the relationship - but him finding out through other means will almost certainly break up the relationship.
    You need to tell him - it'll eat you up (as it appears to have done so far) and it's not fair on him to keep it a secret.

    Not everybody will automatically dump somebody for cheating on them, especially if they are obviously sorry and regretful about it - but you do have to tell him. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but it is the best policy. You clearly show that you're sorry about it, and you know you messed up - people do make mistakes. It's natural. But it does sound like a slightly worrying situation - whilst the loneliness is understandable, the fact that you were craving attention is slightly concerning - is it just when your boyfriend is away that you feel like that?

    Good luck.
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    All you can really do is tell him the truth and hope he forgives you.
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    (Original post by meskell)
    Definition of a '****' in the dictionary comes complete with a picture of you next to it.

    Finish him if you are too much of a coward to tell him. Then go and crawl back in to your hovel and leave the decent people of humanity alone.
    This. People like you don't deserve to have partners when plenty of lovely, decent people are overlooked for relationships.
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    Tell him. Deal with the consequences. You're being very selfish.
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    (Original post by makaveli90)
    Tell him you ****.
    I don't always sleep around so I don't see how this makes me a ****. It was just one time and I didn't know what I was doing as I was really really drunk.
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    I never understand how its possible to get so drunk to suddenly forget you have a long term boyfriend? Tell him and face the music
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    I'm just such a horrible person! I haven’t slept properly all week because I feel so bad about everything. Wish I could change things.

    Basically, my boyfriend who I've been dating for a while now went on a holiday for a couple of weeks. I live with a guy who has always fancied me and then one time I kind of did some stuff with him but not had sex or anything. He's a lovely guy, I really like him but I only did the stuff because of a dare I had going. Stupid I know.

    Last week just before my boyfriend got back I went clubbing and I got horribly drunk and then I'm really not that sure of anything. All I know is that the next day I woke up in a guy’s bed and basically from what I remember is that we were very friendly with each other and then we ended up sleeping with each other. I was horribly drunk and I know I wouldn't have done it if I were sober.

    Now, I really really like my boyfriend. I don't want to break up with him but I also don't want to tell him what I've done as then he's sure to break up with me. I feel so guilty about it and wish I didn't do those things but it's too late now.

    Also, whilst he was away I had been leading 2 guys on, pretending that I was interested in them. I guess it was just loneliness and I craved attention. Not that that makes it any less wrong.

    So basically, do I tell him what I did and risk him dumping me or do I just not tell him. He's so happy so I think why spoil it now? At the moment only 3 people know about it and I'm fairly sure they'll keep quiet about it. Is this a really bad idea?

    If it were you would you really want to know??
    tell the truth and face the consequences, if I was him though I would turn round and tell you to do one quite frankly. What ever happened to trust, he will never be able to trust you again fully. You've taken the trust he had in you and spat on it basically and what because of alcohol. I'm sorry but that is not an excuse, every one who seems to have cheated on friends have always said 'i was drunk and didnt know what i was doing' yes you did... I've been unbelievably plastered, bordering dangerous but still have control of my thoughts and choices, you just CHOOSE to abuse your boyfriends trust.

    No sympathy from me
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    Wow I'm sorry people here are mostly just mud slinging.

    It really depends....obviously the RIGHT thing to do is tell him the truth. If you continue the relationship without him knowing what you did, then it's all based on a faulty foundation. The person he cares about will be a fake/not the real you. Is it really that nice to have someone dating you simply because they don't know your biggest faults? I know it sucks but you should really either end it or tell him the truth
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    (Original post by ChrisBan)
    I never understand how its possible to get so drunk to suddenly forget you have a long term boyfriend? Tell him and face the music
    exactly, being drunk is not an excuse
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    Would I really want to know? Yes. Definitely. It could potentially break up the relationship - but him finding out through other means will almost certainly break up the relationship.
    You need to tell him - it'll eat you up (as it appears to have done so far) and it's not fair on him to keep it a secret.

    Not everybody will automatically dump somebody for cheating on them, especially if they are obviously sorry and regretful about it - but you do have to tell him. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but it is the best policy. You clearly show that you're sorry about it, and you know you messed up - people do make mistakes. It's natural. But it does sound like a slightly worrying situation - whilst the loneliness is understandable, the fact that you were craving attention is slightly concerning - is it just when your boyfriend is away that you feel like that?

    Good luck.
    Yes you're right. I don't want him to find out from someone else. We're so happy together though and don't want to spoil things now. I guess I already have though
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    Is there a good chance he will find out by other means? If not I personally wouldn't tell him. Why cause unnecessary upset for a drunken fling.

    Seriously consider the options before telling him. I know most people will disagree with my opinion but it could really destroy the lad and shatter his confidence with girls!
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    Yes you're right. I don't want him to find out from someone else. We're so happy together though and don't want to spoil things now. I guess I already have though
    Firstly, I wanted to say to ignore the people in this thread who are just being abusive and not constructive. You've messed up, but you've accepted your mistake now, and are dealing with it. That takes guts, don't let these guys undermine that.

    I understand that feeling, and it's so awful to have this sort of anticipation of telling him - you've just got to be as open and as honest as you can be with him, just explain yourself. Try not to get angry or anything, because that won't help matters - just explain what you were feeling and what happened (that you can remember, anyway).
    It's happened, and you can't change that - but you are dealing with it. Explain what you've said on here, too, about how you are very happy with him and that you do like him a lot and didn't want or mean to sabotage your relationship. You sound regretful, that says a lot.
 
 
 
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