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Cheated on Boyfriend and Now scared He'll Leave Me watch

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    (Original post by LeeMatthewsPhotography)
    tell the truth and face the consequences, if I was him though I would turn round and tell you to do one quite frankly. What ever happened to trust, he will never be able to trust you again fully. You've taken the trust he had in you and spat on it basically and what because of alcohol. I'm sorry but that is not an excuse, every one who seems to have cheated on friends have always said 'i was drunk and didnt know what i was doing' yes you did... I've been unbelievably plastered, bordering dangerous but still have control of my thoughts and choices, you just CHOOSE to abuse your boyfriends trust.

    No sympathy from me
    I don't want your sympathy

    I can't handle my drink, I get drunk really quick and that night there were a lot of people buying me drinks so I had A LOT to drink. I know I can't just blame it on alcohol but I honestly didn't even know what I'd done until the next day. Probably when you're drunk it's different to when I'm drunk. I don't think rationally when I'm drunk at all.
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    If you tell him then that's a purely selfish act, it'll make both of you feel like crap and maybe end the relationship whereas you 'get a clean conscience'; the moral thing to do is either stay with him and hope you've taken something away from this, or tell him with the intention of breaking-up.
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    your pathetic.
    i feel very sorry for your boyfriend.

    i say you best tell him. id deffinetely rather be told than had it kept from me.
    then hopefully things will get sorted out.
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    Firstly, I wanted to say to ignore the people in this thread who are just being abusive and not constructive. You've messed up, but you've accepted your mistake now, and are dealing with it. That takes guts, don't let these guys undermine that.

    I understand that feeling, and it's so awful to have this sort of anticipation of telling him - you've just got to be as open and as honest as you can be with him, just explain yourself. Try not to get angry or anything, because that won't help matters - just explain what you were feeling and what happened (that you can remember, anyway).
    It's happened, and you can't change that - but you are dealing with it. Explain what you've said on here, too, about how you are very happy with him and that you do like him a lot and didn't want or mean to sabotage your relationship. You sound regretful, that says a lot.
    Thanks a lot
    I've tried telling his so many times over the week but every time I chicken out and can't tell him. I really need to tell him though and I'm sure I will eventually
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    I don't want your sympathy

    I can't handle my drink, I get drunk really quick and that night there were a lot of people buying me drinks so I had A LOT to drink. I know I can't just blame it on alcohol but I honestly didn't even know what I'd done until the next day. Probably when you're drunk it's different to when I'm drunk. I don't think rationally when I'm drunk at all.

    then dont drink?
    its not hard
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    I don't want your sympathy

    I can't handle my drink, I get drunk really quick and that night there were a lot of people buying me drinks so I had A LOT to drink. I know I can't just blame it on alcohol but I honestly didn't even know what I'd done until the next day. Probably when you're drunk it's different to when I'm drunk. I don't think rationally when I'm drunk at all.
    lol and you think I'm rational when i'm drunk, I've made some dumb decision but NOT dumb enough to get myself into to much trouble or dumb enough to be unfaithful. If you can't handle your drink then you must KNOW that you are going to lead people on after a few bevvies, which makes it all the more worse. I'm sorry I just do not see how you can blame alcohol on you cheating on your boyfriend and I know thats what you'll use as an excuse when talking to your boyfriend 'if' you pluck up the courage to tell him.

    At the end of the day you opened / accepted those drinks, you drank them and you knew you were going to get drunk. You made some stupid choices, the alcohol didn't make them for you, you made them. Whether you remember it or not at the time you would have been consciously choosing to crawl into bed with the other man and consciously sleeping with him. You may have forgotten about it after a quick few hours asleep, but whilst awake no matter how much you had to drink you will still have been making conscious decisions of which you already knew the outcome. Like it or not alcohol has little to do with it, it's all about you and your abuse of your boyfriends trust.
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    Thanks a lot
    I've tried telling his so many times over the week but every time I chicken out and can't tell him. I really need to tell him though and I'm sure I will eventually
    I really would suggest telling him sooner rather than later, too - it's going to be painful to tell him, but it'll be painful for him, too, to know that you've not told him for so long.

    Good luck with what happens.
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    (Original post by montemoney)
    your pathetic.
    i feel very sorry for your boyfriend.

    i say you best tell him. id deffinetely rather be told than had it kept from me.
    then hopefully things will get sorted out.
    You can't spell
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    Firstly, I wanted to say to ignore the people in this thread who are just being abusive and not constructive. You've messed up, but you've accepted your mistake now, and are dealing with it. That takes guts, don't let these guys undermine that.
    not being funny, but actually a lot of people are replying with constructive criticism... maybe they're being harsh but this is a sore subject for thousands if not millions of people.

    and she's dealing with it???? wtf, she hasn't even told him... that isn't dealing with it, that's called cowardly and not facing the truth... i.e not dealing with it

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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    You can't spell
    yeh i know.
    because i have learning difficulties.
    way to go.
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    (Original post by LeeMatthewsPhotography)
    not being funny, but actually a lot of people are replying with constructive criticism... maybe they're being harsh but this is a sore subject for thousands if not millions of people.

    and she's dealing with it???? wtf, she hasn't even told him... that isn't dealing with it, that's called cowardly and not facing the truth... i.e not dealing with it

    A few people are, yes, but a lot are replying simply saying "you're a slut/****/other insulting term!", or saying "well, you shouldn't've got so drunk" - which is all well and good with hindsight, but doesn't really help her now does it?

    I know, and I understand that it's a sore subject - I'm also speaking through my own personal experience of being cheated on - but you know what, people do **** up and make mistakes, and I think that being mature about it and discussing it thoroughly is far better than just breaking up with somebody or deeming somebody a slut based upon that. Being abusive tends not to help anybody; it ends up alienating the OP and pushing the thread off into a direction that isn't constructive.

    She hasn't told him the truth yes, but if she absolutely wasn't going to, she wouldn't've posted asking for advice. If you read her posts, the OP sounds regretful and as if it's eating away at her, it's not like she's "oh, well I cheated, big deal so long as he never finds out". And I didn't say that she'd dealt with it (which would imply her saying something to her boyfriend by now), I said that she seemed to be dealing with it.
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    tell him. take some responsibility for your actions.
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    (Original post by LeeMatthewsPhotography)
    lol and you think I'm rational when i'm drunk, I've made some dumb decision but NOT dumb enough to get myself into to much trouble or dumb enough to be unfaithful. If you can't handle your drink then you must KNOW that you are going to lead people on after a few bevvies, which makes it all the more worse. I'm sorry I just do not see how you can blame alcohol on you cheating on your boyfriend and I know thats what you'll use as an excuse when talking to your boyfriend 'if' you pluck up the courage to tell him.

    At the end of the day you opened / accepted those drinks, you drank them and you knew you were going to get drunk. You made some stupid choices, the alcohol didn't make them for you, you made them. Whether you remember it or not at the time you would have been consciously choosing to crawl into bed with the other man and consciously sleeping with him. You may have forgotten about it after a quick few hours asleep, but whilst awake no matter how much you had to drink you will still have been making conscious decisions of which you already knew the outcome. Like it or not alcohol has little to do with it, it's all about you and your abuse of your boyfriends trust.
    You don't know me so who are you to judge me? I usually stay away from drink as I know I can't handle it. My boyfriend always stops me drinking after two even though I always complain.
    My friend said he's stop me after a couple but then I got carried away and I guess he forgot or found it funny to see me drunk. It happens. I'm not happy about what I did but it's happened now and I don't want to dwell on it.
    Alcohol has a lot to do with it, I don’t remember much of that night at all. I only knew we slept together as the guy told me the next day. If I wasn't drunk then I'm certain it wouldn't have happened. I don’t sleep around, I’m not like that.
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    If it helps, if I had been dating a girl for a while, and had got back from a 2 week holiday last week, and I knew from Facebook that my girlfriend had been clubbing just before I got back, and my girlfriend lived with a guy who seemed into her, I'd be a little suspicious if I read this post. Your boyfriend might be going through your old posts to try and work out if you're his girlfriend right now.

    Like I said, if it helps.
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    You don't even seem sorry. Just scared for YOURSELF that your boyfriend will find out.
    Tell him, its not right and the whole 'it'll just upset him, why bother?' is cowardly. You did this to him, YOU upset him so he deserves some honesty. I got cheated on, and you know what? The worst part was finding out off someone else, not my boyfriend.

    Get some dignity and stop your drinking. You said you know you cant handle your drinks yet you did it anyway? Get help, stop drinking or stay away from relationships. Maybe that way decent people wont get messed around because selfish old you feeling lonely.
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    A few people are, yes, but a lot are replying simply saying "you're a slut/****/other insulting term!", or saying "well, you shouldn't've got so drunk" - which is all well and good with hindsight, but doesn't really help her now does it?

    I know, and I understand that it's a sore subject - I'm also speaking through my own personal experience of being cheated on, but being abusive tends not to help anybody and ends up alienating the OP and pushing the thread off into a direction that isn't helpful to anybody.

    She hasn't told him the truth yes, but if she absolutely wasn't going to, she wouldn't've posted asking for advice. If you read her posts, the OP sounds regretful and as if it's eating away at her, it's not like she's "oh, well I cheated, big deal so long as he never finds out".
    granted she may be regretful, but the more time she waits the worse it will get, she should have told him the day after if not sooner.

    Granted a few people post seem rather abusive messages but to be fair it's understandable especially if they have gone through this. Granted those posts don't help but a few are posting quite insightful posts I think that should help her and i'm sorry for her to then suddenly comment on someones grammar if anything makes her out to be rather arrogant as if better than everyone who's posting.

    She has made a number of mistakes including trying to say someone can't spell, even if that was simply a jab at someone saying how disgusted they were with her, but in all honesty he should be disgusted, cheating on someone is simply inexcusable in my opinion.

    Alas it is not my, yours or anyone else problems, it's hers and the longer she waits to tell him the worse his reaction will be come D-Day.
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    Been in a similar situation. If you want to stay with your boyfriend, I wouldn't tell him - but only if you're absolutely sure he's not going to find out from someone else.

    And drink less. Alcohol isn't an excuse, but it is an explanation - of sorts. You clearly feel guilty - it would be more worrying if you didn't, so just don't do it again. Because apart from anything else, and whether your bf finds out or not, it isn't worth the guilt, is it?
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    1) If you can't handle drink, don't drink.
    2) If you don't like people criticising you, don't publish your problems on here.
    3) When people respond, your comeback about spelling is petty.
    4) It also seems when you're sober you lead guys on. Shameful.
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    tell the truth
    and if he dumps you you deserve it really
    your in the wrong and to be honest your not going to get any sympathy
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    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    You don't know me so who are you to judge me? I usually stay away from drink as I know I can't handle it. My boyfriend always stops me drinking after two even though I always complain.
    My friend said he's stop me after a couple but then I got carried away and I guess he forgot or found it funny to see me drunk. It happens. I'm not happy about what I did but it's happened now and I don't want to dwell on it.
    Alcohol has a lot to do with it, I don’t remember much of that night at all. I only knew we slept together as the guy told me the next day. If I wasn't drunk then I'm certain it wouldn't have happened. I don’t sleep around, I’m not like that.
    youre not like that???

    yes you are, you've done the deed you are exactly like that stop trying to come out looking like an Angel. You need people to stop you drinking before you go off and sleep with your mates, you sound like such a beacon of inspiration for all women. You need to sort your priorities, alcohol or boyfriend and no drink is not an excuse no matter how much you wish to sugar coat it. Face the bloody music woman and accept that YOU MADE THAT CHOICE TO SLEEP WITH YOUR MATE and stop using alcohol as a catalyst for this one night stand.

    You don't want to be judged, then what the hell are you doing posting your problem on here for? Of course you're going to be judged. What did you expect a torrid of replys saying 'don't worry you've done nothing wrong'... everything you did that night was wrong, face facts for christ sake and stop telling people off for their mis-spellings.
 
 
 
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