Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Cheated on Boyfriend and Now scared He'll Leave Me Watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by M_E_X)
    Tell the truth, and face the consequences.

    If you tell the truth now and he is willing to stay with a cheat then that's fine. If he finds out later down the line you cheated and didn't tell him (it's likely he will) you will have no future with him, and will have invested all that extra time.

    Honesty is always the best policy - especially in relationships, but in all of life really.
    agreed, tell him the truth
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest if he dumped you who could blame him. He has the right to know what happened.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you deserve all that comes to you ****
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I understand that you're saying you were drunk, most people have done stupid things when they're drunk.
    But really?
    a) Maybe you should stop drinking - not relying on others stopping you, but take it into your own hands and be responsible
    b) Yes, I think you should tell him, it'll be hard, but tbh I'd find it disgusting if someone stayed in a relationship while one doesn't know they've been cheated on. If you tell him and he forgives you? Fine. But accept that he may not, and that you HAVE to accept that because, as you said you know you made a mistake. But now you have to accept the consequences.
    c) Lastly...not trying to have a go but...you're blaming being incredible drunk? But you've cheated more than once. You "did stuff" with the guy you live with for a dare?! That's cheating. And although the leading on wasn't technically cheating, I think that there's been 4 incident (obviously ranging in seriousness) I think it shows you have no will power and can't be in a relationship without straying.

    I think you should tell him, and I don't think you should be in an exclusive relationship right now. As it's not fair to the poor guy being loyal.

    Just my opinion though.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1177288

    How can you call me a **** when guys get away with this?
    yes, but two wrongs don't make a right.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1177288

    How can you call me a **** when guys get away with this?
    Maybe because girls get away with this:

    http://www.maniacworld.com/twilight-...e-standard.jpg

    EDIT: Didn't realise another guy above me had the same picture lol.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1177288

    How can you call me a **** when guys get away with this?
    Agreed. Men can be such hypocrites. It's not right for either sex tho, to be honest.
    Back in the day when I was 20 (I'm 25 now, not really that long ago.....) I was seeing 3 people at once (wasnt serious) and I'm sure that would get a load of negative comments from men. I would say that I considered myself a female playa. I would never would have described myself as a ****, but rather a "Fe-G"......which was wrong of me and totally disrespectful. I have changed my ways now though. Falling in love and getting older have caused a shift in behaviour and attitude.
    It's funny though....the difference in opinions between certain groups of women and men.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Darth Lettuce)
    Really? On shows like Jeremy Kyle (Yes I do sometimes watch them), when a guy cheats he gets booed alot louder than when a girl cheats.
    The Jeremy Kyle audience are not exactly representitive of society as a whole!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    if something happened that i didn't know about and there was no way of me ever finding out about it, it hasn't happened.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Special_K)
    OP, basically if you think you can handle the guilt, you shouldn't tell him. If you don't want to break up with him, then telling him is a baaad option, because although some people make it work, it purely depends on how lucky you are in regards to how he reacts.

    However, if you don't want to tell him but still can't handle the guilt, you should break up with him and consider it a life lesson. Clearly you've learned something from this and will be much more careful next time!

    It was a stupid thing to do but you obviously regret it and I can only imagine what you're going through right now :/

    I hope you make the right choice x

    Edit: also, stop calling her names!! She made a mistake and she knows it, and of course she didn't come on here to boast, she came on here for ADVICE if any of you tools had cared to read the post. She wants to know what she should do. Calling someone a "slut" is not advice, so go post your anger elsewhere.

    so true and i am ready to put my life down that if he knows ( and he deserves to know), it WILL NOT WORK........thats a certainty...not a probability.....the poor guy will remain INSECURE staying with her.....if he is good looking.... he will leave immediately...if not, then he will probably stay with her, until he finds someone else and he will leave...
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Marry him.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I hate cheats they really are amongst the worst people and don't go out clubbing if you cant handle drinking espeacily with boys!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by QwentyJ)
    Well, I think this requires the knowledge of someone who has a far greater insight into the human pysche than a mere amateur like myself possesses. It's interesting though, what you say about yourself. It sounds like you need someone who is always by your side. Either that or, finding someone who wouldn't mind being in an open relationship, with the desires on both sides being mutual.
    i don't understand the comic on your sig.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kara_Adams)
    I'm just such a horrible person! I haven’t slept properly all week because I feel so bad about everything. Wish I could change things.

    Basically, my boyfriend who I've been dating for a while now went on a holiday for a couple of weeks. I live with a guy who has always fancied me and then one time I kind of did some stuff with him but not had sex or anything. He's a lovely guy, I really like him but I only did the stuff because of a dare I had going. Stupid I know.

    Last week just before my boyfriend got back I went clubbing and I got horribly drunk and then I'm really not that sure of anything. All I know is that the next day I woke up in a guy’s bed and basically from what I remember is that we were very friendly with each other and then we ended up sleeping with each other. I was horribly drunk and I know I wouldn't have done it if I were sober.

    Now, I really really like my boyfriend. I don't want to break up with him but I also don't want to tell him what I've done as then he's sure to break up with me. I feel so guilty about it and wish I didn't do those things but it's too late now.

    Also, whilst he was away I had been leading 2 guys on, pretending that I was interested in them. I guess it was just loneliness and I craved attention. Not that that makes it any less wrong.

    So basically, do I tell him what I did and risk him dumping me or do I just not tell him. He's so happy so I think why spoil it now? At the moment only 3 people know about it and I'm fairly sure they'll keep quiet about it. Is this a really bad idea?

    If it were you would you really want to know??
    Tell him so he can dumpp you and find someone that will treat him better..

    So you did stuff cos of a dare.
    Slept with another guy
    And lead on two guys

    And you claim your not a ****..
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by idunnowhattoputhere)
    if something happened that i didn't know about and there was no way of me ever finding out about it, it hasn't happened.
    These thinfgs have a habit of getting out. And rightly so. Who is she to dictate what does/doesnt happen, considering she put herself in that position?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    ahaha.... he can understand hangover situation.and tell him dat u did.if my girlfriend did that i'll kill her....guys never forgive cheating..u don't need to tell him.raaat gaye baat gaye babe
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    conseidering you cheated and leads other guys on, you bf would be pleased to be rid of you.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah... whatever TSR says, OP isn't going to tell him. She's just going to lie to herself and keep saying 'I'll do it next time' until the truth comes out accidentally. Then she'll say 'But I meant to tell you!' and her boyfriend will leave her anyway.

    This always happens to girls like her until they find some way to change.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    What can I say? You did the crime and now you've got to "do the time" as it were. Guys get a bad rep for sleeping around etc, but girls that lead other guys on are not worth the time of day, I hate those that do that as I've had it done to me and it isn't nice, If he leaves you then you'd be getting your comeuppance. I'm sorry. Change your ways and then you're deserving of a decent guy but until you stop dillydallying you're just not worthy of a relationship.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 26, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.