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Best friend on trial for murder. watch

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    (A friend of mine on TSR tried to post this earlier and it didn't work, so she asked me to try and post it for her. It's her thread title and her words.)

    (Anonymous or please please don't post it.)

    I already wrote this once but it doesn't seem to have worked so I'm going to try again. I don't know how to say what I want to say and I don't want to stop and work out a way to, so I'm just going to spit it out.

    I have a group of very close friends. Last year my friend, A, was murdered. It got a bit of media attention but not much. Then one of my two best friends, B, was arrested for it. I don't believe he did it, A and B were tight as anything. My other best friend, C, has been called as a witness for the prosecution and I've been called as a witness for the defence, and it's a mess and I have no one to speak to. C genuinely believes B is guilty, and I find it almost impossible to speak to him any more, knowing he could believe that of B. My parents never mention A, or B, or the trial (which starts soon), because I'm a nice middle-class girl and nothing like this should have happened in my life. I think they sort of disapprove of me for it. I'm at a girls' school and people either don't know it happened or take the piss.

    I don't know what I want to ask or what I want anyone to say or anything at all. I'm just so scared. I'm still scared for A, because I have nightmares about him being killed, and about me being killed, and I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm still shaking a year later typing this, thinking about how someone killed this friend of mine who was just the kindest and nicest person I ever knew, nicer than B or C, and it terrifies me that it happened to him. It makes me feel ill. And I'm afraid for B because I visited him in the remand centre and I'm afraid my friend is going to have the rest of his life taken away from him because the jury doesn't understand he didn't do a thing. And I'm afraid of the media, because I'm afraid that it'll be a sensational trial (because we're all 15 or under), and that they'll release B's name and even if they don't these people who never knew A or B will go raking through their lives and judging them and talking knowledgeably about their friendship and home lives, which are none of their business.

    I don't know what I want to say. I don't know what I expect from this. Do you know any way to stop the media...? That won't happen; do you know any way I can help B, or if I'll be allowed to call C up while the trial's on, or how likely it is this'll be a very public trial? And I don't know if it's the same when a close friend dies naturally, but every time I think of A I think of him dying and I cry and feel ill because it's horrible and words can't even describe how it feels to know it happened; and then I feel so selfish, because I'm still alive, and I'm not facing jail, which makes it worse because I hate myself for daring to be so selfish. Can this be helped? I'm not even sure I want it to be, because it feels so disrespectful, but I'm a mess, I'm a guilty terrified mess, and I don't see how I can testify in this state.

    Thank you for reading. And even if you didn't I've at least told somebody. That's all. Thank you.
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    (Original post by iamnotarobot)
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    (A friend of mine on TSR tried to post this earlier and it didn't work, so she asked me to try and post it for her. It's her thread title and her words.)

    (Anonymous or please please don't post it.)

    I already wrote this once but it doesn't seem to have worked so I'm going to try again. I don't know how to say what I want to say and I don't want to stop and work out a way to, so I'm just going to spit it out.

    I have a group of very close friends. Last year my friend, A, was murdered. It got a bit of media attention but not much. Then one of my two best friends, B, was arrested for it. I don't believe he did it, A and B were tight as anything. My other best friend, C, has been called as a witness for the prosecution and I've been called as a witness for the defence, and it's a mess and I have no one to speak to. C genuinely believes B is guilty, and I find it almost impossible to speak to him any more, knowing he could believe that of B. My parents never mention A, or B, or the trial (which starts soon), because I'm a nice middle-class girl and nothing like this should have happened in my life. I think they sort of disapprove of me for it. I'm at a girls' school and people either don't know it happened or take the piss.

    I don't know what I want to ask or what I want anyone to say or anything at all. I'm just so scared. I'm still scared for A, because I have nightmares about him being killed, and about me being killed, and I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm still shaking a year later typing this, thinking about how someone killed this friend of mine who was just the kindest and nicest person I ever knew, nicer than B or C, and it terrifies me that it happened to him. It makes me feel ill. And I'm afraid for B because I visited him in the remand centre and I'm afraid my friend is going to have the rest of his life taken away from him because the jury doesn't understand he didn't do a thing. And I'm afraid of the media, because I'm afraid that it'll be a sensational trial (because we're all 15 or under), and that they'll release B's name and even if they don't these people who never knew A or B will go raking through their lives and judging them and talking knowledgeably about their friendship and home lives, which are none of their business.

    I don't know what I want to say. I don't know what I expect from this. Do you know any way to stop the media...? That won't happen; do you know any way I can help B, or if I'll be allowed to call C up while the trial's on, or how likely it is this'll be a very public trial? And I don't know if it's the same when a close friend dies naturally, but every time I think of A I think of him dying and I cry and feel ill because it's horrible and words can't even describe how it feels to know it happened; and then I feel so selfish, because I'm still alive, and I'm not facing jail, which makes it worse because I hate myself for daring to be so selfish. Can this be helped? I'm not even sure I want it to be, because it feels so disrespectful, but I'm a mess, I'm a guilty terrified mess, and I don't see how I can testify in this state.

    Thank you for reading. And even if you didn't I've at least told somebody. That's all. Thank you.
    Innocent until proven guilty, but if he goes to jail, its just tough ****. Its your choice if you want to stick by him, but personally I would run a mile.
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    this genuinely moved me. you have so much compassion. please please don't worry, i promise it'll be over soon, i know you know that but you need to hear it too. it WILL be behind you one day, even if it feels like everythings permanent. you're so young as well, but you speak with such maturity and emotion. The awful thing is, that not only are you dealing with the death of one of your best friends, but you also have to know he was murdered, and worst of all face the repercussions of that. stay strong, and tell the truth throughout. You aren't involved in a bad way, you have nothing to feel guilty about because you have NOT done anything wrong. I promise you it'll be ok.
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    (Original post by iamnotarobot)
    and I'm afraid my friend is going to have the rest of his life taken away from him because the jury doesn't understand he didn't do a thing.
    How do you know he hasn't done a thing?
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    (Original post by Xenopus)
    Anon fail. TLDR.
    You're an idiot...
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    how do u no that B did not kill him. and i would jst say to tell the truth.
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    (Original post by FieldLeftBlank)
    How do you know he hasn't done a thing?
    Presumably they dont but its their friend and they "know" their friend wouldnt do such a thing

    If a prosecution can prive beyond all reasonable doubt they did it then its another thing (although that in itself is not infallible)
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    Why does everybody except you think A was murdered by B?
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    (Original post by Clubber Lang)
    Presumably they dont but its their friend and they "know" their friend wouldnt do such a thing

    If a prosecution can prive beyond all reasonable doubt they did it then its another thing (although that in itself is not infallible)
    Well I imagine if it was my best friend, I wouldn't want to believe that. Hence, I wouldn't believe it.
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    (Original post by iamnotarobot)
    (A friend of mine on TSR tried to post this earlier and it didn't work, so she asked me to try and post it for her. It's her thread title and her words.)

    (Anonymous or please please don't post it.)

    I already wrote this once but it doesn't seem to have worked so I'm going to try again. I don't know how to say what I want to say and I don't want to stop and work out a way to, so I'm just going to spit it out.

    I have a group of very close friends. Last year my friend, A, was murdered. It got a bit of media attention but not much. Then one of my two best friends, B, was arrested for it. I don't believe he did it, A and B were tight as anything. My other best friend, C, has been called as a witness for the prosecution and I've been called as a witness for the defence, and it's a mess and I have no one to speak to. C genuinely believes B is guilty, and I find it almost impossible to speak to him any more, knowing he could believe that of B. My parents never mention A, or B, or the trial (which starts soon), because I'm a nice middle-class girl and nothing like this should have happened in my life. I think they sort of disapprove of me for it. I'm at a girls' school and people either don't know it happened or take the piss.

    I don't know what I want to ask or what I want anyone to say or anything at all. I'm just so scared. I'm still scared for A, because I have nightmares about him being killed, and about me being killed, and I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm still shaking a year later typing this, thinking about how someone killed this friend of mine who was just the kindest and nicest person I ever knew, nicer than B or C, and it terrifies me that it happened to him. It makes me feel ill. And I'm afraid for B because I visited him in the remand centre and I'm afraid my friend is going to have the rest of his life taken away from him because the jury doesn't understand he didn't do a thing. And I'm afraid of the media, because I'm afraid that it'll be a sensational trial (because we're all 15 or under), and that they'll release B's name and even if they don't these people who never knew A or B will go raking through their lives and judging them and talking knowledgeably about their friendship and home lives, which are none of their business.

    I don't know what I want to say. I don't know what I expect from this. Do you know any way to stop the media...? That won't happen; do you know any way I can help B, or if I'll be allowed to call C up while the trial's on, or how likely it is this'll be a very public trial? And I don't know if it's the same when a close friend dies naturally, but every time I think of A I think of him dying and I cry and feel ill because it's horrible and words can't even describe how it feels to know it happened; and then I feel so selfish, because I'm still alive, and I'm not facing jail, which makes it worse because I hate myself for daring to be so selfish. Can this be helped? I'm not even sure I want it to be, because it feels so disrespectful, but I'm a mess, I'm a guilty terrified mess, and I don't see how I can testify in this state.

    Thank you for reading. And even if you didn't I've at least told somebody. That's all. Thank you.
    I'm sorry you have to be put through this. Don't feel selfish about it, you're not being in the slightest bit selfish, you're helping your friend "B" out when they need you most, whereas a lot of people would just leave it. Your friend's death will stay with you for a long time, but it won't always be such a harrowing memory, besides, death is only one step on the road, it's not the end. The name probably will be released, however one way to keep it quieter in the media is for the defence to win the case, guilty people make for a better story i'm afraid. I would like to know more about A and B before I make any judgements myself, so I won't say whether you're right or wrong about his innocence, but stay strong and fight for what you believe in.
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    (Original post by FieldLeftBlank)
    How do you know he hasn't done a thing?
    (I'm the girl who wrote the post; I'm hijacking this anonymous account to reply.)

    I have a friend at school who doesn't openly mock me for my involvement with the case, but when it first happened she would try and have 'discussions' with me about it; by which she meant saying 'but B's been charged. The police think he's guilty. Why don't you?' over and over again. She never met A and she's never met B and I've heard all these questions before, so many times. B didn't do it, and I know he didn't do it because he told me he didn't do it and I believe him. That's all. You can go ahead and mock but I've been mocked so much I'm getting quite numb to everything that isn't nightmares and guilt.
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    (Original post by Username1)
    (I'm the girl who wrote the post; I'm hijacking this anonymous account to reply.)

    I have a friend at school who doesn't openly mock me for my involvement with the case, but when it first happened she would try and have 'discussions' with me about it; by which she meant saying 'but B's been charged. The police think he's guilty. Why don't you?' over and over again. She never met A and she's never met B and I've heard all these questions before, so many times. B didn't do it, and I know he didn't do it because he told me he didn't do it and I believe him. That's all. You can go ahead and mock but I've been mocked so much I'm getting quite numb to everything that isn't nightmares and guilt.
    Erm... I wouldn't mock someone in a situation like that.
    Since I, and all those people who asked you the same, don't know A and B, it's a logical question.
    By the way... the fact that you feel relieved to be alive and not facing jail might sound bad but I for one think it's perfectly natural for a human being. I'd feel the same.
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    If B is under 15, the media will not be allowed to report his name unless the judge gives permission. The same applies to you. Since you are only a witness you will not be made public. I don't think he is likely to give permission to deanonise B unless it was a very gruesome murder.

    What you, personally, believe about the case has nothing to do with it. The verdict will be based on evidence. (E.g. they cannot find him guilty because they think it's "likely" he has done it - he has to be proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt.) If he is innocent, that should reassure you to some extent.

    Be sure you are as truthful as you can during the trial. (But I'm sure you don't need to be told this.)

    (Edit: deleted something misleading there. B's name can only be released if found guilty.)
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    (Original post by pheebs101)
    this genuinely moved me. you have so much compassion. please please don't worry, i promise it'll be over soon, i know you know that but you need to hear it too. it WILL be behind you one day, even if it feels like everythings permanent. you're so young as well, but you speak with such maturity and emotion. The awful thing is, that not only are you dealing with the death of one of your best friends, but you also have to know he was murdered, and worst of all face the repercussions of that. stay strong, and tell the truth throughout. You aren't involved in a bad way, you have nothing to feel guilty about because you have NOT done anything wrong. I promise you it'll be ok.
    (Original post by SOTEK)
    [...]
    Thank you both, thank you so much. I know it has to pass but it's so hard for that to mean anything while things are still in the process of passing.

    I had a long think after writing the original post and decided I just want somebody to talk to, I just want to talk to C, because we're both caught between A and B and we both must be feeling at least a little the same. I'm seeing C as hard-hearted and stubborn for refusing to consider that B might be innocent, but I tried to imagine myself in his place and if he genuinely believes his reasons for B's guilt he must find it just as hard to speak to me as I find it to speak to him; he must think I'm being just as stubborn.

    I don't know. There's no way we can get past the fact we're on opposing sides. If we tried to put the trial aside and just talk there'd be nothing to talk about, because the trial is all I want to talk about.
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    (Original post by Username1)
    (I'm the girl who wrote the post; I'm hijacking this anonymous account to reply.)

    I have a friend at school who doesn't openly mock me for my involvement with the case, but when it first happened she would try and have 'discussions' with me about it; by which she meant saying 'but B's been charged. The police think he's guilty. Why don't you?' over and over again. She never met A and she's never met B and I've heard all these questions before, so many times. B didn't do it, and I know he didn't do it because he told me he didn't do it and I believe him. That's all. You can go ahead and mock but I've been mocked so much I'm getting quite numb to everything that isn't nightmares and guilt.
    You don't "know". You believe/trust. You are a good friend.

    I hope for your sake that you are right. :hugs:
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    (Original post by FieldLeftBlank)
    Erm... I wouldn't mock someone in a situation like that.
    Since I, and all those people who asked you the same, don't know A and B, it's a logical question.
    By the way... the fact that you feel relieved to be alive and not facing jail might sound bad but I for one think it's perfectly natural for a human being. I'd feel the same.
    I'm sorry; I'm just accustomed to hearing those questions delivered in a mocking tone rather than a sincerely questioning tone.

    I don't want to go into details and I don't even think I'm allowed to, as a witness; just vaguely, aside from my loyalty to B and the closeness of his friendship with A, there's issues over timing and a complete lack of motive and the fact it wasn't B who stole something used in the attack and that B is much smaller than A and actually I think I'm going to stop before I cry, my parents will be irritated if they see I've been crying again because in my household This Murder Did Not Happen.

    I'm glad you say you'd feel the same: I know intellectually it's understandable but I can't believe it emotionally.
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    you have a ****** up group of friends.
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    (Original post by llys)
    If B is under 15, the media will not be allowed to report his name unless the judge gives permission. The same applies to you. Since you are only a witness you will not be made public. I don't think he is likely to give permission to deanonise B unless it was a very gruesome murder and the evidence against B is very compelling.
    Thank you very much for answering my questions. I've got some more, if you wouldn't mind looking at them, but please don't feel you have to and if anybody else wouldn't mind answering them then, I'd be grateful.
    - If B's name is released will mine and C's be too?
    - When you say 'give permission to demonise B', do you just mean by releasing his name?
    - I understand that there's no set criteria and it's all dependant on context and so on, but in your opinion, what would be found 'gruesome' enough to merit B being named?

    I also have another question, but it's not about media attention. It's just, I don't think I'm going to be able to not cry while being asked about A and B: is it common for witnesses to cry? Will the judge be annoyed, or the lawyers or the jury, if I can't talk for a bit, will it mean everything is delayed?
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    I don't really know what to say I don't know any details about it, but if you think B is telling the truth then stick with B.
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    LOL at the whole thread!
    You obviously weren't present at the killing so how can you be a 'witness', other than to provide hearsay character evidence?
 
 
 
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