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    I've never been on a date before, or kissed anyone etc (take the fact I'm 18 into account with this question....), but me and this girl get on really well and are going on a "date". Thing that I'm scared of is that I don't really know what to do, having never been on one before. I know obviously chat to her, that's probably going to be the easier bit (although got to try and avoid anything controversial/boring! :p: ), but I don't know whether to kiss or not (if she tries it, I won't be because I'm sober!!) etc. I mean obviously I'm not going to walk in and be like "right, before we get started, I'd just like to tell you.....", but then if she tries it and I pull away that's like rejection, and pretty bad rejection too, I know I'd be gutted if the same happened...so dunno what to do? If relationships etc came up would I admit things like that to her, that I haven't kissed anyone before etc? I know it seems freaky, when I'm fairly sure she would have been with others (although she hasn't explicitly said that), but I know I'd be so awful, so I couldn't even wait and see and try to "pretend" I knew what I was doing if she did start anything!

    Oh and I’ve have no idea what to wear…. I was thinking “casual” shirt, which is also what a friend suggested, but problem is I have none and she’s never seen me in one before, so if I was to buy one (she wouldn't need to know I've brought it of course) and wear it it may seem over the top? But then it would be nice if she thought I was making the effort, so I don't know. I don’t really have a clue what to buy either if I was to buy one, so I was thinking of just using the best of what I've got, but then that could be seen as me not liking her/not bothering etc?

    And anyone got any (serious, I know what TSR can get like! ) tips/advice in general?
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    ok..first of all. CALM DOWN .
    on the date, dont think about kissing, just think about talking. be interesting, and be interested in her. listen, ask constructive questions and maybe checkout some of her interests on fb or something, just so you have something up your sleeve (music/films etc) . if the kiss is obviously on the cards, try and make most of the move because girls tend to prefer guys making more of an effort initially - then they dont feel like a complete idiot if they are wrong. granted the boy can feel the same, but unfortunately you just have to go for it!! kissing on the first date will be pretty pg anyway i hope, so just a soft one on the lips will be nice, maybe a bit of hairstroking etc etc. take the pressure off anyway.

    where are you going for the date? jeans, t shirt and a shirt usually work well - doesnt look to try hard but not scruffy either.
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    (Original post by metrostation22)
    ok..first of all. CALM DOWN .
    on the date, dont think about kissing, just think about talking. be interesting, and be interested in her. listen, ask constructive questions and maybe checkout some of her interests on fb or something, just so you have something up your sleeve (music/films etc) . if the kiss is obviously on the cards, try and make most of the move because girls tend to prefer guys making more of an effort initially - then they dont feel like a complete idiot if they are wrong. granted the boy can feel the same, but unfortunately you just have to go for it!! kissing on the first date will be pretty pg anyway i hope, so just a soft one on the lips will be nice, maybe a bit of hairstroking etc etc. take the pressure off anyway.

    where are you going for the date? jeans, t shirt and a shirt usually work well - doesnt look to try hard but not scruffy either.
    That's true. I know she's interested in a lot of what I am music wise, TV not so much from what I can gather! I hardly ever go to see films, the last one I saw was back in August with friends before coming to uni - THAT'S how much I don't go! I know Avatar is supposed to be good, but haven't seen it. That could be an interesting option if this goes well....

    That's the thing I'm scared of "if the kiss is on the cards" I don't want it to be, after a while she'd understand obviously, but she may get bored before then :\

    It's a restaurant, nowhere "posh" by any means, but not KFC etc :p: I don't have a shirt (well I have one from the "school disco" the other day, which has all manner of crap written over it!! :p: ). I've got a jumper I'm thinking of, it apparently looks smart according to everyone that's seen me in that & jeans (I wore it to my uni interview and got in if that's any help!!), but I don't know....And yea jeans too. I just don't want to get there and she looks stunning and I look normal! :p:

    Thanks though I'm trying to keep calm, but what I'll be like on the day will be interesting to say the least!
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    hahaha well at least you have the music! . yeah talk about films/bands you'd like to see, doesnt matter if you dont know much about them then. why dont you want to kiss her? i mean obviously you are nervous, but you dont actually want to?

    yeah go for jumper and jeans, same kinda thing as shirt/jeans combo, easy and looks good! and make sure you smell good too! just maybe look in the restaurant first and see what people are wearing if you are nervous! but im sure if you are smart casual then it will be fine, girls often dress up regardless so dont worry about that! just make sure you give her a meaningful compliment about it .

    when is this date? soon?
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    (Original post by metrostation22)
    hahaha well at least you have the music! . yeah talk about films/bands you'd like to see, doesnt matter if you dont know much about them then. why dont you want to kiss her? i mean obviously you are nervous, but you dont actually want to?

    yeah go for jumper and jeans, same kinda thing as shirt/jeans combo, easy and looks good! and make sure you smell good too! just maybe look in the restaurant first and see what people are wearing if you are nervous! but im sure if you are smart casual then it will be fine, girls often dress up regardless so dont worry about that! just make sure you give her a meaningful compliment about it .

    when is this date? soon?
    Haha! Yea it's amazing because quite a few of them aren’t massive hits, so it’s not as if we both say “oh Sexy ***** is great” (that’s the first song that came to my head, ironically!), it’s songs that quite a few people won’t have heard of

    Oh no, I don't mean I don’t actually want to like that! I mean I'd love to, it's just when I'm shockingly awful because I haven’t before she might run a mile. I'd love to eventually, when we’ve built something more “substantial” maybe - the eventually bit is the problem! I don't want to wait too long so she thinks I'm not interested etc, but I don't want to be a complete shambles soon and freak her out...

    It's not anything against her for sure, or that I’m having doubts etc, it's just the closest I've got to a "kiss" was when me and a friend were pretty hammered a few months ago and she was touching etc and kissing my neck and attempting to go for the lips a few times, but (even though I was hammered) I felt something was wrong and just gave her a peck on the lips – I’m now so glad I did that, I know it would've been a MASSIVE mistake if I’d kissed her (despite the fact she's my friend and despite the fact I was smashed so could've just blamed the drink for being awful) - I don't feel like that this time, if it were to come to that, it’s most just nerves and a lack of experience from the “playa” stereotype that so many guys at 18 seem to have!

    Yea I got nice aftershave as a present a while back, I said to myself that I’d save it for something special . That’s a good idea about going past, I’m not 100% sure I can go past when it’s open before then though, but it’s looking (unless I see anything that jumps out at me when I have a quick look tomorrow) like it’ll be jumper & jeans.

    Yep, it’s this week. Also, another question to add to my never ending list!! - I was told (by a friend who’s a joker so take everything she says with a bucket of salt!!) to “get smashed” before, obviously that was clearly tongue in cheek, but would having a few shots just before I start to get ready be helpful? I wouldn’t be smashed by any means, but I’d have more confidence I guess - directly from another friend on a night out: “OMG xxxxxx, you’re so different and funny when you’re drunk!”. She didn’t mean it in a “bad” way, and she’s said I’m amazing etc sober - even before then, but I see it in a “bad” way as I make a lot more friends drunk (that’s how I met this girl!) and I am more confident etc. Obviously turning up smashed won’t be very helpful, and with me it’s certainly a fine line between the 2, so not sure if she’d know or if it’s worth the risk/ having to “act” sober!

    Essay over, now back to my assignment which has been untouched since all this unfolded!!
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    Just to jump in here, please don't get drunk before hand. She would probably know and it wouldn't give a very good impression. Just be yourself, you seem to really like her
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    I second that! Do not have anything to drink before! Because she will be able to tell, she really will!
    Jeans and a nice jumper sounds good And yes, be sure to tell her how beautiful she looks!
    As for the kiss, don't worry about it! As was said, it's not likely to be a huge make-out session or anything! If it's just a first date then a little kiss on the mouth will be fine - and no tongues necessary! Oh, but err, don't get anything really garlicky to eat, okay? Or bring some mints or something, if you do!
    Good luck! And remember, things are rarely as bad as you think they'll be!
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    Fitted Jeans, plain shirt with rolled up sleeves and smart trainers..you can't go wrong with that combination.

    OP, you are definately worrying too much. Try to relax and enjoy yourself, it will be fine!
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    OP, I used to worry about kissing too, but it really isn't difficult

    If you do get into a kiss though, simply don't go roaming with your tongue and you'll be fine! You'll find it suprisingly easy

    A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice... Mmm, very very nice!
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    lol dont sweat it, it'll be as easy as pie, trust me All you'll do is get chatting, have a good time, enjoy yourself and you'll forget about kissing and if you both do kiss then it will just happen without out thinking - (most likely anyway) - and no need to worry, i've got two long time friends who have never had a gf and they're 19 now :| so yeah, I keep that info under raps for their sake
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    it gonna be great! i dont recommend drinking before - you dont want to spill anything down you!! about the kissing, just a soft one on the lips, even just the contact, is fine for the first time. as long as you take the lead in making the kiss happen when you want to, it will be fine!! promise. you sound like a nice interesting guy from just writing on here anyway so honestly dont worry, just ..be yourself! good luck tell us how it goes haha
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    (Original post by FootPrints)
    Just to jump in here, please don't get drunk before hand. She would probably know and it wouldn't give a very good impression. Just be yourself, you seem to really like her
    Thanks . It wouldn't be proper drunk, but yea I guess she could still see a difference, and we've met a few times while drunk so obviously avoiding it this time would be good!
    (Original post by Jinxxeh)
    I second that! Do not have anything to drink before! Because she will be able to tell, she really will!
    Jeans and a nice jumper sounds good And yes, be sure to tell her how beautiful she looks!
    As for the kiss, don't worry about it! As was said, it's not likely to be a huge make-out session or anything! If it's just a first date then a little kiss on the mouth will be fine - and no tongues necessary! Oh, but err, don't get anything really garlicky to eat, okay? Or bring some mints or something, if you do!
    Good luck! And remember, things are rarely as bad as you think they'll be!
    Thanks Haha, I don't like garlic things lucky, so wouldn't fall into that trap :p:

    (Original post by Becksy)
    Fitted Jeans, plain shirt with rolled up sleeves and smart trainers..you can't go wrong with that combination.

    OP, you are definitely worrying too much. Try to relax and enjoy yourself, it will be fine!
    I see what you mean about worrying too much, it's just it's a late first date (even I'd admit that!) and I'm so shocked she even showed interest in me before (long story, but because of how drunk I was she went pretty far to guarantee I remembered her name/number!) and even more shocked by yesterday, so just don't want to do something stupid and wreck it when someone might finally like me (and I really like her). Thanks though

    (Original post by JemSevenV)
    OP, I used to worry about kissing too, but it really isn't difficult

    If you do get into a kiss though, simply don't go roaming with your tongue and you'll be fine! You'll find it suprisingly easy

    A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice... Mmm, very very nice!
    Haha, your last line!! Yea, only a few close friends know (like one who was badgering me to ask this girl out somewhere saying she'd love it if it was her!) but they've said it's not that "hard" or anything, but at my age it's still freaky. I remember at like 13/14 my friends all messing about saying they hadn't kissed and it was a peck and graudally the one who had basically took the lead, at 18 expecting her to do that (when a lot of people expect the man to) is scary...

    (Original post by madanchi)
    lol dont sweat it, it'll be as easy as pie, trust me All you'll do is get chatting, have a good time, enjoy yourself and you'll forget about kissing and if you both do kiss then it will just happen without out thinking - (most likely anyway) - and no need to worry, i've got two long time friends who have never had a gf and they're 19 now :| so yeah, I keep that info under raps for their sake
    Haha, I dunno I worry a lot...but yea I need to try and forget about what if this happens or what if that happens because it's more pressure...

    (Original post by metrostation22)
    it gonna be great! i dont recommend drinking before - you dont want to spill anything down you!! about the kissing, just a soft one on the lips, even just the contact, is fine for the first time. as long as you take the lead in making the kiss happen when you want to, it will be fine!! promise. you sound like a nice interesting guy from just writing on here anyway so honestly dont worry, just ..be yourself! good luck tell us how it goes haha
    Haha! That's true! Thanks, hopefully it goes well.....

    I certainly get the idea that it would be bad if I drank even a tiny bit :p: Which is funny in a way, because 2 of my best friends (both girls) are saying different! One suggested it and I asked the other one and she's like "hmmm well maybe a little bit would help you", but yea it'll be far safer not to, and the idea of meeting now would be to be sober...
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    If I can jump in here, definitely dont get drunk, but by all means have a couple of drinks beforehand to loosen yourself up if you're obsessing this much.
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    Don't drink beforehand! Everyone gets nervous on first dates, even if they'd dated before. I guarantee you that she'll be nervous too. It's always a little awkward at the beginning until you both relax, and start chatting. Drinking alcohol may help, but it's far more likely to have detrimental effect. She'd probably notice, and she'd either be concerned about your drinking habits or wonder why you felt the need to be drunk for your date. Anyway, the whole part of a date is to get to know each other, and find out whether you're compatible

    As for kissing. Do not worry too much about it. As cliche as it sounds, it does come quite natural. Most people don't go straight for the French kiss. And you don't even need to talk about your level of experience. It will most likely come up eventually, but certainly not on the first date. If the girl likes you, she won't care.

    Relax! I bet it will be a lot easier that you anticipate. I tend to find that friends, as well meaning as they are, have a habit of making one overthink these things. I remember how my friends managed to make me overthink my first date, and how much on edge I initially was. And in the end, it couldn't have been easier.
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    Just take your time and be yourself because that is most likely how she likes you the most, also try not to take everything too seriously that is one of the biggest mistakes i ever made because i tried so hard to impress etc that it was probably too much for them to take, so just make sure you both have a nice time and a good laugh and everything will go smooth.

    As for the kiss just like the others said a peck on the cheek or the lips is enough for a first date if you feel comfortable enough to do that, it's not a rule to kiss on the first date there are many other ways to show interest in them and you could probably use this to make you seem really sweet / cute and they will probably like you even more then
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    What's this huge blank white space? Fail embedding youtube.

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    You dont have to kiss her, just do whats right at the time! When its time you will just know.

    Just keep touching her arm everynow and the when you are talking, or just little bits of body contact in general. Also gmost girls like it when you put an arm around their shoulder...
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    Thanks everyone, and yea Angelica, that's probably right about listening to others making it seem worse!!

    I get the feeling not to drink though based on all these people saying it :p: Haha, I know that was partly the whole point of it anyway, but it just shows how nervous I am to even think about doing it when my mate said! :p: A good point about her being nervous too though, that's true - I mean she comes across as confident a lot of the time, but inside she probably isn't...will be interesting to see what it's like . As one of my friends said yesterday "treat it as a catch up with a mate from home"...obviously it's potentially more than that, but I think that's a good kind of mindset to (try and...) go in!
 
 
 
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