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My friend and her boyfriend ruined my weekend. watch

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    I understand that you're annoyed, that is no way of treating a friend. It's good that you told her how you felt about it.

    Since they have only been seeing each other for 7 months, I'd say there is still a chance that she'll grow out of it. Now they go on a 6-month-long trip together: if they are still that clingy after that, it's a lost cause. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ziik)
    I understand that you're annoyed, that is no way of treating a friend. It's good that you told her how you felt about it.

    Since they have only been seeing each other for 7 months, I'd say there is still a chance that she'll grow out of it. Now they go on a 6-month-long trip together: if they are still that clingy after that, it's a lost cause. :rolleyes:
    Exactly. Thanks.
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    Her boyfriend clearly controls her.
    Relationships like this never ever last.
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    I've got to be honest and say I think I sympathise with your friend and her bf more. It's nothing personal at all, but if anyone said
    "but I was like oh so you're prepared to ruin my weekend, I have travelled 200 miles to see you, yesterday you spent sleeping, today your boyfriend comes down, I may aswell have not bothered coming!"
    to me I would probably have agreed and sent them on their way. It just sounds very creepy and childish, especially after they explained they have an open house policy. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, it's just that my gut reaction is that you sound a bit possessive and in my defence you did ask for honest opinions =/

    The best way I think I can describe it is that if one of my friends acted in that manner then I would feel at bit suffocated? I wouldn't begrudge my friend in anyway though, as the disagreement comes down to different expectations, rather than maliciousness.
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    (Original post by JadedHippy)
    I've got to be honest and say I think I sympathise with your friend and her bf more. It's nothing personal at all, but if anyone said
    "but I was like oh so you're prepared to ruin my weekend, I have travelled 200 miles to see you, yesterday you spent sleeping, today your boyfriend comes down, I may aswell have not bothered coming!"
    to me I would probably have agreed and sent them on their way. It just sounds very creepy and childish, especially after they explained they have an open house policy. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, it's just that my gut reaction is that you sound a bit possessive and in my defence you did ask for honest opinions =/

    The best way I think I can describe it is that if one of my friends acted in that manner then I would feel at bit suffocated? I wouldn't begrudge my friend in anyway though, as the disagreement comes down to different expectations, rather than maliciousness.

    I'm not possessive....it's not like it was me who has spent the last few months with her and is also planning on travelling the world with her. I had one day to catch up and I'm possesive because I want that one day to be boyfriend free?! I don't think so.

    He is possesive. He wouldn't even let her sleep in the same room as me, even though he had already come down the only day I had with her and spent most of it cooking with her and chatting. Even then I kept a face and made loads of effort with him, but for HIM to start suking because she said she would share a room with me for that one night, that lead to my outburst. It was one thing too much.
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    i can see how you feel OP my mate has been with her bf about 2 weeks and seems to spend more time with him than me or any of her mates, she is trying to fit in with his friends yet isn't bothering about hanging out with her friends who she has known for years.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not possessive....it's not like it was me who has spent the last few months with her and is also planning on travelling the world with her. I had one day to catch up and I'm possesive because I want that one day to be boyfriend free?! I don't think so.

    He is possesive. He wouldn't even let her sleep in the same room as me, even though he had already come down the only day I had with her and spent most of it cooking with her and chatting. Even then I kept a face and made loads of effort with him, but for HIM to start suking because she said she would share a room with me for that one night, that lead to my outburst. It was one thing too much.
    All I can say is that in the numerous times I've been in a similar situation the idea of telling a friend that their gf/bf should not be around had never even crossed my mind. The idea of them sharing a room with me and not their current partner is even more strange. Of course I would be the one sleeping on my own if their gf/bf was around

    It's just how I feel. I just find wanting to spend time with a friend while excluding others to be a bit strange. I don't think anyone is doing anything in this situation to deliberately hurt others, but the different expectations in this situation means that someone will be hurt, but it's important not to take it personally.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so here goes. I'm at uni. My best friend lives and works in London, with her boyfriend of 7 months. She invited me to come up for the weekend, we spent Fri and Sat in London, then we caught the train back to her mums place as her mum went away for the weekend.

    The weekend was all about us two catching up as it's been 5 months since I last saw her and she is going away next week for half a year, travelling the world with her boyfriend

    On Fri we all chilled at the bar, her, me, her boyfriend.
    On Saturday she slept all day cause she was shattered.
    On Saturday night we finally left to go to her mums house and we spent the night talking and cooking.
    On Sunday her boyfriend rings and says he wants to come down. I was like what the hell, its meant to be a girly weekend, tell him not to come, this is really awkward, I just want to catch up with you alone....she said it would be wrong of her to turn him down as her home is open to everyone but I was like oh so you're prepared to ruin my weekend, I have travelled 200 miles to see you, yesterday you spent sleeping, today your boyfriend comes down, I may aswell have not bothered coming!

    Anyway he ended up coming down. I was nice with him, joked around, made loads of effort even though I didn't want him to be there.

    At night I said to her can you at least stay in my room so we can chat a little before we sleep and she said ok. Then she randomly goes ohhh I feel bad for my bf next door can I move in to his room? I was so furious! Turns out he was sulking because he thought they should be in bed together and I should be the one sleeping alone..

    Please people am I in the wrong? I had a huge go at her saying she's ruined my weekend, calling him insensitive for inviting himself round knowing full well it was our last girls weekend in months and then kicking up a fuss about sleeping arrangements? Opinions would be great
    Your friend was in the wrong. You hadn't seen her for 5 months and she invites her boyfriend down. She's out of order...I don't know why some girls get a boyfriend and then forget about their friends. I digress anyway she was wrong lol.
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    (Original post by bjr16)
    i can see how you feel OP my mate has been with her bf about 2 weeks and seems to spend more time with him than me or any of her mates, she is trying to fit in with his friends yet isn't bothering about hanging out with her friends who she has known for years.
    Eurgh I hate this behaviour. I've had friends like this as soon as they have problems with their boyfriends they start to call me. I always wonder where were you beforehand.
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    (Original post by JadedHippy)
    All I can say is that in the numerous times I've been in a similar situation the idea of telling a friend that their gf/bf should not be around had never even crossed my mind. The idea of them sharing a room with me and not their current partner is even more strange. Of course I would be the one sleeping on my own if their gf/bf was around

    It's just how I feel. I just find wanting to spend time with a friend while excluding others to be a bit strange. I don't think anyone is doing anything in this situation to deliberately hurt others, but the different expectations in this situation means that someone will be hurt, but it's important not to take it personally.
    Yes but you're acting like I NEVER want him to be around. If anything he is always around. Are you saying you are willing to spend time with your best mate and be happy if his girlfriend is there 24/7 too? I find that hard to believe.

    And no...I am not saying it is unnatural for girlf/boyf to sleep together. I asked her to stay in my room BECAUSE I hadn't been able to tell her all my news while her boyfriend was there with us all evening, so I had can you stay in my room so we can chat before I have to leave for home tomorrow morning and not see her for the next half a year. I wouldn't expect her to stay in my room any other occasion. And then even then she went to his room and fell asleep there, knowing full well the weekend which SHE herself had promised would be a girly catch up was ruined.
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    You aren't in the wrong, that was really selfish of her. I had a similar situation with my friend this weekend. I went to visit her at uni and she spent all of friday night/saturday morning with her sort-of-boyfriend, when we went out with all her friends, and it was a bit awkward as I had just met them all! Then Saturday she was in his bed til half four, I was in her room alone, and only got out because I pestered her to so we could go for a girly shop. The sunday was ok, but again he apparnetly HAD to come with her to see me off at the station.

    So, again, no you are not wrong, she is. I'm quite amazed that I had such a similar situation at the same time!
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    It was pretty selfish of them, but I do think you overreacted. As far as they were concerned, they had a nice weekend, then all of a sudden you explode.

    I can see why you're miffed at them, but the overreaction might have looked petty. But then I suppose it's easier said than done to talk it through calmly, and what's done is done.

    I think you'll make a lot of ground if you apologise for yelling, and then talk more about why you were upset. Waiting for her to apologise for ignoring you probably won't happen. You felt the resentment build up. They were unaware, so probably think you just had a hissy.


    I'm not having a go or saying you're in the wrong, but that might be the viewpoint they have of the weekend.
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    (Original post by dogtanian)
    It was pretty selfish of them, but I do think you overreacted. As far as they were concerned, they had a nice weekend, then all of a sudden you explode.

    I can see why you're miffed at them, but the overreaction might have looked petty. But then I suppose it's easier said than done to talk it through calmly, and what's done is done.

    I think you'll make a lot of ground if you apologise for yelling, and then talk more about why you were upset. Waiting for her to apologise for ignoring you probably won't happen. You felt the resentment build up. They were unaware, so probably think you just had a hissy.


    I'm not having a go or saying you're in the wrong, but that might be the viewpoint they have of the weekend.
    No -they both knew it was my last chance to see her before she goes away to travel with him. On the phone before I came she said it would be just the two of us, cooking, watching movies, chatting. When her bf came too none of that happened, we just ended up in the kitchen making small talk..
    I had loads of really personal things I wanted to tell her by herself, but I couldn't, so I ended up making small talk with the both of them all day. Then the next day I had to go home.

    I didn't yell, I just told her exactly what I thought of her for inviting him around knowing full well I wanted to spend the time with her alone. And that was triggered by the last thing she did, move into his room. She couldn't even spare the last hour before bed for us to talk like we had originally planned, because he started sulking.
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    (Original post by JellyBean123)
    You aren't in the wrong, that was really selfish of her. I had a similar situation with my friend this weekend. I went to visit her at uni and she spent all of friday night/saturday morning with her sort-of-boyfriend, when we went out with all her friends, and it was a bit awkward as I had just met them all! Then Saturday she was in his bed til half four, I was in her room alone, and only got out because I pestered her to so we could go for a girly shop. The sunday was ok, but again he apparnetly HAD to come with her to see me off at the station.

    So, again, no you are not wrong, she is. I'm quite amazed that I had such a similar situation at the same time!
    That's so strange it happened to both of us!

    It's horrbile when friends are so inconsiderate.
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    Eh, I still think if you had a real issue with it, you make it clear early on. Is all.
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    (Original post by dogtanian)
    Eh, I still think if you had a real issue with it, you make it clear early on. Is all.
    I didn't have a chance to, he was on the train down before I had a chance to react! But yeah, I know what you mean.
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    maybe get a new friend or get her to come to you on her own then he can't come
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes but you're acting like I NEVER want him to be around. If anything he is always around. Are you saying you are willing to spend time with your best mate and be happy if his girlfriend is there 24/7 too? I find that hard to believe.
    Of course I'm willing/happy to spend time with them if their partner is always there :o: It's true that I may prefer it if their partner isn't there (partner dependent lol :p:) but....... and this is the big 'but' here.... (please don't take this personally) I would never tell them(or feel) that they were ruining my weekend due to the presence of their partner on one of the days, and if a friend had said that to me I would not have taken it well.
    Of course there are times when I just want it to be me and my friend so we can talk more openly, but if they told me they may as well not have bothered coming over at all because we could not do that..... well, like I said they know where the door is.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And no...I am not saying it is unnatural for girlf/boyf to sleep together. I asked her to stay in my room BECAUSE I hadn't been able to tell her all my news while her boyfriend was there with us all evening, so I had can you stay in my room so we can chat before I have to leave for home tomorrow morning and not see her for the next half a year. I wouldn't expect her to stay in my room any other occasion. And then even then she went to his room and fell asleep there, knowing full well the weekend which SHE herself had promised would be a girly catch up was ruined.
    I think it might just be because I'm looking at it from an outsiders perspective, but it seems stange to have your weekend ruined because you could not tell you friend all your news. I can understand you must be a bit disappointed that you couldn't tell her all of it, but you just seem to be overreacting a bit :eek3:
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    (Original post by JadedHippy)
    Of course I'm willing/happy to spend time with them if their partner is always there :o: It's true that I may prefer it if their partner isn't there (partner dependent lol :p:) but....... and this is the big 'but' here.... (please don't take this personally) I would never tell them(or feel) that they were ruining my weekend due to the presence of their partner on one of the days, and if a friend had said that to me I would not have taken it well.
    Of course there are times when I just want it to be me and my friend so we can talk more openly, but if they told me they may as well not have bothered coming over at all because we could not do that..... well, like I said they know where the door is.




    I think it might just be because I'm looking at it from an outsiders perspective, but it seems stange to have your weekend ruined because you could not tell you friend all your news. I can understand you must be a bit disappointed that you couldn't tell her all of it, but you just seem to be overreacting a bit :eek3:
    Haha, what's with the blushing face? Do you like your mates girlfriend? :p:
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    It really isn't too hard for her to say "Not today, let's spend tomorrow together, we can do this and that and blah, today I'm busy". I don't think you should've thrown a strop, though you are right to be annoyed, you should've just coolly said that you had come 200 miles to see her and that she obviously doesn't want to spend quality time with one of her friends, and that you were leaving. He sounds soooo annoying! It's horrible that she can't/won't/doesn't want to say no to him.
 
 
 
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