Up until the age of 15 I was severely bullied in school, mainly being accused of being gay, due to my lack of confidence and interest in females.
At the age of 15 I saw my 13 year old cousin die, was accused of his manslaughter, and later cleared.
Ever since this I have never been bullied again, is this because people have pity on me? I have found it very hard to make good friends, and relationships seem to be out as everyone I know knows of my past.
The area I am from is know for its violence, with not one weekend going by without some sort of major fight/stabbing, yet although all my friends get involved I never do, I have been told I have cold eyes, and that people are afraid.
Is there anything I can do to show people Im not the heartless person they must think I am.
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Everyones distant/afraid watch
- 09-02-2010 04:27
- 09-02-2010 19:51
- 09-02-2010 21:09
- 09-02-2010 21:13
just start acting warmer? approach people and be chatty and friendly?
cakes. people like cakes.
- 09-02-2010 21:21
It sounds like lots of your reputation comes from the friends you have and the circles you mix with. It could be a case of that they arn't right for you and don't do the best for your personality.
Be warmer, more open, socialise with different groups. Things like that can make all the difference!
- 09-02-2010 22:22
Some people say the friends you have reflect who you are ("show me whom you walk with and I'll show you who you are"), maybe thats why? Perhaps people are scared of you? Like the above poster said be warm and chatty with people and smile a lot more, be generally helpful around the neighbourhood and with people in general.
- 11-02-2010 00:05
I can see why them might be scared of me, but I do honestly try and be nice.. I guess I may have to dedicate my time to making some new friends.
- 11-02-2010 00:17
I bet *everyone* isn't distant and afraid. Maybe some people think that you're stand-offish or that you don't want to bother with them? Or they don't know that you're not involved with the stuff your friends do.
Plus, it can be really hard to talk to someone who has been involved in a tragedy, as you were. The event always there in the air, but it's impossible to mention it. It makes people feel awkward and weird and sometimes they'd rather avoid it altogether because they don't want to say the wrong thing.
I saw this with a friend whose mother died in a car crash - some people refused to talk to her like she had the plague! They pretended not to have seen her...
It happens. The best thing to do is brave-face it, be friendly, and don't let it show that you're worried that people don't relate to you.
Plus, it only takes one or two new friends to change everything - one person can introduce you to his friends, and then you end up with a whole new network!