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Boyfriend is arranging valentine's dinner..... (men's thoughts please) watch

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    and I'm wondering if he is going to take me to the same restaurant he has taken me to for since forever, because it was the same restaurant we met. We went there for our anniversary in December and I would really hope he has new ideas, but I really doubt it.
    It's supposed to be a surprise he's arranging for me and I really dont want to seem ungrateful, but it would be really nice if we could go somewhere new. I dont know whether it would seem out of line to suggest it would be really nice to go somewhere new for dinner. It's only a silly minor problem, considering a lot of the dramatic threads on here, but just need to get some other opinions (from men mainly)before I say something like, "I cant wait to try something fresh for valentines day. Somewhere I've never been before, it will be great wouldnt it??" (or something along those lines)
    Keeping things fresh is important to prevent a relationship getting stale and predictable, no?

    EDIT: 'Scuse the unnecessary possessive apostrophe in the title. I'm usually such a grammar nazi and I can't change it.
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    To be fair to him I can see why he books the same restaurant each time - he probably thinks it's romantic because it's where you met. But if you feel strongly enough about it then say something.
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    There are a few ways of getting around this:

    > make some "subtle" hints about a restaurant you've heard good things about
    > say you're up for an indian/chinese - whichever
    > be a bit different and you organise the meal instead
    > you've been together for over a year, you should be able to be quite open with each other
    > if he's made arrangements already just let it go this time - sometimes it's better to live and let live.
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    (Original post by After You)
    There are a few ways of getting around this:

    > make some "subtle" hints about a restaurant you've heard good things about
    > say you're up for an indian/chinese - whichever
    > be a bit different and you organise the meal instead
    > you've been together for over a year, you should be able to be quite open with each other
    >if he's made arrangements already just let it go this time - sometimes it's better to live and let live.
    Yeah I'm just a bit apprehensive about making him make any changes to what he might have already arranged. I'm trying to encourage him to take more control in the relationship, as I'm his first girlfriend and he doesnt feel confident taking control. I could be being counterproductive by making too many suggestions.
    I really like a man who can take matters into his own hands and arrange things, sweep me off my feet. A bit traditionalist, I know.
    I guess I better just be flexible and not expect him to get everything right every time. He hasnt cheated on me, nor have I on him and we have a good relationship. *sighs* I am such a whinging WOMAN!
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    I know what you mean, although my BF & I have staple places to eat that we love, it's always nice to try somewhere new. It may be a bit late to book an alternative place now though and you run the risk of hurting his feelings. Ask him what he has got planned, it could be the case that he has booked somewhere else. If not, explain to him that you would preferred to try somewhere new and ring up some places yourself. Only you know whether he will be upset with this or not.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    Yeah I'm just a bit apprehensive about making him make any changes to what he might have already arranged. I'm trying to encourage him to take more control in the relationship, as I'm his first girlfriend and he doesnt feel confident taking control. I could be being counterproductive by making too many suggestions.
    I really like a man who can take matters into his own hands and arrange things, sweep me off my feet. A bit traditionalist, I know.
    I guess I better just be flexible and not expect him to get everything right every time. He hasnt cheated on me, nor have I on him and we have a good relationship. *sighs* I am such a whinging WOMAN!
    He's gone out and booked the restaurant! Is that not taking matters into his own hands?

    You are a traditionalist?! Going to the restraunt of your first date is about traditionally romantic as you can get, just look at all the bloody films and media that's perpetuated in.

    As for whinging... yes. you are. You want to have your cake and eat, like 99% of other women, it's a bit pathetic/spoilt really.
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    (Original post by NW86)
    He's gone out and booked the restaurant! Is that not taking matters into his own hands?

    You are a traditionalist?! Going to the restraunt of your first date is about traditionally romantic as you can get, just look at all the bloody films and media that's perpetuated in.

    As for whinging... yes. you are. You want to have your cake and eat, like 99% of other women, it's a bit pathetic/spoilt really.

    I hate to agree but I do feel like women -myself included- expect too much of their boyfriends sometimes.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    Yeah I'm just a bit apprehensive about making him make any changes to what he might have already arranged. I'm trying to encourage him to take more control in the relationship, as I'm his first girlfriend and he doesnt feel confident taking control. I could be being counterproductive by making too many suggestions.
    I really like a man who can take matters into his own hands and arrange things, sweep me off my feet. A bit traditionalist, I know.
    I guess I better just be flexible and not expect him to get everything right every time. He hasnt cheated on me, nor have I on him and we have a good relationship. *sighs* I am such a whinging WOMAN!
    You mean you are such a woman. :yep:

    Anyway, you seem like a reasonable, practical person, so it isn't all that bad if you tell him how you feel. In my first relationship I didn't know what the hell I was doing - I really wouldn't have minded my gf telling me what she wanted, infact it would've made things a lot simpler.

    Open-ness is the key to longevity.
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    (Original post by NW86)
    He's gone out and booked the restaurant! Is that not taking matters into his own hands?

    You are a traditionalist?! Going to the restraunt of your first date is about traditionally romantic as you can get, just look at all the bloody films and media that's perpetuated in.

    As for whinging... yes. you are. You want to have your cake and eat, like 99% of other women, it's a bit pathetic/spoilt really.
    I have to agree with this to be honest (except the 99% of other women bit :indiff:). If you want to go to a different restaurant with him then organise it yourself, don't leave him to do it and then complain when he doesn't read your mind.

    Why not go to the restaurant he picks on Valentine's Day and then go out for dinner at some new place another time? It's not like there's only one night a year you're allowed to have a romantic dinner.
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    (Original post by NW86)
    He's gone out and booked the restaurant! Is that not taking matters into his own hands?

    You are a traditionalist?! Going to the restraunt of your first date is about traditionally romantic as you can get, just look at all the bloody films and media that's perpetuated in.

    As for whinging... yes. you are. You want to have your cake and eat, like 99% of other women, it's a bit pathetic/spoilt really.
    Agreed! Definately pathetic. But I just wanted him to be a bit more spontaneous thats all. Traditionalist, because I prefer the man to do the romancing and arranging, but I wasnt sure if my suggesting things would put him off arranging anything in the future (as he might be scared he'd get it wrong). I am sorting out a unique present for him now and personalising a gift as we speak.

    I'm not that easy to impress. That's an admission, but at least I forewarned the bloke before we got together (that I'm pretty un-boyfriendable). I am what I am, what can I say..... Things are going suprisingly well apart from that.
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    I get straight to the point, that's how I roll. So I'd just suggest you pick somewhere together rather than relying on his intuition if you don't trust it. That way you don't have to waste time "dropping hints" which more often than not, is totally unproductive.
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    (Original post by After You)
    You mean you are such a woman. :yep:
    Anyway, you seem like a reasonable, practical person, so it isn't all that bad if you tell him how you feel. In my first relationship I didn't know what the hell I was doing - I really wouldn't have minded my gf telling me what she wanted, infact it would've made things a lot simpler.

    Open-ness is the key to longevity.
    *agrees* Yeah ok!

    I just basically told a little white lie and said I was advising a friend what to do for Valentines day and my "friend" didnt really have much of a clue. He says he's arranged somewhere Italian in Victoria, London and that's not where we went last time. Seems that my man can read my mind better than I thought and must have got an inkling I'd want to try somewhere new.
    He'd definately due credit and more faith! Something special for Valentine's evening I think!
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    Oh I didn't read your post properly (with regards to preferring him to take control), school boy error on my part.

    Sounds like it's not in his nature to be overly creative or assertive so tell him straight, what you want. If you want him to be more spontaneous or confident (in terms of decision making) then give a few examples of things you'd like............but do this a few weeks after the date though
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    (Original post by Dude Where's My Username)
    Oh I didn't read your post properly (with regards to preferring him to take control), school boy error on my part.

    Sounds like it's not in his nature to be overly creative or assertive so tell him straight, what you want. If you want him to be more spontaneous or confident (in terms of decision making) then give a few examples of things you'd like............but do this a few weeks after the date though
    Yeah I'm going to be a little more specific during the next few weeks with things I would like him to do. He looks at me to decide everything and that's really unfair on him and it's also putting too much pressure on me. It's not in his nature to be assertive, you are right. Thanks
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    Rave on to him about a restaurant that you're "just dying to try out" for the next few days. Hopefully he'll pick up on the hints and take you there.
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    Lol he knows to show some more imagination. Even though that restaurant is special because of the memories it holds, it won't if you visit it 10 times a year
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    Yeah I'm going to be a little more specific during the next few weeks with things I would like him to do. He looks at me to decide everything and that's really unfair on him and it's also putting too much pressure on me. It's not in his nature to be assertive, you are right. Thanks
    Tell him it really turns you on when he takes control and is confident and assertive. Then start giving him opportunities to do this, with adequate rewards. Its like training a dog on some level.
 
 
 
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