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    I'm in the eleventh grade now, and recently I have been starting to play basketball with some guys. And the thing is, I really would like to know them better. I want to be good friends with them, but I honestly don't know how. In the morning, we play cards together and at break I play basketball with them. But still, I feel very distant from them. Like, they are such a big group, and it's quite hard to be close to a guy without the others saying "we're going out" or something. So should I be more outgoing? Because I think I am really maybe "too" outgoing and I have a bit of a girly personality. For example, when we play basketball (im not very good) and sometimes I don't follow the rules. Like, travel with it (lol). Do guys tend to get upset with that?

    Bare in mind, all I want is to be good friends with them. I see other girls do it. And I know they don't mind me and they are really nice, but sometimes when I walk around the school and bump into one of them, they act as if they don't know me? Like, they're not willing to say hi first...so I'm wondering is it because they don't like me? I'm pretty sure its not cuz of embarrassment or whatever as sometimes there is no one around.

    Sometimes I think I am too "over-loud" and prefer to do things the "girly" way. I am trying to change, but would love some advice on how boys that are in 11th grade could be "good friends" with girls.

    Thanks.
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    Put your clothes back on and wipe off that chocolate sauce.
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    ........
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    Just make stupid jokes with them..
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    Organise a get-together outside of school-hours.

    The basketball thing - as a former bball player, not following the rules can be a fair bit annoying. But that's just me, I prefer playing most sports competitively.

    P.s. there's a good chance at least one of them will have a crush on you, hence the shyness/blanking.
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    Well, I just want to make more friends and since I play bball with them everyday, it'd be nice to know them well.
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    In my experience, and the majority of my good friends have been guys, they never quite treat u the same for some reason, I don't think it's intentional, they just think slightly differently, so if u blanked them in the coridoor, they might not think it's such a big deal.
    Depends what they're like tho - but joke about with them, talk COD etc... Try to keep to rules cos they will see u better if they respect u more
    For me - if they start insulting u (in a friendly way, and you're able to do the same with them) you're in
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    I had the same problem last year! No...wait, I still have the same problem.
    Okay, sorry for wasting your time.

    x.

    P.S. - Try getting invited to an after-school thing with them like After You suggested. The awkwardness tends to dissipate for a few days afterward.
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    Just relax, join in with the boyish banter, make a few jokes, simple as that really. Theres no special rule about being friends with boys, but I've found that I get along with girls who have a sense of humour, some of my better friends are also girls. Don't try to become one of the lads, just join in with their conversation. Make a suggestion about doing some after school or something.

    Number one rule I think though: boyish banter. Join in.
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    I mean, they don't mind me playing basketball with them. And also I am not very good at basketball, and also they are all SO tall. And it seems like I always have to start the conversation first. Sometimes I feel like they don't like me, but sometimes I feel like they do. Really kinda lost.

    And yes, boy girl friendship is never the same as girl-girl or boy-boy friendship.
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    Keep it to banter and make sure it doesn't go too far into making them think you have a crush on them :mmm:

    Maybe they don't have the confidence to start a convo with you either, it could all just be a gender thing
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    LOL and its not like I'm really horrible looking. Not trying to be cocky or anything, but a lot of other guys are interested in talking to me and playing with me, but not this bunch. This world is so unfair. Whenever I want to do something, there's always a barrier. But when I don't want to do something, it is barrier free.

    Two days ago or sth it was "tell her she's beautiful" day and I receive like 15 of those messages from many other guy friends, but ofc not from the basketball guys. I really would like to hang around with them as I love basketball (:
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    Just be yourself =]

    To be frank, you can't force yourself on them. If they want to be friends with you they'll show it - if not, then just leave it. Though, i'm pretty sure since you play bball with them, you'll have at least one thing to talk about!
 
 
 
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