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2nd year uni - Lack of friends becoming hard to bare watch

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    I'm more than halfway into my second year at uni and am starting to feel really down about not having many friends and worry it's not gonna change. I have several accquaintances but no one I'm close with and see outside of uni.

    My one close friend is my boyfriend and he's on the same course as me. Our relationship used to be really good but lately it's been rocky, partly due to his depression. He rarely speaks to anyone on our course and will sometimes get a bit depressed when I'm chatting with others because he thinks no one wants to talk to him. Sometimes I feel I have to isolate myself a bit to be with him.

    The boyfriend aside, I'm not close with anyone on our course. I have a few 'loose' friends and I have met people I get on with but it never seems to progress into a proper friendship, even a year and a half into uni. I'm feeling it even more now 'cos everyone has settled into their friendship groups in 2nd year so it seems as if I've missed my chance. I've joined a society but it hasn't helped much and there aren't any others to join (our uni has very poorly organised clubs and societies).

    Back home I've got a fair few friends, I've never been 'the popular kid' or anything but I'm close to several people and still speak to them daily. When I'm at uni though I feel like I have no one and it's really starting to knock my confidence. I didn't think making friends would be this hard, especially going from a small town to a big city. Everyone is nice enough to me but it seems no one really wants to actually be friends and I'm starting to question whether I'm approachable/likeable enough etc.

    Lately I'm feeling like I'd rather drop out of uni than endure another 2 and a half years of having no friends. However, I like my course though so don't like having those thoughts. Any advice would be appreciated.
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    The internet is your friend. I'm not talking dating sites etc, but there are plenty of sites for people looking for friends locally. Maybe you & your boyfriend could do it together, get both of you out & talking to people.

    My girlfriend & I are in the a similar situation - we're both shy, she doesn't see people outside of uni & I don't see anyone outside of work. I think it'd be better for our relationship if we had friends but it's just the way it is. Are there no clubs outside of Uni? Volunteering etc is a good place to meet friends.
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    You wierdos...go and get a REAL life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm more than halfway into my second year at uni and am starting to feel really down about not having many friends and worry it's not gonna change. I have several accquaintances but no one I'm close with and see outside of uni.

    My one close friend is my boyfriend and he's on the same course as me. Our relationship used to be really good but lately it's been rocky, partly due to his depression. He rarely speaks to anyone on our course and will sometimes get a bit depressed when I'm chatting with others because he thinks no one wants to talk to him. Sometimes I feel I have to isolate myself a bit to be with him.

    The boyfriend aside, I'm not close with anyone on our course. I have a few 'loose' friends and I have met people I get on with but it never seems to progress into a proper friendship, even a year and a half into uni. I'm feeling it even more now 'cos everyone has settled into their friendship groups in 2nd year so it seems as if I've missed my chance. I've joined a society but it hasn't helped much and there aren't any others to join (our uni has very poorly organised clubs and societies).

    Back home I've got a fair few friends, I've never been 'the popular kid' or anything but I'm close to several people and still speak to them daily. When I'm at uni though I feel like I have no one and it's really starting to knock my confidence. I didn't think making friends would be this hard, especially going from a small town to a big city. Everyone is nice enough to me but it seems no one really wants to actually be friends and I'm starting to question whether I'm approachable/likeable enough etc.

    Lately I'm feeling like I'd rather drop out of uni than endure another 2 and a half years of having no friends. However, I like my course though so don't like having those thoughts. Any advice would be appreciated.
    What uni are you at OP? could you not join societies? wouldnt leaving it to go to a different uni make your bf even more depressed and tbh most unis dont accept ppl unless they have done the same modules so you may have to repeat years...i know that it is hard to move from the acquaintances stage but i dont think leaving your uni will guarantee a good solution - you may hate the new uni and course when you still like the original and not be able to make friends.
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    (Original post by Jennie1987)
    What uni are you at OP? could you not join societies?
    I'm at uni in Glasgow. Already exhausted the societies thing, there's nothing else for me. You are right though, it isn't a guaranteed solution and I'm probably just thinking about that kinda stuff cos I'm unhappy with my current situation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm at uni in Glasgow. Already exhausted the societies thing, there's nothing else for me. You are right though, it isn't a guaranteed solution and I'm probably just thinking about that kinda stuff cos I'm unhappy with my current situation.
    Honestly I know how hard it is but the way I see it is you just have to put up with it, get the degree you want and when you start working/possibly move for this then join evening classes (gym/dance/general), knocking on neighbours doors, inviting colleagues for drinks, societies in the community (photography/church/voluntary) etc. and not feel guilty about your bf. Depression is something that the person has to work out themselves and you not talking to people wont fix it - you still have to try to improve your life.
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    Join a sports club or a society. I met most of my friends through work (univeristy staff) and through a sports club, as well as those on my course (which is very small btw so there aren't too many). Don't let your bf drag you down with him, should it ever come to that. Attend to him when required but if it's having a detrimental effect on your life then you need some form of action.
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    I've not got any advice, but I'm absolutely terrified of this happening to me when I go to uni. :eek:
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    Yeah as above, join a society and a gym/sport group and start socialising with people you actually have stuff in common with

    Everyone has their times when they feel depressed so just help him when he needs it, but the problem he is feeling will soon pass. But just assure him that he is the only one you want to be with, saying it usually helps settle the mind.
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    (Original post by truthandtragedy)
    I've not got any advice, but I'm absolutely terrified of this happening to me when I go to uni. :eek:
    why? i reckon if you emphasise less, you'll make friends easier
 
 
 
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