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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've got a bit of a dilemma and have no idea what is the right thing to do.

    Basically, me and my girlfriend have now been going out for 2 and a half years. And we both started uni last September/October time.

    A couple of weeks after we started uni, my girlfriend began having doubts, she didn't think she loved me anymore, didn't know what to do, said she might not want to carry on the relationship etc...

    Obvioulsy I was distraught about this, didnt know what to do either, we talked on the phone lots, and her general message seemed to be for me not to expect her to change her mind anytime soon, but that she didnt want to do anything she'd regret (ie endind the relationship) until she next saw me in person. During this this time I decided to go out to take my mind off it, basically got very drunk and very upset and ended up kissing another girl.

    I didn't tell my girlfriend about this straight away, as I thought she was going to dump me, so would have just caused trouble that didn't need to be caused. But when my girlfriend came to visit, we talked lots and she performed a massive u-turn, deciding that infact she really does love me, and ending the relationship would have been a stupid thing to do.

    Obviously I was over the moon about this, and decided it was best not to tell her about me kissing the girl, as that would have ruined everything, and that at the time, I thought our relationship was pretty much over, and thatd itd be stupid to ruin the chance we had of being happy together.

    We are now both very happy with the relationship and very much in love again, seeing eachother every couple of weeks and having a fantastic time when we do. But I cant help but feel as though I should tell her about this, even 5 or 6 months later. But don't want to hurt her feelings and potentially lose her for something so little and silly.

    Basically do you think I should tell her about what happened now? And risk losing what we have. Or leave it and continue to be happy together?

    I know if I was her I'd rather not know, but i really don't know what to do
    • #2
    #2

    Just leave it. Don't risk messing everything up. If you really were just upset and would never do it again then don't say anything. Just make sure you make valentines day amazing
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    I wouldn't call it cheating if you just kissed someone so nothing to own up to imo.
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    dont....twas a mistake
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    i wouldnt say anything either - but only if you think you can forget about it, the idea of it haunting you for ages sucks. It was a weak time for both of you and you were almost over so i can see where you're coming from even tho i am 100% against any kid of cheating in any other circumstance. If i told my bf I didnt think i loved him then I'm pretty sure i'd understand if he did somethin stupid
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    i'd normally always say tell her.

    BUT in this case i wouldn't, not immediately. what you did was still wrong, but i think its best left for now. i would tell her eventually though
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    Screw the morals, don't tell her.
    It's for you decide, would you rather 'do the right thing' or keep the relationship? because it's highly unlikely/impossible that you can do both. She was already on the verge of dumping you, this will just make it that much easier for her. It's just a kiss anyway, no big deal...don't tell her.
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    I would have to say tell her. If I was her and found out years down the line you didn't tell me I would be so distraught.
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    i wouldn't tell her tbh. if all you did was kiss another girl and it doesn't mean anyting to you now then don't tell her. she is the one who said she possibly didn't love you enough to continue the relationship, and believe me OP i know how that feels coz my ex did the exact same thing when i started uni last year, and i know how upsetting it is. i don't think it's worth mentioning, because it was only a kiss, at a time when she had pretty much ended the relationship.

    just try and forget about it, it was a mistake, you were both a bit confused and unsettled having started uni, you worked it out and are both happy now. the past is best left in the past
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    (Original post by tinytinygirl)
    I would have to say tell her. If I was her and found out years down the line you didn't tell me I would be so distraught.
    yea but would you really? he didn't do anything other than kiss another girl. and this was after his gf basically told him she was ending the relationship coz she doesn't love him anymore . . . i really don't think she would have any right to get pissy about it
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    (Original post by emilina)
    yea but would you really? he didn't do anything other than kiss another girl. and this was after his gf basically told him she was ending the relationship coz she doesn't love him anymore . . . i really don't think she would have any right to get pissy about it
    Yeah I would really. The relationship was not over officially and kissing is cheating. I understand his position, but if I were him I would feel so guilty and if I were her be bummed out if I found out some other way. Also I hate the idea that a guy would be dishonest about something like that to me.
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    As long as she doesn't make Jezza Kyle whip out his lie detector on you I think you'll be alright :yep:
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    Do. Not. Tell. Her.
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    pffft. go out and sleep with 3 girls that you don't know the name of, THEN come complain about a guilt ridden conscience (just stating a point).

    A kiss isn't that big a deal and i don't think she'd hate you forever even if you did tell her... but i don't think it's worth the bother when it was clearly a TINY drunken mistake, that i'm sure plenty of people have made and forgotten about just as quickly.
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    (Original post by tinytinygirl)
    Yeah I would really. The relationship was not over officially and kissing is cheating. I understand his position, but if I were him I would feel so guilty and if I were her be bummed out if I found out some other way. Also I hate the idea that a guy would be dishonest about something like that to me.
    he does feel guilty. hence the thread.

    tbh he isn't being dishonest, he's just not telling her something she doesn't need to know. if i told my boyfriend i didn't think i loved him anymore and i was more than likely going to break up with him and he got pissed and kissed someone else i wouldn't want to know, as long as it is as innocent as the OP says. i really don't see how you can blame him, she basically said she was waiting to see him before breaking up with him. and tbh i had the exact same thing when i started uni with my boyfriend, he told me he didn't love me anymore but wanted to see me before doing anything serious. and it hurt a hell of a lot, i'm impressed that is all the OP did tbh. a lot of people would have done much worse.
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    Usually, I'd say tell.
    I'd always want to know, regardless.

    But, if you feel you'd be able to keep your mouth shut... I just get the feeling it might end things
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for all the replies. I don't think that I will tell her, mainly for the reasons people have already stated. The only thing that might mean I end up telling her is that I feel really guilty about it, maybe I shouldn't feel as guilty as I do, but I need to somehow forget about it, anyone got any tips as to how I can stop thinking about it every day?
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    ooooooooooooh tricky. I'd say tell her. She can't be pissed off about it but it was wrong.
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    NEVER OK TO CHEAT!!!!! be fair on her
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    pfftt...what's a kiss brah? Are we talking peck on the lips, cheek? Tongue?
 
 
 
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