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Am I weird or are others similar to this? watch

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    Im 23, female fit all the typical characteristics of an introvert -acting daft, drinking and socialising just give me headache the things I love most are walking in the countryside either on my own/with family. Also its weird but Ive always much preferred to go for days out (even if its looking at furniture) with parents than out with friends drinking or whatever. I find I can just be myself around parents and don’t have to put on an act. As a result of being like this (plus the fact Im shy) this Ive never had any proper friends really Ive always been an only child too.

    The thing is all these years when Ive preferred to hang around with parents Ive been more or less ashamed of it my mum always said ‘its funny how you prefere to come out with us instead of having friends’ Ive no idea why but I just do. When I got to 18 I felt the pressure of still enjoying the company of my parents over friends and the older I get the more pathetic it seems to everyone that I still live with prefere the company of parents to making friends of my own.

    There are lots of times though when Im just sat at home bored wanting to go out wishing I had friends to go out clubbing with so Ive no idea if the reason Im like I am is because im anxious about making my own way in life or if I really am an introvert who doesn’t like to have high maintanence friends. I secretly fantasise about being popular with lots of friends and liked yet when the opportunity comes to socialise I get bored and start daydreaming. Ive never understood what it is that people enjoy about clubbing/socialising .maybe you lot could tell me?? Lol My idea of socialising is talking to people at the gym/when walking the dog yet I always wish I was normal and enjoyed normal things!

    Im not ashamed to admit Im a loner anymore in fact Im sort of proud of it it means I don’t need other people as much as most other people do. I guess the point of posting all this is that I wanted your opinion how weird/abnormal would you say I am seriously? Are any of you similar to this did you have to force yourself to grow up do you only have friends because you think you are supposed to?
    • #2
    #2

    In regards to the drinking/clubbing thing, I'm agreed with you on this!
    Socialising in other contexts seems far more preferable :-)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Its the drinking/lack of I agree most with
    • #3
    #3

    Im quite similar
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    #4

    I don't think it's weird. You're very lucky that you have such a positive experience of family, and I daresay there a lot of people your age who would kill to have such familial harmony and safety!

    However, since you've got such a wonderful safety net in your parents, in a way it frees you up for a bit of social exploration. If you find you hate having friends and it exhausts you - then you have your family waiting, and you know you're okay with that.

    You say you've never had real friendships, and you sound a little curious about how it would be. I don't see what's stopping you trying, since there's not much pressure on you.
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    Who wants to be normal....how boring, I'm yawning.

    Anyway, seriously OP, there is nothing at all in the world better than being yourself what lifts you up is right, what brings you down is wrong. Be you
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    Have you given the socialising much of a try to make your mind up about it happening in contexts outside those involving drinking, etc.? There are obviously like-minded around in this respect who you can build up relationships with.
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    There is nothing wrong with you One of my friends is like this, and she is such a lovely person, so don't worry about it, if it's what you feel comfortable doing, then carry on.
    Although i'm slightly different to you in the fact that I usually prefer to meet with friends then my family, but ive got a close group of friends from my old school that I can be myself around. I think once you have got that group of people who like you for who you are, then you will enjoy being around them more
    If any of that made sense haha.
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    Im similar. And there's nothing wrong with it at all! I don't think it's a case of having to grow up, it seems to me like maybe you are more mature than other people of your age, because you don't want to go out clubbing etc, you don't feel the need to get drunk in order to act your age. Also, i don't think you need to change. There are plenty of people who don't feel the need to go clubbing in order to have a good time. The problem is, you need to do so some socializing with people your age to find the people who like the same ways of socializing as you. So, start talking to people at uni or work, try and find out if you can get on with them and make friends with them. You'd soon find atleast one person like you, and that person is bound to have other friends that you can meet, so you'll soon find a lot of your kind of people. Or, in the process of socializing/meeting new people you might even find out that you do like clubbing and going out. And there's nothing at all wrong with prefering spending time with your parents to people your age, however i think you should give people your age a chance. Even if it's just finding one person who you get on with really well, you can still go out with your parents but you can also go for walks with him/her aswell. : )
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think it's weird. You're very lucky that you have such a positive experience of family, and I daresay there a lot of people your age who would kill to have such familial harmony and safety!

    However, since you've got such a wonderful safety net in your parents, in a way it frees you up for a bit of social exploration. If you find you hate having friends and it exhausts you - then you have your family waiting, and you know you're okay with that.

    You say you've never had real friendships, and you sound a little curious about how it would be. I don't see what's stopping you trying, since there's not much pressure on you.
    True I know what you are saying but for some reason I just have more fun with my parents, still yea Id like some close friends I guess they become like family if you are close enough.:o: About the safety net point thats another thing Ive wondered I don't understand how people who have no parents to support them have the courage to get out there and live life Im very anxious about making my own way even with parents support!
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    Perhaps, OP, you just haven't met the right people?

    When you socialise, do you go for the typically trendy "popular kids"? I could see why you'd perhaps feel to put on an act.

    Edit: I also love spending time with my rents. My mum is ace. In fact, I've even been on nights out with my mum and my mates.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im 23, female fit all the typical characteristics of an introvert -acting daft, drinking and socialising just give me headache the things I love most are walking in the countryside either on my own/with family. Also its weird but Ive always much preferred to go for days out (even if its looking at furniture) with parents than out with friends drinking or whatever. I find I can just be myself around parents and don’t have to put on an act. As a result of being like this (plus the fact Im shy) this Ive never had any proper friends really Ive always been an only child too.

    The thing is all these years when Ive preferred to hang around with parents Ive been more or less ashamed of it my mum always said ‘its funny how you prefere to come out with us instead of having friends’ Ive no idea why but I just do. When I got to 18 I felt the pressure of still enjoying the company of my parents over friends and the older I get the more pathetic it seems to everyone that I still live with prefere the company of parents to making friends of my own.

    There are lots of times though when Im just sat at home bored wanting to go out wishing I had friends to go out clubbing with so Ive no idea if the reason Im like I am is because im anxious about making my own way in life or if I really am an introvert who doesn’t like to have high maintanence friends. I secretly fantasise about being popular with lots of friends and liked yet when the opportunity comes to socialise I get bored and start daydreaming. Ive never understood what it is that people enjoy about clubbing/socialising .maybe you lot could tell me?? Lol My idea of socialising is talking to people at the gym/when walking the dog yet I always wish I was normal and enjoyed normal things!

    Im not ashamed to admit Im a loner anymore in fact Im sort of proud of it it means I don’t need other people as much as most other people do. I guess the point of posting all this is that I wanted your opinion how weird/abnormal would you say I am seriously? Are any of you similar to this did you have to force yourself to grow up do you only have friends because you think you are supposed to?
    Im quite similar. I don't feel the need to do a huge amount going out and partying etc (although I am quite partial to a quiet evening in the pub with a few select friends). Occasionally I wish I did a bit more with friends but then I think "meh".
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by EffieFlowers)
    Im similar. And there's nothing wrong with it at all! I don't think it's a case of having to grow up, it seems to me like maybe you are more mature than other people of your age, because you don't want to go out clubbing etc, you don't feel the need to get drunk in order to act your age. Also, i don't think you need to change. There are plenty of people who don't feel the need to go clubbing in order to have a good time. The problem is, you need to do so some socializing with people your age to find the people who like the same ways of socializing as you. So, start talking to people at uni or work, try and find out if you can get in with them and make friends with them. You'd soon find atleast one person like you, and that person is bound to have other friends that you can meet, so you'll soon find a lot of your kind of people. Or, in the process of socializing/meeting new people you might even find out that you do like clubbing and going out. And there's nothing at all wrong with prefering spending time with your parents to people your age, however i think you should give people your age a chance. Even if it's just finding one person who you get on with really well, you can still go out with your parents but you can also go for walks with him/her instead. : )
    Thanks, Im certainly not more mature in fact my family think Im very immature for my age, but in terms of my interests etc I do get on a lot better and find it much easier to talk to older people than people my age. I get intimidated by people my age from my experience of trying to make friends a lot only seem to want to get to know people like themselves, or maybe its me being paranoid. Thanks for the advice Im actually going to uni in september so I'l take all that on board:o:
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Talon)
    Im quite similar. I don't feel the need to do a huge amount going out and partying etc (although I am quite partial to a quiet evening in the pub with a few select friends). Occasionally I wish I did a bit more with friends but then I think "meh".
    This.
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    I used to be a lot like that. Absolutely hated being invited to go shopping or to the cinema, always used to get so nervous. Just kept forcing myself to go and eventually it got fun However I genuinely do love drinking etc, so am no help there, sorry!

    Yeah, just everyone else's advice really, good stuff.
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    Sound a bit like me, except for me it's computers I spend time doing.
    • #6
    #6

    There's nothing wrong with what you're doing at all, but the fact that you've posted this suggests that you might be a little discontent with the situation, maybe?

    Obviously socialising with other people your age would at this point be quite far outside your comfort zone, so initially it would be awkward and seem like a less attractive option than spending time with your folks. If you can push through the initial discomfort I think you might be surprised with how much you might enjoy yourself. I'd steer clear of doing things like labeling yourself an introvert because you feel you fit the textbook definition, a person's personality is in a constant state of flux, changing a little with every new experience they have. You're a person and therefore unique, people can be introverted in some circumstances and widely extroverted in others.

    Again, I'll say there's nothing wrong with socialising mainly with your family, but there's a lot wrong with looking back from your twilight years and regretting that you didn't embrace life a bit more when you were younger.
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    you are definitely weird as i am neither female nor an introvert
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    Nothing wrong with it but instead of trying to get a group of friends I think you'd enjoy having one or two close friends you can do things with. I've never taken to groups myself, usually because you rarely find a group of people where you completely get along with everyone.

    With a group you probably wouldn't let yourself open up much, whereas with getting to know just one person thats similar to you, you'd probably become quite comfortable with them in no time.
    • #7
    #7

    Hi,
    I'm fairly similar to you. I love my parents and my sister, I can be myself completely around them and other people dont seem to understand how I can enjoy spending so much time with them. I used to not like going out so much, but when I did go clubbing with some close friends, I found I really enjoyed it. They didnt pressure me into getting drunk and we just had a lovely evening. Im now at uni though and feel terrible. My family are miles away and I feel so lonely. The majority of people want to go clubbing all the time, and having had previous good experiences I went out with people to clubs, but my experience was completely different to going out with my friends at home. It was all about getting drunk, getting with other people and generally not my scene. So I preferred to spend time by myself, but this quickly wore off.
    My advice would be to try going out- if people ask you, force yourself to say yes and see what its like. Your parents might not always be there for you (by this I mean you may end up living away from them etc) and eventually you'll probably find yourself wanting friends. It seems like you may already starting to feel abit like this.
 
 
 
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