Girl's diet making Me cry Watch

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EugeneD
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I Am going out with The Love of My Life, and we are soon to be going on to our Second Year together. She is not fat what so ever. The thing is she never eats any thing except fruit and vegetable, even when she is at Her own house. She is skinny, and now her diet has developed to an extent where she has unhealthy bags under her eyes. When we talk about having children she tells Me that she does not want to have any because they will make her look fat. I Am constantly telling her the Truth, that she is Beautiful, that she has an Amazing body, Amazing Bum and yet she has chosen to ignore Me all this time. She says that she Loves Me, yet when We are sitting there in front of My Mother, and I propose a certain question, My Mother goes she would choose the diet over you. She has suffered from bullemia before, and yet she thinks that this diet thing of hers is perfectly healthy and normal. Yet Today Me and My Mother were telling her, with My Mother crying, that that is not the case. I Am telling her she is killing her self, and when we are alone she is telling Me to "f-off" and refusing to speak to Me.

I Am 18 Years Old, and I Am crying.

Please tell Me what to do.

Eugene.
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Jonatan
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(Original post by EugeneD)
I Am going out with The Love of My Life, and we are soon to be going on to our Second Year together. She is not fat what so ever. The thing is she never eats any thing except fruit and vegetable, even when she is at Her own house. She is skinny, and now her diet has developed to an extent where she has unhealthy bags under her eyes. When we talk about having children she tells Me that she does not want to have any because they will make her look fat. I Am constantly telling her the Truth, that she is Beautiful, that she has an Amazing body, Amazing Bum and yet she has chosen to ignore Me all this time. She says that she Loves Me, yet when We are sitting there in front of My Mother, and I propose a certain question, My Mother goes she would choose the diet over you. She has suffered from bullemia before, and yet she thinks that this diet thing of hers is perfectly healthy and normal. Yet Today Me and My Mother were telling her, with My Mother crying, that that is not the case. I Am telling her she is killing her self, and when we are alone she is telling Me to "f-off" and refusing to speak to Me.

I Am 18 Years Old, and I Am crying.

Please tell Me what to do.

Eugene.
Have you considered talking to her parents? Maybe she would listen to them.
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EugeneD
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No she does not, I made her eat some prawns Today in front of My Mother because she feels ill and her immune system is completely crap, and now, for not the first time, she is saying "f-you", "f-this", no compassion what so ever, My Mother was crying Today, and yet still.

Eugene.
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Saffie
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I think maybe she should see a councellor? If she is seriously anorexic then maybe she should go to a clinic? From the sounds of it, if she won't listen to anyone, she has a proper psychological problem and needs professional help. I think you should take her to her doctor TBH.

good luck.
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Jonatan
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(Original post by EugeneD)
No she does not, I made her eat some prawns Today in front of My Mother because she feels ill and her immune system is completely crap, and now, for not the first time, she is saying "f-you", "f-this", no compassion what so ever, My Mother was crying Today, and yet still.

Eugene.
Well part o the reason she is so cranky is probably the diet. You get *****y when you go low on bloodsugar or get tiered. She obviously has some quite serious emotional problems if she feels she hasto diet to this extent. In the end if she does not get better and refuse to get help Im afraid one will have to have her hospitalised against her will. To me it seems as if it has gone to the extent that you may want to contact professional help.
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The Albatross
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Aww *hugs for both of you*. You really need to get her to talk to a professional. If she's not listening to her boyfriend telling her she's beautiful, then she needs help.

(btw whats with the Capitals?)
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unfinished sympathy
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the problem is that she thinks she's right, you will never change that even if she's 2 stone, she will still think shes fat. as you love her, i know that its dead hard on you as well, watching someone you love harm themselves and you can't do anything about it- can break your heart as you want to do everything you can to make them change how they feel. in my opinion you should contantly tell her how good she looks, (but don't bug her though cos if she doesn't believe then it will annoy her) also when you have lunch go to a restaurant or cafe whatever, and say let me order for us both- and order a healthy meal for both of you. if you have lunch with her every day then you are ensuring that she has at least one good meal a day good luck i hope she gets better
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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the reason shes becoming cranky sweetie is because she has a low blood sugar level - but to me this sounds like quite like anorexia or some other ED.....the girl is not eating enough to sustain her own body.....has become paranoid about how she looks....sweetie dont force her to eat something anorexia is a physchological and physical disease - pushing leads to more of the same characteristics shes showing.....sit her down (give her something to eat like an apple or banana to keep in check her blood sugar is ok) and ask her why she wants to do this......its very hard the road to remission sweetie its not a fail-safe either show her pictures of what she looked like before........ask her what does she see in the mirror when she sees her face.....if she says she sees someone whos not fat ask her do you see someone whos healthy.....if she answers yes then point out the faults such as the bags under her eyes etc......but dont force her in anyway - its the worst thing you can do ..... trust me ive been down this way before - when she admits she needs help bring her to a pyschologist and dietician! when explaining this people forget how important a dietician is......they will set out a meal plan what she can follow if she wishes as her stomach has shrunk to nothing never make her eat more than she can after all being anorexic the stomach is somewhat similar to when you get gastrointestinal surgery done and get your stomach shrunk - all you can do at this point is follow what i've said and make her come to terms but other than that be as supportive of a boyfriend you can be and allow her to see she is beautiful no matter what shape, height or size she may be xoxo
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musicbloke
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(Original post by EugeneD)
She has suffered from bullemia before, and yet she thinks that this diet thing of hers is perfectly healthy and normal.
People do not just get over bulimia nervosa. It tends to be apsychological trend that lasts a very long time. It is important that you know whether she is binging and purging at the moment. There are some tell-tale signs such as scarring on the back of the hand, bad breath, weird eating patterns etc. If she is not then that's a good thing but she does need to think about her eating patterns. There is lots of very good professional advice available. Bulimia is not something that you can overcome by yourself. It is also important to remember that while outward physical symptoms of bulimia (binge/purging) may have gone, she still almost certainly suffers from the psychological aspects. In cases like this, there really is a limit to what you can do as her boyfriend. Be supportive, offer help, but advice should really be left up to shrinks even if this is hard to accept.

MB
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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(Original post by EugeneD)
She has suffered from bullemia before, and yet she thinks that this diet thing of hers is perfectly healthy and normal.
she thinks this diet regime is healthy and normal because she isnt puging food this is not bulimia (imo) its progressed to anorexia or another ED which involves only ever eating healthily xoxo
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musicbloke
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(Original post by tammy_girl)
she thinks this diet regime is healthy and normal because she isnt puging food this is not bulimia (imo) its progressed to anorexia or another ED which involves only ever eating healthily xoxo

Tammy, can we leave diagnoses to the professionals please. Amateur diagnoses (from secondary source too) and notoriously dangerous.

MB
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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(Original post by musicbloke)
Tammy, can we leave diagnoses to the professionals please. Amateur diagnoses (from secondary source too) and notoriously dangerous.

MB
sweetheart I myself am an ex-anorexic I've seen the hurt which is associated with it I still blame myself for my mum and dads divorce over it - it splits people apart so dont tell me its a secondary source - I was at the point I had a tube down my throat which pumped nutrients into my body - I dont think he wants the same for his girlfriend and I was only trying to be helpful and as I had said it was only ever in my opinion xoxo
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musicbloke
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(Original post by tammy_girl)
sweetheart I myself am an ex-anorexic
This does not mean you can make a correct diagnosis. You may well be right but is much better for her to see a specialist.

(Original post by tammy_girl)
I've seen the hurt which is associated with it I still blame myself for my mum and dads divorce over it - it splits people apart so dont tell me its a secondary source
When I said "secondary source" I was referring to the fact that that you have only heard from her boyfriend rather than her

(Original post by tammy_girl)
I was at the point I had a tube down my throat which pumped nutrients into my body
I am sorry to hear that.

(Original post by tammy_girl)
- I dont think he wants the same for his girlfriend
I really hope that you are not suggesting that I want his gf to go through what happenned to you. All I am saying is that it is best to be careful.

(Original post by tammy_girl)
as I had said it was only ever in my opinion xoxo
No you didn't. See your second post. I won't quote it as I've reported it but you certainly presented it as fact.

MB
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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(Original post by tammy_girl)
she thinks this diet regime is healthy and normal because she isnt puging food this is not bulimia (imo) its progressed to anorexia or another ED which involves only ever eating healthily xoxo
see musicbloke i did say in my opinion and no I never implyed you wanted his girlfriend to go the same road I did either xoxo
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come on musicbloke, tammygirl's only expressing her opinion, and advising from her own past experiences. no harm done- we all trying to help eugene afterall
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musicbloke
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(Original post by tammy_girl)
see musicbloke i did say in my opinion and no I never implyed you wanted his girlfriend to go the same road I did either xoxo

Sorry, I assumed that the "imo" was connected to your opening clause. If only you'd punctuate your posts correctly we wouldn't have these difficulties.

MB
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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(Original post by musicbloke)
Sorry, I assumed that the "imo" was connected to your opening clause. If only you'd punctuate your posts correctly we wouldn't have these difficulties.

MB
well sorry, from now on I shall ok, just for you xoxo
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Saffie
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(Original post by tammy_girl)
she thinks this diet regime is healthy and normal because she isnt puging food this is not bulimia (imo) its progressed to anorexia or another ED which involves only ever eating healthily xoxo
:ditto: I've had control issues with food, and studied ED's at school etc. Tammy is almost undoubtedly spot on. Everything in H&R is unprofessional, but from our own experiences we can sometimes make relatively accurate diagnoses.
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JonnyB
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(Original post by Saffie)
:ditto: I've had control issues with food, and studied ED's at school etc. Tammy is almost undoubtedly spot on. Everything in H&R is unprofessional, but from our own experiences we can sometimes make relatively accurate diagnoses.
Relatively accurate isn't always good enough mate. Not to say that comments haven't provided incentive for help though. As many have stated, the only route to go here is professional medical help, who can refer to specialist places, or counseling etc.
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Saffie
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(Original post by JonnyB)
Relatively accurate isn't always good enough mate. Not to say that comments haven't provided incentive for help though. As many have stated, the only route to go here is professional medical help, who can refer to specialist places, or counseling etc.
Yep, Tammy and I both said to get professional help. (I did in my earlier post in this thread) :rolleyes:
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