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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Yep, Tammy and I both said to get professional help. (I did in my earlier post in this thread) :rolleyes:
    yup i even added to go and see a dietician along with a physchologist xoxo
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    (Original post by tammy_girl)
    yup i even added to go and see a dietician along with a physchologist xoxo
    what on earth is a "physchologist"?

    MB
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    (Original post by musicbloke)
    what on earth is a "physchologist"?

    MB
    sorry i cant spell it someone correct me please xoxo
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    The sad truth of the matter is that only she can help herself. You can't force her to get help, and quite often with EDs you have to reach the lowest low to see what a mess you're in - you'll get occassional 'glipses', but these do not tend to last long enough to take action on.

    It's all very well saying 'get her professional help', but unless she wants it, it's pointless.
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    (Original post by tammy_girl)
    sorry i cant spell it someone correct me please xoxo

    psychiatrist.

    MB
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    (Original post by musicbloke)
    psychiatrist.

    MB
    thank you xoxo
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    She has got to see what shes doing to herself before she can recover. You've got to realise that this is something you have no control over. You cannot force her to eat. Instead try and focus on the underlying emotional cause' behind the eating disorder. It could be just a simple case of having low esteem but then again it could indicate a disorder such as depression. The best thing you can do is support her and help her as much as possible. Good luck!
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    Thanks everyone; the thing is she gets checked out every where she goes, which of course stirs up jealousy , and every one constantly tells her how beautiful she is. Ok, I appreciate I have no control over it, but the thing is is that her diet leads to constant hysterias and over-reactions.

    The only thing that calmed the atmosphere down yesterday was me starting to cry and literally choke on my own tears when she was telling me that I am an ******** and this and that, for no reason what so ever, just because I am saving her life and Our Love.

    She had to wake up early today, 06:00, to go back to her house, so that she could go to the fruit whole sellers with her mum, because apparently she will be starving the whole next week otherwise and she wanted to stay up all night, at around 04:00 she fell asleep, I woke her up and I go baby shall we stay up, how will you get up, and she goes I will, so we both fell asleep. At 09:00 she woke up swearing at Me telling Me this is the last time that I Am seeing her, that I was supposed to wake her up.

    This hurts so much, what shall I do.

    Eugene.
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    (Original post by EugeneD)
    I Am going out with The Love of My Life, and we are soon to be going on to our Second Year together. She is not fat what so ever. The thing is she never eats any thing except fruit and vegetable, even when she is at Her own house. She is skinny, and now her diet has developed to an extent where she has unhealthy bags under her eyes. When we talk about having children she tells Me that she does not want to have any because they will make her look fat. I Am constantly telling her the Truth, that she is Beautiful, that she has an Amazing body, Amazing Bum and yet she has chosen to ignore Me all this time. She says that she Loves Me, yet when We are sitting there in front of My Mother, and I propose a certain question, My Mother goes she would choose the diet over you. She has suffered from bullemia before, and yet she thinks that this diet thing of hers is perfectly healthy and normal. Yet Today Me and My Mother were telling her, with My Mother crying, that that is not the case. I Am telling her she is killing her self, and when we are alone she is telling Me to "f-off" and refusing to speak to Me.

    I Am 18 Years Old, and I Am crying.

    Please tell Me what to do.

    Eugene.
    aww :knuddel: dont cry!

    try to find her height/weigh then work out her BMI. if its under 18, she is in need of help and you need to get her a doc.

    im on a similar diet. every summer i literally starve myself. i think its seeing all these gorgeous women in bikinis everywhere, combined with the stress of exam results (ie i cant control my future or exam grades but i can control my weight). even if my bf told me i was fine, i'm dieting FOR MYSELF.nothing anyone says can change that.

    however if you are discussing having kids, if the relationship is that serios and she definately doesnt want any but you definately do, maybe you shouls break up.

    not being pregnant cos it makes her look fat is a ridiculous idea. tell this to her mom and see if she can make sense out of her. if she has had an eating prob before, she may need help.
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    (Original post by missjelly)
    not being pregnant cos it makes her look fat is a ridiculous idea. tell this to her mom and see if she can make sense out of her. if she has had an eating prob before, she may need help.
    Mm, it rather supports the psychoanalytical theory of anorexia, trying to prevent sexuality by keeping her body pre-pubescent looking and associating fat with pregnancy. Anyway, Freud schmoyd.

    Just want to add, you said if her BMI is under 18 go to the doctors, hmm, I think the limit should be lower than that personally (speaking as someone a little lower who eats enough). But I'm sure she is under that and she really needs to come to some sort of understanding as to what's happening to her. Then she will need to take the necessary steps to get better herself.
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    At least you do not have bags under your eyes, and your immune system is not crap, but she has been doing this for ages.

    Eugene.
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    BMI isn't really a good measure of health - it's just an easy to do benchmark. No eating disorders clinic use it, as it just gives anoretics something to aim for - i.e being below 18!

    By the way, 20 is taken as the minimum 'healthy' borderline in the UK - 18 is used for people of cultural slight build - i.e. asians.
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    (Original post by Fluffy)
    BMI isn't really a good measure of health - it's just an easy to do benchmark. No eating disorders clinic use it, as it just gives anoretics something to aim for - i.e being below 18!

    By the way, 20 is taken as the minimum 'healthy' borderline in the UK - 18 is used for people of cultural slight build - i.e. asians.
    Oh yes, I'm one of those dumb people who consider's 19 or 20 too big Woah that looks bad on the screen. I do have a slight-ish build anyway- very thin wrists, anyway I have a feeling I'm talking rubbish...

    Eugene- just do *something* to make her see what she's done/doing to herself.
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    its not unusal for those who have one eating disorder to deveolp other s later in life. i definelty think she needs to see a doctor about this, she will most likely be in denial, about teh harm she is causing herself and i'm pretty certain that the time it takes you to help her get better will not be a plsent time. She really needs to talk to someone about this obsession with her figure and dieting (i'd give you the psychological term but i havn't got my resources to hand). she is in danger of this getting worse is she doesn't seek help, i understand this must make you feel very helpless but don't blame yourself, you are being very supportive and she needs that in her life as she tries to cope with this.

    Talk to her family, or if she has a close friend ask them if they can convince her to see a doctor. It's important she gets help, perheps try approaching her with the idea that teh doctor will be able to give her more help with staying healthy etc. After all if shes convinced she has no problem what would she have to hide? Keep being supportive and i wish you both the best of luck and that she gets better.
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    I've also been stuggling with an eating disorder for quite some time, and the only way she'll get treatment is if she *herself* recognises there's a problem and actually wants to. Going on at someone is not going to do them any favours, they'll only feel threatened and less likely to co-operate. I understand that you're worried about her but constantly confronting her about it might actually provoke her to keep doing it - weird how our minds work. I would try talking to her parents about it and say that you're worried about her.
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    [QUOTE=Saffie]Mm, it rather supports the psychoanalytical theory of anorexia, trying to prevent sexuality by keeping her body pre-pubescent looking and associating fat with pregnancy. Anyway, Freud schmoyd.
    [QUOTE]

    Think the BMI diagnosis of anorexia nervosa includes:
    -Individuals have an intense preoccupation with body size ans a distored body image
    -Diagnosed when individual has lost 25% of their body weight and refuses to eat
    -Obessed with food, frantic exercise, fear of loss of control, fear of sexuality (sexual maturity), and show lack of inner resources and self-esteem
    -occurs usually in late adolescence and approx 95% of cases are female
    -disorder causes physical problems inclusing periods stopping, low blood pressure, insomnia, low blood sugar and anaemia.

    Just some facts there, i think the girl in question is probably suffering from anorexia, unless there's binging and purging also, which could indicate bulnimia instead.
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    (Original post by friendlyneutron)
    I've also been stuggling with an eating disorder for quite some time, and the only way she'll get treatment is if she *herself* recognises there's a problem and actually wants to. Going on at someone is not going to do them any favours, they'll only feel threatened and less likely to co-operate. I understand that you're worried about her but constantly confronting her about it might actually provoke her to keep doing it - weird how our minds work. I would try talking to her parents about it and say that you're worried about her.
    I can see what you mean. I haven't suffered an ED (well unless you count not having an appietite when being depressed and losing weight), but i did used to self harm. And it took me several year to realsie what i was doing to myself. It took me wanting to stop to be able to stop. In any case whether it be an ED, self-injury or some other addiction/coping mechanism it needs the perosn who is doing it to be the one to stand up and say they will stop. Unfortunelty others can only stand by and watch, you can't make her better, but you can be tehre for her and give hr the support she needs, x
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    Yep, xXMessedUpXx there are lots of explanations of Anorexia. Just to correct your symptoms- anorexia usually develops in early adolescence and bulimia usually occurs in late adolescence. (That's definitely what I was taught anyway)
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Yep, xXMessedUpXx there are lots of explanations of Anorexia. Just to correct your symptoms- anorexia usually develops in early adolescence and bulimia usually occurs in late adolescence. (That's definitely what I was taught anyway)
    ah was typig from notes..i thought it was later...eek soz

    i'll look up.
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    (Original post by EugeneD)
    Thanks everyone; the thing is she gets checked out every where she goes, which of course stirs up jealousy , and every one constantly tells her how beautiful she is. Ok, I appreciate I have no control over it, but the thing is is that her diet leads to constant hysterias and over-reactions.

    The only thing that calmed the atmosphere down yesterday was me starting to cry and literally choke on my own tears when she was telling me that I am an ******** and this and that, for no reason what so ever, just because I am saving her life and Our Love.

    She had to wake up early today, 06:00, to go back to her house, so that she could go to the fruit whole sellers with her mum, because apparently she will be starving the whole next week and she wanted to stay up all night, at around 04:00 she fell asleep, I woke her up and I go baby shall we stay up, how will you get up, and she goes I will, so we both fell asleep. At 09:00 she woke up swearing at Me telling Me this is the last time that I Am seeing her, that I was supposed to wake her up.

    This hurts so much, what shall I do.

    Eugene.
    You obviously can't let this go on. If she won't listen to you and if she doesn't go to get help herself then you will have to make sure she does. If she refuses to go see anyone then go see a specialist yourself and ask them what you should do. Just make sure she gets professional help somehow, even if that means you will have to ask someone to hospitalise her against her will. I know it sounds harsh but if she doesn't do anything about it and you don't act, then who will? As I said, go talk to a proffessional if you can't get her to do so. Ask them what you can do and tell them how serious the situation is.
 
 
 
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