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    Ok... so my longterm bf cheated on me at the beginning of October when we both went to uni. He decided to have a relationship with her. I wanted to stay friends with him, and we have. I eventually got over him, but I refused to meet her, and part of me felt he was putting it off. We were best friends before we started going out, and that's what we became.

    I went through a tough time round this time. Along with this, i withdrew from my uni, hating my time there. I was sexually assaulted coming back from work, which has led me being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. My mum left to work in another country, leaving me to live with my dad, and we hardly ever talk. My best friend's mum died in December, a woman who I had known since I was 5 and greatly respected.

    The ex boyfriend broke up with her in December, which...i won't lie...made me feel way better. I still talked **** about her, which i hated cos i knew she can't have been that bad as I made her out to be. It only seemed on principle that I seemed to hate her. I had started thinking about meeting her, but as just us. it seemed a crazy idea...

    A few nights ago, I had a flashback and when this happens I seem to take it out on people i love. I sent all these stupid texts to friends. One in particular to the ex, i said tohim that if he got back together with her i could officially hate him. i had no idea what was going on in my head, and i only saw this in my sent messages the next morning. i apologised to everyone but he didn't want to know. he said that 'saying sorry', 'doing something' or 'buying something' isn't going to suddenly make it better. and i don't blame him, i've done this way too much to him lately.

    so i decided i was going to meet her. it would do me some good, as it would stop me talking **** about her if i meet her, and hopefully he will start talking to me again. i fbed her, stating my crazy idea. she replied she was really up for it, apologsied for everything and was so lovely! we decided we wouldn't tell ex just yet. so in short i'm meeting her for coffee tomorrow. i haven't told her that ex isn't talking to me atm, and that us meeting might combat that. it should be fine...but does anyone have any talking points i could bring up in case things get awkward? and just general advise?

    sorry for the long read, and thank you!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok... so my longterm bf cheated on me at the beginning of October when we both went to uni. He decided to have a relationship with her. I wanted to stay friends with him, and we have. I eventually got over him, but I refused to meet her, and part of me felt he was putting it off. We were best friends before we started going out, and that's what we became.

    I went through a tough time round this time. Along with this, i withdrew from my uni, hating my time there. I was sexually assaulted coming back from work, which has led me being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. My mum left to work in another country, leaving me to live with my dad, and we hardly ever talk. My best friend's mum died in December, a woman who I had known since I was 5 and greatly respected.

    The ex boyfriend broke up with her in December, which...i won't lie...made me feel way better. I still talked **** about her, which i hated cos i knew she can't have been that bad as I made her out to be. It only seemed on principle that I seemed to hate her. I had started thinking about meeting her, but as just us. it seemed a crazy idea...

    A few nights ago, I had a flashback and when this happens I seem to take it out on people i love. I sent all these stupid texts to friends. One in particular to the ex, i said tohim that if he got back together with her i could officially hate him. i had no idea what was going on in my head, and i only saw this in my sent messages the next morning. i apologised to everyone but he didn't want to know. he said that 'saying sorry', 'doing something' or 'buying something' isn't going to suddenly make it better. and i don't blame him, i've done this way too much to him lately.

    so i decided i was going to meet her. it would do me some good, as it would stop me talking **** about her if i meet her, and hopefully he will start talking to me again. i fbed her, stating my crazy idea. she replied she was really up for it, apologsied for everything and was so lovely! we decided we wouldn't tell ex just yet. so in short i'm meeting her for coffee tomorrow. i haven't told her that ex isn't talking to me atm, and that us meeting might combat that. it should be fine...but does anyone have any talking points i could bring up in case things get awkward? and just general advise?

    sorry for the long read, and thank you!
    He cheated on you and dumped you for this girl and hes mad at you for having a go at him? That's not on for starters. Why is it you want to meet her if they're not even together anymore? What will it achieve?

    Sorry to hear about your tough year though I'm sure things will get better and you will meet someone else who is right for you at some point.
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    Ummm, okay. Just make sure that now that she's dumped, you don't meet up and just spend your whole time ****ging him off, because that's just focussing your anger on him when it used to be her, and isn't healthy.
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    I'm guessing deep down you know you're only trying to be friendly with his girlfriend and him because really you still want to be with him. And I know it's really hard, but the best thing for you to do would be to not have contact with him for a while, until you've really gotten over him and are ready to have a friendship without an ulterior motive.

    Of course I could be wrong, but you seem to be overly stressing about the fact that someone who cheated on you doesn't want to talk to you, when really it should be the other way round.
 
 
 
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